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What Healthy Couples Know That You Don't

Rhoda Sommer on Relationships

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Relationships matter. Do you want to know the nitty gritty of what makes a relationship work? Get your answers to relationship questions. Learn how to keep respect alive & well, because lack of respect is why people get divorced. Learn what builds trust & how to recover from infidelity, drama or codependency. Advice from psychotherapist Rhoda Sommer based on over 35 years of working with couples. www.therapyideas.net
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Are you the woman who has everything except your man? Dating coach Evan Marc Katz will help you find him. Evan is the author of four books, has a blog with over 35 million readers, and has coached 13,000 women through Love U, his signature course that helps smart, successful women find lasting love. With a rare blend of wit, wisdom, and warmth, Evan is an invaluable asset to any woman who is frustrated with dating and wants to fix her broken man-picker. Each week, Evan gives tangible, practi ...
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Are you constantly striving to do everything “right” in dating, only to feel exhausted and stuck? In this episode of the Love U Podcast, Evan sits down with licensed psychotherapist Rhoda Mills Sommer to unpack the hidden struggles of high-achieving women in relationships. They explore the dangers of perfectionism, the importance of embracing uncer…
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Do you ever feel like being strong and successful in life makes love feel harder, not easier? In this episode, I sit down with Adrienne Everheart to unpack the real meaning of feminine energy—and why so many smart women unknowingly lead with masculine energy in relationships. We explore how to stop overfunctioning, express emotions in a way men can…
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What if the ultimate freedom—sexual, creative, personal—doesn’t actually lead to lasting happiness? In this thought-provoking episode of the Love U Podcast, I explore Miranda July’s All Fours and the larger cultural conversation around women embracing the “middle-aged sexual awakening.” But here’s the twist—I haven’t read the book. Instead, I take …
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Sometimes, we stay in relationships hoping things will change—but what if letting go is the real path to love? In this Love U Podcast, I talk with Carolina, a Love U graduate, about her journey from painful relationships to finding a healthy, fulfilling partnership. We discuss why smart women ignore red flags, how to break patterns of over-giving, …
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Growth in love requires openness to change, the willingness to challenge old patterns, and the courage to embrace transformation in the pursuit of something greater. It is the conscious effort to evolve together that truly sustains a relationship. Relationships flourish when both partners take accountability seriously.…
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In today’s dating world, is admitting you want marriage and kids considered needy? In this episode of the Love U Podcast, I break down why so many women hesitate to state their relationship goals—and why that hesitation might be working against them. We’ll explore how dating app ambiguity benefits men, why setting clear expectations isn’t a turnoff…
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Ever found yourself overanalyzing a guy’s mixed signals, wondering if he’s truly interested—or just keeping you around? In this episode of the Love U Podcast, I break down six clear signs that show when a man is genuinely into you. From prioritizing time together to showing affection and talking about the future, these are the non-negotiable action…
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Is it really possible to find love after 40—especially after divorce, disability, and a history of toxic relationships? In this episode of the Love U Podcast, I sit down with my former client Teresa, who opens up about her journey from rock bottom to happily married. We cover how she overcame online dating overwhelm, rebuilt her confidence, and use…
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Trust is basic to the infrastructure of every relationship. Trust goes beyond simple honesty. Trust opens the doors to vulnerability & deeper intimacy. Trust means we are able to share our deepest fears, dreams & our true selves which leads to stronger connections that stand the test of time.Af Rhoda Sommer
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Are today’s men too passive—or have women simply become too proactive? In this episode of the Love U Podcast, I break down the modern dating dilemma, where ambitious women feel like they have to chase men just to keep their attention. I’ll explain why this dynamic leaves women exhausted and unfulfilled—and why leaning into your feminine energy can …
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Struggling with dating dynamics and feeling like you’re giving more than you get? In this episode of the Love U Podcast, dating coach Evan Marc Katz sits down with relationship experts Tarah and EJ Kerwin to break down why so many women overfunction in relationships and how to shift the dynamic. Discover the key to emotional safety, effective commu…
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Does having sex too soon affect how a man sees you? In this Love U Podcast, I explore why timing matters and how it can shape the course of a relationship. You’ll gain insight into how men think about sex, why patience can deepen connection, and how setting boundaries can shift the dynamic. Whether you’re navigating early dating or wondering where …
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Why do some relationships fizzle out after a few months? And how can a shift in mindset lead to lasting love? In this episode, former client Rachel shares her journey from short-term connections to a secure, fulfilling relationship—without changing who she is. Discover why character matters more than chemistry, how to spot a secure partner, and how…
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Marni is a close friend, a high integrity human being, and one of the best I know at navigating change and radically reinventing your life. She went from being a high-paid dating coach to living a life more aligned with her values – leaving Los Angeles for a small ski town in Colorado – taking less money but finding more peace and happiness on the …
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Dating can be exhausting. Meeting people & dating is a messy business. We humans desire connection so let’s improve your odds for success with online dating. Dating can be confusing with so many choices, the search for a partner can feel like an endless series of trial & error. It can leave you wondering if the right person will ever show up!…
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Sometimes, attraction disappears in an instant—but is the ick a real dealbreaker or just a reflex? In this episode of the Love U Podcast, I break down why women experience the ick more than men, the psychology behind these sudden turn-offs, and whether they’re actually keeping you from a great relationship. From minor quirks to social conditioning,…
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Are dating apps failing you? In this episode of the Love U Podcast, I talk with Adam Cohen-Aslatei, CEO of Three Day Rule, about why so many singles feel burned out on modern dating. We explore the pitfalls of swiping culture, the power of matchmaking, and why dating is a skill you can (and should) learn. Adam also shares insights on Three Day Rule…
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In today’s Love U Podcast, I sit down with Julie Krafchick and Yue Xu, the hosts of the hit Datable podcast and authors of How to Be Dateable, to unpack the modern dating landscape. We discuss why so many singles feel stuck, the common traps that keep people from finding love, and how to shift your mindset to create real connection. From the myth o…
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Only 38% of Americans say they have a secure attachment style. This episode will explore all the ways our insecurities contribute to our struggles with having healthy relationships. Our insecurities contaminate our relationships and any ability to see things clearly. Our insecurities make us want to leap into the arms of any nearby rescuer/prince t…
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What do you do when he’s moving too fast or too slow? In this Love U Podcast, I’ll teach you how to slow him down, speed things up, and set boundaries that make dating feel easy. From avoiding blind dates with strangers to using FaceTime as your first date, this episode is packed with practical advice to help you find a man who’s ready to build tru…
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In this episode of the Love U Podcast, I talk with Aleeza Ben Shalom, a world-renowned matchmaker, dating coach, and author. Aleeza shares her journey into matchmaking, insights on aligning values in relationships, and the importance of intentionality in dating. We discuss the challenges of modern dating, how to approach relationships with clarity,…
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Learning how to be better connected to yourself and others is the key to everything you want. There is nothing more important than relationships and they can be very bewildering. We are often mystified and confused trying to understand ourselves. We find it hard to forgive or even give others the benefit of the doubt in these polarized times. Our d…
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Are your dating habits holding you back? In this Love U Podcast, I share the story of a woman stuck in a cycle of unfulfilling relationships, and reveal how to identify and break bad dating habits. Learn why settling doesn’t work, how to embrace your worth, and how aiming higher can transform your love life. If you’re ready for something better, th…
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In this emergency episode of the Love U Podcast, I share my experience facing wildfires that threatened my home and family. From managing chaos to working as a team with my wife, this crisis reinforced the importance of love, communication, and clarity. Tune in for valuable insights on navigating challenges together. 🌟Join the FREE 5-Day Challenge:…
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Anxious and avoidant attachment styles may seem like opposites, but they share surprising traits that can hold you back in love. In this episode, I uncover what these patterns have in common and how they impact relationships in ways you might not expect. If fear or frustration has been getting in the way of your happiness, you don’t want to miss th…
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Listen if you are wondering how to determine how much is too much codependency or suspect you are codependent then you may have neglected too many important parts of your own life. Like a juggler in the circus you need to be aware of your own needs not just your partners and sense when you’ve begun to lose track of yourself.…
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Are you unsure about your attraction to the man you’re dating? In this Love U Podcast episode, I delve into how to navigate that uncertain feeling, distinguish between negative and neutral attraction, and evaluate whether a connection has the potential to grow. I share practical strategies for assessing comfort, fun, and attraction on early dates, …
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Are dating, relationships, and marriage a thing of the past? In this episode of the Love U Podcast, my friend, Carol, and I discuss the cultural shifts impacting modern love. We explore why so many people are opting out of dating, whether online dating is making things harder, and how societal expectations around gender roles and attraction play in…
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Do you spend too much time in your head overthinking your relationship? In this episode of the Love U Podcast, I explore the two most common types of overthinking in relationships: anxious attachment and analyzing failing relationships to death. I share why overthinking happens, how it sabotages your happiness, and the tough questions you need to a…
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Are you really being ghosted—or are you misreading the situation? In this episode of the Love U Podcast, I unpack the nuances of ghosting, explore what it really means, and challenge common misconceptions. From dating app conversations that fizzle to serious relationships that abruptly end, I delve into how to differentiate between typical dating b…
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Sometimes, the best choice is to prioritize yourself over a relationship. In this Love U Podcast, I explore six reasons why you might choose self-focus over dating, whether for personal growth, independence, or emotional well-being. Embracing time alone can help you rediscover what you truly want and regain clarity. If you’re ready to navigate the …
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We delve into the experiences of the LGBTQ+ community, focusing on the common challenges faced and the innovative solutions that are paving the way for a brighter future. Whether you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community, an ally, or someone looking to deepen your understanding, this episode promises to offer valuable insights and actionable advice.…
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What is masculine energy, and why do women need from the men their relationships? In this episode of the Love U Podcast, Carol and I unpack the dynamics of masculine and feminine energies, sharing how they complement each other to create stronger, healthier partnerships. We explore the challenges of shifting gender roles, why men and women often st…
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In the early stages of dating, taking things slow can make all the difference. In this Love U Podcast, I reveal the best practices for dating during the first month, from pacing emotional intimacy to setting boundaries that protect your self-worth. Discover how to keep things balanced, avoid common pitfalls, and see if he has genuine relationship p…
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Both pornography & sexual addiction are very challenging issues for couples. There can be real communication challenges because porn use & sex addiction can make communication about intimacy and sexual preferences impossible. Individuals may find it difficult to discuss their feelings or concerns openly, fearing judgment or rejection. Shame makes t…
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In a world that can feel negative about dating, it’s easy to believe there are no good men left. In this episode, I challenge that belief with real stories and research showing that genuine, committed men do exist. I share two stories of men who found love later in life, despite heartbreak, and emphasize that finding a great partner is about stayin…
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Have you ever found yourself fixating on someone you barely know, building a fantasy that leads to disappointment? In this episode of the Love U Podcast, I share how to break free from this cycle. I discuss the reasons why obsessing over someone too soon can be emotionally harmful and offer six practical steps to regain your focus and self-worth. L…
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As a high-achieving woman, you have choices. You can choose to give a chance to a guy who is not your type, or stick with your type. You can choose to make his behavior a dealbreaker, or learn to accept him in full. In this episode, my friend Carol Allen and I consider your choices and draw the same conclusion: all married couples compromise your w…
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Relationships take work, like anything worthwhile. This episode is going to help you develop skills as a couple. Just like the work of flossing your teeth is better than just brushing, there are skills one or both of you can learn to improve your relationships. Building trust is not an act of magic, it is built on being honest about disagreement an…
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Have you ever been stuck in a situation where you’re giving more than you’re getting? In this episode of the Love U Podcast, we dive into the tough but necessary conversation about breaking up with someone who isn’t ready to commit. I’ll guide you on how to recognize when a relationship isn’t progressing and why it’s important to set boundaries to …
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It’s not just a hit Netflix series; it’s a direct calling for me to respond as a Jewish man married to a Catholic woman in a healthy interfaith relationship. In this episode, I talk about what’s bad, what’s good, and what Love U principles Kristen Bell’s character violates in her attempts to rid herself of a kind, consistent boyfriend. If you’ve wa…
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