Behind the Therapists

Come Here To Me: Relationship Experts Walk the Talk

In "Behind the Therapists" Karen and Figs use the feeling of being overextended to explore 3 "roses" and 1 "thorn" about being a couples therapist, each.

Karen finds it rewarding to…

• Take desperate and confused couples and organize what is really happening for them.
• Help others (thereby feeling valuable as a person enough to "exist for today.")
• Experience couples on the edge of giving up on the relationship become open-hearted.

Karen finds it most difficult to bear the moments when a couple is stuck and she has a hard time holding them in a frame of hope.

Figs is fulfilled by…

• How alive couples therapy is—he has to show up for the couple in the moment, no matter what.
• Going deeper and deeper into sadness, hopelessness, and despair with a couple, trusting that they'll come through closer.
• The performance and artistry of a session.

The most difficult sessions for Figs are when a couple doesn't trust him yet—they're not in alliance.

"Research has shown that a simple act of kindness directed toward another improves the functioning of the immune system and stimulates production of serotonin in both the recipient of the kindness and the person extending the kindness.

Even more amazing is that persons observing the act of kindness have similar beneficial results. Imagine this: kindness extended, received, or observed beneficially impacts the physical health and feelings of everyone involved.” — Dr. Wayne W. Dyer