"Am I avoiding my feelings?"

Ask Kati Anything

This week we talk about sitting with our feelings and dealing with anxious thoughts, why self-harm is often talked about only in relation to teens, and why we can suddenly have suicidal thoughts. Then we get into whether or not we can do inner child work by ourselves, how to get ourselves to realize things aren’t as bad as they seem, and if therapy can be harmful. Ask Kati Anything ep.246 | Your mental health podcast, with Kati Morton, LMFT Audience questions: 1. I have learned how to feel my feelings and emotions in therapy, and I also realized that before that I used to not allow myself to really feel my feelings. I have bad anxiety and a lot of times my thoughts spiral out of control and then I end up worrying about all kinds of things and feel so much more anxious. I have realized if I don’t give in to all my thoughts, I feel a lot less anxious but is this avoiding feeling my feelings? Shouldn’t I be able to sit with my fears and uncomfortable feelings without pushing them away or avoiding to think about them? 2. Why is self injury usually talked about in relation to teens? I feel like I rarely hear it talked about as a coping mechanism for adults. Is it something that is more concerning if an adult does it? I am 37 years old and I have cptsd, adhd, anxiety and depression and have been in therapy for 5 years. I have been good at refraining from self injury but when things get too overwhelming it still is my first go to thought and unfortunately sometimes the way I cope (for example the outcome of the US election). My therapist is aware but I have a lot of shame because it feels “childish”. What are your thoughts? 3. So a few weeks ago I got this sudden urge to write a goodbye letter. I’ve dealt with suicidal thoughts on and off, but that idea has never really come up until now. Would you know why this suddenly happened? Should I be concerned? What should I do? I haven’t written anything down on paper yet, but a draft is being formulated in my head and the urge is still present. 4. How can I do inner child work by myself (therapy ended) when I dissociate 24/7? I remember you said you can’t process trauma when you are dissociating. When I was in therapy I was also dissociating in basically every session. When I try to do inner child work or journal for example, I sometimes feel it’s not so helpful because I feel so disconnected from it and I am not actually feeling what I am writing. 5. What are effective methods of realizing things aren’t as bad as they seem? I would also like to see a video about lost time that comes with depression and other disorders, and how to deal with and prevent losing so much time. 6. Can therapy be “harmful“? I sometimes feel like therapy makes my thoughts spiral more. I am very self aware and analyze everything about my thoughts and behaviors constantly, and therapy has made this so much worse. I love therapy and learning more about myself and analyzing where everything came from etc. but I also feel like I am very obsessive with it and it occupies my mind 24/7 and as a result I feel worse. I also feel like I consume too much psychological content but I find it so interesting. PUBLISHED BOOKS Traumatized https://geni.us/Bfak0j Are u ok? https://geni.us/sva4iUY ONLINE THERAPY While I do not currently offer online therapy, BetterHelp can connect you with a licensed, online therapist: https://betterhelp.com/kati (enjoy 10% off your first month) SOCIAL X https://twitter.com/KatiMorton TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@katimorton

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