A source for childhood sexual abuse and incest survivors to get the tools and inspiration for a life beyond coping and managing symptoms. You can have lasting healing so you can live your very best life.
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Growing up in abuse and neglect likely means nobody was there for you. You learn to abandon yourself the way that you were abandoned. If you’re there for everyone else while you still feel alone, I share how you can learn to be there for yourself so you can guarantee you’ll never be neglected again. Thank you to my amazing producer, David Ruck. Web…
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025: Overcoming Your Fear of Conflict
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25:16
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In a dysfunctional family, rupture and repair, disconnection and reconnection isn’t modeled to you. Conflict is threatening so you betray yourself and work to keep the peace so you can avoid being abandoned. I share from my own life how I’ve overcome this and give you the specific steps for not only engaging in healthy conflict but using it for dee…
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024: Controlled By People’s Expectations
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When you’re raised in abuse and neglect, you become very aware of other people’s feelings and needs to keep yourself safer and to get your needs met. You become sensitive to disappointing people or losing their approval or acceptance and that can lead to exhausting yourself trying to meet their expectations. I’ll share the powerful keys for working…
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023: Learned Helplessness & Taking Back Your Life
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Childhood is supposed to prepare you to be an empowered adult but childhood abuse leaves you feeling not only powerless and helpless as a child but throughout your life. The learned helplessness can impact everything from the relationships you settle for to the risks you’re unwilling to take. I’ll share the indications you’re still in learned helpl…
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022: How Childhood Neglect Impacts Your Relationships
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Emotional neglect in childhood has far reaching effects in your life. In fact, most relationship troubles are rooted in the ways you coped with not getting your needs met and the way you learned to attach to people or detach from people. You’ll learn your particular attachment style, not only to transform your relationships, but to heal from the wo…
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021: 7 Hidden Ways Abuse Teaches You Self-Neglect
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With childhood sexual abuse, your needs for protection and nurturing weren’t met. And chances are, the neglect didn’t end in childhood because the way you were treated becomes the way you treat yourself. I’ll share the 7 hidden ways you’re likely perpetuating the cycle of neglect and how to reverse the effects of neglect and abuse. To get the maste…
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020: Boundaries With Your Dysfunctional Family
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If you grew up in dysfunction, it can be very difficult to develop boundaries with your family in adulthood. I’ll share how to overcome the pressures to go along with the way things have been. Then I’ll give you a simple formula for expressing boundaries and some practical tips for thriving during family events. To get the boundaries formula I shar…
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Childhood sexual abuse can lead to perpetual people pleasing even after the abuse ends. I’ll share the damage it causes to yourself and to your relationships and why it’s vital to treat your yes as sacred. I’ll show you the best way to own your no and take back control of your life. For a list of gracious ways to say no, go to the show notes page: …
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018: Deciding to Go No-Contact With Family
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The relationship with your family of origin is for your survival and well-being. But what if the relationship is actually harmful? At what point is estrangement a good option? I'll share the pros and cons of staying and leaving, the specific ways you can gain more clarity, and the hidden signs that the relationship is actually already over. Show no…
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It can be excruciating to really see the level of betrayal you’ve experienced with childhood sexual abuse. The betrayal wound creates a chasm in all your relationships until you face and heal it. I share my family’s betrayal and how I navigated that as well as how you can heal the wounds in your own life. Show notes page: https://overcomingsexualab…
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In the last episode, I shared the truths behind those internal and external pressures that keep us locked up with the secrets. I ended with my parents hearing about me speaking out and the certified letter from my mother demanding that I stop. We’ll continue with how I processed her threats, the subsequent lawsuit and how you can better protect you…
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There are internal and external pressures to protect your abuser and keep the secret of sexual abuse and speaking out sometimes comes with very real social and legal consequences. I uncover the hidden attitudes and beliefs that position us as protectors of the secrets and lies as I share my process of speaking out. Then I share how to process those…
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014: Finding Your Voice After Being Silenced By Abuse
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Neglect and abuse make it a matter of survival to not only silence your speaking voice but your internal voice. I share the specific reasons it was survival to shut down your voice, the hidden effects of that now, and how to work through the fear of using your voice so you can regain your power. Go to the show notes page for the free healing resour…
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013: 3 Vital Ways to Care for Yourself As You Heal
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Healing from abuse requires extra time and energy. While we can’t stop regular life to make room for healing, we can make adjustments to create the space that we deserve. I’ll share the 3 most important ways you can care for yourself as you heal so you’re empowered to move forward. Go to the show notes page for the free healing resource that accomp…
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012: How Abuse and Healing Impacted My Marriage
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The effects of abuse are particularly felt in an intimate relationship. I’m joined by my husband, Don Enevoldsen, and we share the specific ways abuse affected our marriage and the healing process, and the insights we gained as we navigated through to create stability and true partnership. Go to the show notes page for the free healing resource tha…
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011: Taking Back Your Story After Abuse
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Childhood abuse forces us into a role and story that isn’t our own. If you feel that someone else or some outside force has control over your life, this is how to take back control. You can rewrite your story and create the ending YOU want. Go to the show notes page for the free healing resource that accompanies this episode: https://overcomingsexu…
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010: Soothing the Pain While You Heal
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If you've started to face your past, you already know that it's very painful. So many survivors think they have to choose between the extremes of being overwhelmed by pain or else avoiding it. I show you how to instantly feel better without relying on unhealthy coping methods so you can follow through with your commitment to heal. Go to the show no…
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009: Reconnecting to Your Inner Voice
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In childhood abuse, shutting down your inner voice is survival, but in adulthood, it's dangerous. I share how you silenced your voice in the first place, why it feels so threatening to hear yourself, and how to work through that fear so you can learn to listen to yourself so you're able to keep yourself safe. Go to the show notes page for the free …
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008: How to Protect Yourself From Gaslighting
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Gaslighting is when someone tries to dismantle your reality by invalidating your thoughts, observations, perceptions, and feelings. Survivors of abuse are particularly vulnerable. I'll share how to identify gaslighting, how to escape it and then keep yourself safe from it in the future. Go to the show notes page for the free healing resource that a…
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007: Overcoming the Fear of Rejection
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As humans, rejection is one of the things we fear the most. Even something as simple as criticism can trigger our fight or flight response. so I'll help you break through the pain and fear of rejection so you can feel accepted, secure and loved. Go to the show notes page for the free healing resource that accompanies this episode: https://overcomin…
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006: Guilt Over Setting Boundaries
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After the violation of abuse, it can feel wrong to deny access to things that actually belong to you. What's yours doesn't feel like yours and that can trigger feelings of guilt when you start to say no. I'll lead you through some simple exercises so guilt will never stand between you and your boundaries again. Go to the show notes page for the hea…
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005: Standing Up to Our Incest Family Pt 2
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I’m joined again by my daughter, Bethany, who is also the cofounder of Overcoming Sexual Abuse. We continue to share how we stood up to our incest family together with both the painful and yet empowering effects of that. Then we share how that helped us as we started on the healing journey. Go to the show notes page for the healing resources: https…
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004: Standing Up to Our Incest Family: Part 1
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29:28
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I'm joined by my daughter, Bethany, who is also the co-founder of Overcoming Sexual Abuse. Bethany shares what it was like to grow up in an incest family and how that sabotaged our mother-daughter relationship. We talk about how we stood up to our incest family together and then started on the healing journey. Go to the show notes page for the heal…
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001: 8 of the Biggest Mistakes While Healing From Abuse
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26:42
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These are the top 8 things that may already be frustrating you or stopping you from healing. I’ll share how and why these things slow you down and what you can do to avoid them. And then I’ll give you empowering alternative approaches so you can heal and finally put your past behind you. Go to the show notes page for the healing resources: https://…
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002: When Fear Tries to Stop You From Healing From Abuse
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21:49
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If you’ve experienced the fear about facing your past, and find yourself avoiding the real work of healing, this is for you. I’ll show you why it feels impossible to move past the fear. I’ll give you some very powerful and practical steps to take so you can get on with your healing and life. Go to the show notes page for the healing resources: http…
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Toxic shame and abuse go hand in hand. I’ll share the purpose of shame, the difference between healthy shame and toxic shame, and how it comes in. Because chances are, if you have toxic shame, you’re vulnerable to more shame. I’ll help you process the shame you’re carrying and protect yourself from more coming in. Go to the show notes page for the …
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In this introduction episode, I share who I am, some of my story and why I’m passionate about helping you overcome abuse. I share the topics coming up to help you move through your healing so you can live beyond the abuse. Go to the show notes page for the healing resources: https://overcomingsexualabuse.com/000 Special thanks to my producer, David…
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