E02: Monogamish: Navigating the Hall Pass with Sarah Marshank

The Radical Intimacy Podcast

Today's episode touches on a cultural phenomenon that often takes place at dinner parties and on social media: the celebrity hall pass. And while there's a non-threatening safety built into this because of the unlikelihood of the opportunity to act on the desire, it still plays the role of a culturally sanctioned admission of a desire to be sexual with someone outside of your committed monogamous relationship. With the resurgence of conversations around open marriages in the zeitgeist, there are many of us out there with questions on how to navigate this territory in a way that is mindful and honors everyone involved. Our guest is one of my most-admired friends and relationship role-models, Sarah Marshank, who is the founder of Selfistry, author of Being Selfish, and a prolific sharer of practical spirituality and conscious awakening in spaces from packed auditoriums to white-sand beaches, to boardrooms.

This enriching conversation kicks off with defining what it is to be ‘monogamish’ and unpacking the two very different concepts of being intimate and being sexual, before exploring the importance of keeping your heart and mind focussed on the lifelong journey into self-actualization. Sarah outlines the integration of three realms that will anchor this journey to open pathways of expansive intimacy and honesty, before diving into how this work sets you up for being able to show up fully and authentically with others. Hear how knowing yourself involves giving all your desires and feelings permission to exist, and the importance of finding a community that supports this work. We finally look at what is involved in a conversation where you are bringing having ethical non-monogamous sex to the table. This conversation is rich beyond measure and speaks directly to the soul of every being who lives in relation to others. We dearly hope you can join us.

Key Points From This Episode:

● An introduction to today's topic: the Celebrity Hall Pass.

● Our guest Sarah Marshank kicks us off with the definition of ‘monogamish’.

● Unpacking the two different things of being intimate and being sexual.

● Establishing the intimacy part so that you can show up honestly with your feelings and desires.

● How dealing with feelings of ‘not-enoughness’ and jealousy is very individually specific.

● Sarah shares how she and Steven embody radical intimacy and good communication.

● How the foundational importance of knowing yourself is not a static thing.

● About ‘Selfistry’ and organically unpacking its two realms: spirit and psyche.

● Excavating and replacing the belief systems that we've inherited that aren't really ours.

● The reality that we're all living a spiritual life, whether consciously or unconsciously.

● Hear the Copernicus story about reorienting your human experience of ‘self’ and ‘no-self’.

● Approaching the disorientating integration of ‘no-self’ with grace and support.

● Talking about ‘witness consciousness’ and the nuanced guidance of Ram Dass.

● Hear the incredible story of Ram Dass's personal support of Sarah's work and book.

● How we can invite in a foundation intimacy that honors everybody.

● Finding your community to walk the road of self-exploration alongside each other.

● Navigating what to do when you want to have sex with someone else.

● Giving unconditional permission for all your wants, desires, an