How to reduce 'stress' in relationships

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

#Personal #Confidence #Self #Esteem #Fitness #Kain Ramsay #Coaching #After Life

27:52

We made it— 300 episodes of This Is Woman’s Work ! And we’re marking this milestone by giving you something that could seriously change the game in your business or career: the skill of pitching yourself effectively. Whether you’re dreaming of being a podcast guest, landing a speaking gig, signing a client, or just asking for what you want with confidence—you’re already pitching yourself, every day. But are you doing it well? In this milestone episode, Nicole breaks down exactly how to pitch yourself to be a podcast guest … and actually hear “yes.” With hundreds of pitches landing in her inbox each month, she shares what makes a guest stand out (or get deleted), the biggest mistakes people make, and why podcast guesting is still one of the most powerful ways to grow your reach, authority, and influence. In This Episode, We Cover: ✅ Why we all need to pitch ourselves—and how to do it without feeling gross ✅ The step-by-step process for landing guest spots on podcasts (and more) ✅ A breakdown of the 3 podcast levels: Practice, Peer, and A-List—and how to approach each ✅ The must-haves of a successful podcast pitch (including real examples) ✅ How to craft a pitch that gets read, gets remembered, and gets results Whether you’re new to pitching or want to level up your game, this episode gives you the exact strategy Nicole and her team use to land guest spots on dozens of podcasts every year. Because your voice deserves to be heard. And the world needs what only you can bring. 🎁 Get the FREE Podcast Pitch Checklist + Additional Information on your Practice Group, Peer Group, and A-List Group Strategies: https://nicolekalil.com/podcast 📥 Download The Podcast Pitch Checklist Here Related Podcast Episodes: Shameless and Strategic: How to Brag About Yourself with Tiffany Houser | 298 How To Write & Publish A Book with Michelle Savage | 279 How To Land Your TED Talk and Skyrocket Your Personal Brand with Ashley Stahl | 250 Share the Love: If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music…

for 11 år siden 24:02

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“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” C Jung Relationships are the 'Cornerstone' of life and no matter what we say or think about them, we all need and crave them. It's not those superficial or meaningless relationships we crave, but the ones of meaning and depth in which we are able to be free and fully be ourselves. These kinds of relationships can be few and far between! In this Lecture I've attempted to illustrate where the stress that many of us experience in the context of our relationships can stem from. When we place expectations on other people (either too high or too low) we are fundamentally judging them which can always be felt and will generally always be responded to in ways that will very seldom met our personal standards. Learning to manage our expectations of others is key to the development of healthier relationships and the condition of our very own mental and emotional wellbeing. We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different degree's of wrong people. Why is this? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you seek out partners who are wrong in some complementary way. But it takes a lot of living to fully understand your own wrongness. And it isn’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems (the ones that make you who you are) that you’re ready to find your lifelong mate. We can only begin to reduce the stress in our relationships when we fully realise and accept that no-one is perfect and everyone has a different story to tell. It's in understanding these stories that develop the understanding and trust that the healthiest relationships are built upon. Kain http://www.kainramsay.com

53 episoder

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

How to reduce 'stress' in relationships

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

published for 11 år siden

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MP3•Episode hjem

53 episoder

#Personal #Confidence #Self #Esteem #Fitness #Kain Ramsay #Coaching #After Life

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Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Life's Greatest Risk: Just Be Yourself Part 4 19:30

for 10 years siden19:30

19:30

“Waking up to who you actually are (Self Concept) requires you to begin letting go of whoever it is that you imagine yourself to be (Self Esteem).” I’ve heard the statement “just be yourself” so many times throughout my life. It sounds like such an amazingly simple thing to do, but in all honestly, it's taken me YEARS to be able to fully understand what this means. In my quest for answers I’ve found that it is very much possible to just be yourself. The person who is a jerk to others and the person who is afraid of social situations are, in actuality, not being themselves. Their real self is just being covered up with their pre-conditioned and fear-based thinking - of not being good enough at simply being themselves. Our true self is who we really are when we let go of all of the stories, labels, and judgments that we have placed upon ourselves. It is who we naturally are without the masks and pretentiousness. It is who we really are when we let fall to the floor the cloak of other people’s stuff that we have taken on. Everything else that we claim to be when we say, “This is who I am!” is only a story. What you've experienced throughout this course and what I'll also share in this video, are the steps, stories and lessons I've learned that have allowed me to uncover my real nature and authentic self, which was in no way what so ever, even mildly resembled the opinions I developed about myself over the duration and the extent of my lifetime so far ..... I close this course with one final story, I hope you find this insightful ;-)…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Life's Greatest Risk: Just Be Yourself Part 3 15:23

for 10 years siden15:23

15:23

How often do you not say or do something because you're worried about how it'll be perceived? For most of us, myself included, this happens more often then we'd like to admit. We live in a culture that is starving for authenticity. We want our leaders, our co-workers, our family members, our friends, and everyone else we interact with to tell us the truth and to be themselves. Most important, we want to have the personal freedom and confidence to say, do, and be who we really are, without worrying so much about how we appear to others and what they might think or say about us. Sadly, however, even though we may say we want to live in a way that is true to our deepest passions, beliefs, and desires; most of us don't and it's not that easy. We've been taught by our parents, teachers, spouses, friends, co-workers, politicians, the media, and others, that it's more important to be liked and to fit in than it is to be who we truly are. In addition, many of us assume that who we are is not good enough and therefore we're constantly trying to fix ourselves, or to act like others who we think are better than us. However, as the famous 19th century poet Oscar Wilde suggested, "Just Be yourself, as everyone else is already taken!" I know that this video will inspire you ...…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Life's Greatest Risk: Just Be Yourself Part 2 16:24

for 10 years siden16:24

16:24

If you don’t believe it yourself, don’t ask anyone else to do so! It is virtually impossible not to transmit your doubts and insecurities to others through body language, tone of voice, inflection, word choice, and other subtle characteristics. When you show by your actions that you lack self-confidence, other people also begin to doubt your ability to perform even the most insignificant of tasks. To gain the respect and confidence of others, begin by making a list of all the attributes that make you who you are, followed by the areas you could do with some work in! Make a conscious effort to build upon your positive strengths and simply improve on your weaknesses (if they're even important). It may not be easy, but if you assess yourself objectively and persevere in your efforts, you will eventually prevail .... like my wife Karen, If in this video you think that she looks confident - I can guarantee you that she wasn't, but simply done what she had to do anyway. Feal the fear and do it anyway!…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Life's Greatest Risk: Just Be Yourself Part 1 15:04

for 10 years siden15:04

15:04

Don’t look to the stars for the cause of your misfortunes: look to yourself to get better results. There are many things you cannot control, but you can control the only things that really matter: your mind and your attitude. External forces have very little to do with success. Those who program themselves for success find a way to succeed even in the most difficult of circumstances. Solutions to most problems come from one source and one source alone: yourself. Living life to the fullest is a lot like shooting the rapids in a rubber raft. Once you’ve made the commitment, it’s difficult to change your mind, turn around, and paddle upstream to placid waters. But it’s the excitement and adventure that make it all worthwhile. If you never make the attempt, you may never know the depths of despair, but neither will you experience the exhilaration of success.…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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How to become an Emotional Time traveller 12:48

for 10 years siden12:48

12:48

Human beings possess the unique ability to engage in emotional time travel, mentally fast forwarding through time to envision how they will feel in future situations. Emotional time travel is not without its pitfalls. At the most obvious level, people may make inaccurate predictions about how they will feel in a situation because the situation unfolds differently than they expect. Yet, even if the situation people experience objectively matches the situation they imagined, people face a fundamentally different psychological situation when they experience an event than when they imagine it. The failure to recognise this can lead onto a wide variety and array of unwise and ill informed decisions. People's predictions about how they will feel in the future shape many of their decisions, though under certain conditions people place surprisingly little weight on their affective forecasts in decision-making. Supporting the validity of decisions that are based on affective forecasts, most studies suggest that forecasts do reliably predict experiences. I hope that you find this video enlightening!…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Emotional Management Techniques 15:57

for 10 years siden15:57

15:57

For many people, emotions can be an inconsistent daily NIGHTMARE that we often just don’t know what to do with or how to handle. So we turn to the only strategies we do know. If you’re a man, you might distract yourself by playing video games, building something new or even by going to the pub or the gym, and if you’re a woman, you might head to the shops or eat a whole load of chocolate! Turning to these things occasionally is OK, but making them part of your regular coping repertoire might not be overly effective for you. Emotions are valuable, and offer a number of benefits (even the bad ones). Once we’re able to process and cope with them effectively, we can learn a lot about our needs and ourselves. Emotions send us important messages and help us connect with others and also keep us on the ‘right track’ throughout life. Using unhealthy strategies can sabotage our relationships, our careers and even our health, in fact, it’s been scientifically suggested that people who handle stress effectively even have far healthier immune systems! All emotions fall into one of 4 categories: anxiety, sadness, anger and happiness. With anxiety, your mind lights up all the with “What if’s?” What if I lose my job? What if I don’t meet someone? What if I fail my test? Anxiety comes from the thoughts you have about the future where in turn you choose to base your emotions upon something that hasn’t even happened yet. With sadness, you will be focusing on negative memories and thoughts about the past. With anger, your thoughts are focused on how you or your values have been attacked, and with happiness, your thoughts are focused on what you’ve either gained or already achieved. In the following two video’s, I’m hoping to be able to enhance your understanding of exactly how your emotions work, where they come from, and in turn how you can manage them more effectively. I've also made them available in MP3 format for you download and listen to again as often as you need to.…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Self Esteem V's Self Concept (How to make true Progress in life) 17:27

for 10 years siden17:27

17:27

Your self concept (or self image) is the sum total of all the knowledge and information that you currently have about yourself - it's the person you know you can be, could be, ought to be and want to be. It includes things like your gender, name, personality, physical appearance, race, likes and dislikes, beliefs, values, social history, nationality, schooling, family, career, accomplishments, failures, skills and talents. Your self-concept also includes who you think you might become and what you believe you were like in the past. It is an idea or image of yourself that comes from what you know about yourself and what you believe others think about you. Your Self Concept answers the all important question: Who am I? Your self concept includes the information about yourself that only you know, such as your motives, your agenda's, your achievements and your failures. Your Self Concept incorporates your values and plays a fundamental role in determining how you really feel about something (in spite of what you do or say) and what your intentions are when doing or saying something. No-one else could ever possibly know these things but you. Your self esteem is whether you believe that all these things add up to something good, bad, worthy or unworthy. It's how you rate what you know about yourself. It is sometimes called your self-evaluation and will always determine how it is that you feel about yourself and whether you believe that you are OK or not. Your Self Esteem answers the question: Am I good enough? When you know that who you are is bigger than just the set of ideas you hold about yourself you begin to see that you can change these ideas. You can change ideas (and actions) that result in poor self esteem, to ideas (and actions) that strengthen self esteem. When you bring your actions, thoughts and emotions into alignment your self esteem grows still further. Your current self image is just a collection of ideas and thoughts that you've had over the years that have led you to a conclusion about whether you are good enough or otherwise. How you rate these ideas (self esteem) is entirely up to you. In this video, you'll learn the difference between self esteem and self concept and also, how in turn you can use this information to make progress in your life, for the rest of your life.…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Inside Out Living: Part 3 13:37

for 10 years siden13:37

13:37

Every day of our lives, we are being constantly programmed (taught, influenced, impacted and conditioned) by the world alongside everyone and everything that lives in it. Our beliefs are always being moulded and manipulated (for better or for worse) by other people in their attempts to have us ‘join their team’ without us even being aware of it. Most of our beliefs are formed over many years, which is why they can become such a firmly entrenched and non-negotiable part of our mental and emotional DNA. And a lifetime of being taught a certain message or philosophy can makes it extremely difficult for us to consider any other degree of reality other than the one we have already accepted to be true. When considering to believe anything else other than what we already do, (another version of truth, an alternative option, a new way of living, thinking, seeing or believing) we’ll often need to question what it is that we’ve believed for however long we’ve been believing it - and this can really take us out of our comfort zones! As a therapist and counsellor I’ve worked with people who can become very angry when I question or challenge whatever it is that they believe. I’m not suggesting for a moment here that I’d ever criticise their beliefs; however I do ask very practical, logical, thought provoking and intelligent questions that require some serious reflection time. For someone to even contemplate that the beliefs they’ve held onto for years may be inaccurate, is to completely rattle this person’s entire state of personal existence. And this will often hurt. And this will always invoke some form of reaction (usually anger). I'll be talking about how we understand our emotions more effectively in a later video though!…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Inside Out Living: Part 2 12:05

for 10 years siden12:05

12:05

Would you like to experience a deeper clarity of who you are and peace and freedom for within, even in the midst of what may be highly challenging circumstances? The Inside Out Revolution offers an understanding of how life works in a way that turns more traditional forms of psychology on its head. This revolutionary approach explains where our feelings come from (whether good or bad), and how our experience of life can change for the better within only a few moments. Understanding these principles allows you to tap into the deeper intelligence behind life, access your natural wisdom and guidance, and unleash your limitless creative power. You'll be able to live with less stress, greater ease and a sense of connection to the larger unfolding of life. The content of these three video’s have been adapted from the books; The Inside Out Revolution by Michael Neill, and The OZ Principles, by Roger Connors, Tom Smith and Craig Hickman. Are you ready to begin part 2?…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Inside Out Living: Part 1 12:56

for 10 years siden12:56

12:56

Is there anyone occupying a space in your head that they haven’t paid any rent for? If your peace of mind and your achievements in life are dependent upon someone else’s actions, that person is in complete control of you and you have freely given them your power. The same principle applies to our expectations of money, materialistic possessions and promotions at work, status, rank or our achievements and failures. How many environmental circumstances and situations play a frequent role in determining your emotional wellbeing? Because we’ve been conditioned from birth to believe in the myth of an outside-in world, we assume the path back to well-being and joy and peace of mind must be through getting a better job or a better partner or working on becoming a better person. The irony is that the harder we work on changing ourselves in order to change the way we feel, the more distant we become from our true self, and the more important it seems to work on all those things on the outside of ourselves. As a result, the more lost and insecure we become. So, regardless of what ‘problem’ we think we have, our only real problem is feeling cut off from the truth about ‘who we ACTUALLY are’. And the moment we reconnect to that fundamental truth, our problems stop being so problematic and we become able to move forward in life on a whole new level. The formula is simple: your thoughts lead to your feelings, your feelings lead to your actions and your actions produce your results. The content of these three video’s have been adapted from the books; The Inside Out Revolution by Michael Neill, and The OZ Principles, by Roger Connors, Tom Smith and Craig Hickman.…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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The parts that make you YOU! 16:23

for 10 years siden16:23

16:23

One way to grasp an understanding of how we are made is to be able to recognise that there are three parts of us, which are all perfectly interconnected. Firstly, we have a material part, which prevents our blood, bones and organs from simply becoming a pile of ‘mush’ on the floor, we call this our Body. However we also have two immaterial parts, which we’d call our soul (where the thoughts come in) and our spirit (which gives us our conscience). The following is my best possible effort at explaining our design and how the Spirit, Soul and Body are all interconnected. Indeed, we are a race of cleverly constructed and highly complex beings! Our Body It’s by our Body that we function. It’s made up of organs and cells, which consist of proteins, carbohydrates and fats. Our body contains our nervous system with nerves and the brain. It’s through our bodies that we connect to the physical world with our five senses (seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling and feeling). The science is clear. Stress, especially that which stems from feeling of low confidence and low self esteem, is not good for your body. Most people have no idea how adversely stress affects us physically. The American Psychological Association estimates that 75 – 90% of visits to doctor’s offices are related to issues of psychological stress and insecurity. Behavioural Symptoms of Stress Many people turn to food as a way to cope with stress. Others turn to the use of drugs. Some turn to alcohol. Still others light up a cigarette. Some burn the midnight oil surfing the Internet and pay for it the next day because they have had inadequate sleep. These are various coping mechanisms that people often turn to in an effort to cope with the stress or challenges in their lives. Independent of our behaviour stress can affect our body physically and cognitively. Our Soul Our Soul is what gives us our personality and it’s also through the Soul that we learn to interpret the world and our experiences. Our soul has three major components to it; our mind, our will and our emotions. Our mind has a conscious part and a subconscious part. The conscious mind is where we do our thinking and reasoning. The sub-conscious mind is where we hold our deep beliefs and our attitudes. It’s also where we have feelings (our emotions) and retain our memories. Our will (free will) is what gives us the ability to make choices and either react or respond to the circumstances and situations that we find ourselves in. Through a very complex way which scientist have attempted to understand for centuries, our mind, our will and our emotions ARE connected to the body through our endocrine, nervous and immune systems, however they are still trying to understand HOW! “The mind and body communicate constantly. What the mind thinks, perceives, and experiences is sent from our brain to the rest of the body.” Herbert Benson, M.D Institute for the Mind & Body Our Spirit It’s in our spirit that we find the meaning and the purpose for our life. At the deepest level our spirit gives us meaning and purpose and our spirit enables us to love one another connect with other human beings (the Spirit is where attraction and intimacy comes from). Our spirit gives us intuition between right and wrong (our conscience). Our spiritual health (demonstrated through confidence, self esteem and pride in self) will have a significant impact on our emotional health, which will in turn have a major influence on our physical health. The inter-connection between the spirit, the soul and the body is certainly a complex connection; nevertheless, the connection is very real. The Interaction Between Spirit, Soul and Body Many of us will be influenced by how we handle the stresses that life brings us. If chronic stress is left unchecked, over a period of time our bodies will bare this toll. A strong faith (in God, The Universe or anything/ anyone greater than ourselves) enables us to be able to cope with the challenges that we experience throughout life and enables the impact of these stresses to be of a lesser significance. Without a strong personal faith (in someone or something) we must resort to our own personal resources in order to be able to cope with our current life difficulties. Often we attempt to cope with this stress through addictions and other methods of escape. This behaviour can further exacerbate the effect of stress on our physical health. A strong personal faith can be a resource that helps to manage stress, low confidence and even low self-esteem. Our beliefs and attitudes towards other people and life in general will be determined in a large degree by the extent of our faith; it also plays a major role in our thinking patterns. As I will discuss further in the video’s that follow (The Inside Out Revolution: Parts 1, 2 & 3) our thinking will 100% determine our emotional wellbeing, and our emotional wellbeing has a major impact on our actions and behaviours. It is ultimately our actions and behaviours that determine our life’s outcomes and results – whether good or bad! So in this regard, our thought patterns play a significant role in our emotional and physical health. In this video, I’ll attempt to show you how all of this works ... hopefully!…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Locus of Control - n/a when there's sharks about! 16:14

for 10 years siden16:14

16:14

The Internal Vs. External Locus Of Control People who base their success in life upon their own efforts and believe that they are in complete control of their life outcomes have what we would call an internal locus of control. You might be able to recognize someone with an internal locus of control through his or her relentlessly stubborn and highly driven nature (of which I can often be found guilty). In contrast to this, people who will assign their successes and failures in life to other people, or factors and influences outside of themselves have what we’d call an external locus of control. You’d likely be able to recognize someone with an external locus of control through highly visible insecurity, low confidence and low self-esteem (I lived in this camp for a while but got very bored of it). Let’s say for example that you're the kind of person who has an internal locus of control and you get a promotion at work or achieve some other type of success. You’d most likely assign your achievement to the hard work and efforts you put in. In other words, your success and achievements came as a direct result of your efforts and hard work. If, on the other hand, you had an external locus of control, you might be more inclined to attribute your promotion or achievement to external or environmental factors, such as luck, fate, timing, other people or some type of divine intervention (religious people can be good at this). Let's use the same example and say that you were denied a promotion that you’d worked long hours and very hard for. If your locus of control were internal, you’d be likely to somehow find a way to blame yourself and beat yourself up for this perceived failure. If however, your locus of control were external, you’d find very easy to blame peers, the boss for being and idiot, or any other outside source that was completely beyond your control. Here demonstrates the Victim Mentality! In the story you'll hear in this video - there are sometimes situations which you can find yourself which only 'God Alone' can get you out of! Having a stubborn Internal Locus of Control at times such as these can cause you NO END of internal dialogue and trauma!…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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How NOT to adopt a false sense of security! 12:51

for 10 years siden12:51

12:51

Whether you believe that your self confidence and trust is broken by a loved one having an affair, a destructive addiction, or the departure of someone’s interest in you, it requires a radical shift in your worldview to get things back on track. Emotionally adjusting takes time and energy, but is worth it as it builds maturity and a commitment to being responsible for you. If you have ever truly trusted someone and went on to learn that they weren’t deserving of it, you might be likely to swing to the opposite side of the pendulum and feel wary of everyone. If you have a deep rooted belief that it would be hard to ever trust anyone else 100% again, you’re actually not too far from the truth because you cant. The real task is learning to trust you. Everyone has their own notion of what trust feels like. On some level, trust is having faith in someone else’s ability to truly know and support you. This may mean nurturing, protecting, listening, contributing financially, knowing what you are thinking without you having to say it, anticipating your desires, etc. As you can see, this is a pretty tall order to place on anyone – I mean, would anyone else in this world ever be totally wise to place 100% of their trust in you? Trusting yourself is much harder than handing yourself over to someone else. After all, you came into the world as a helpless infant who needed adult care and attention, so on some very deep level, it’s tempting to want to feel fully nurtured by someone. Since everyone in this world has some degree of abandonment issues, this desire is heightened by the fear that those we love the most will eventually leave. The good news is until you drop the body (as they say in India), you can always count on yourself. It may take a lot of practice to prove to yourself you are truly capable of simply being yourself – especially if you’ve been hurt or rejected by other in the past, but you are! Keep at it and the emotional rewards will accrue, until the day comes where you no longer place your trust and faith in things or people external to you, but base your confidence upon whom you actually are. YOU become the most the most consistent and reliable person that you know, even is no one else in the world were ever wiling to match you!…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Learning how we Learn: Part 2 7:21

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Many people in the world today live out their lives making their daily decisions based upon the decisions they made about themselves years ago. We develop core unconscious beliefs about ourselves as children; it’s in our childhood we determine our self-worth and value, our beliefs about who we are and what defines us – ‘the Glass Ceiling’ as it were, which often, we will often ‘unknowingly’ allow to cap our potential. These beliefs mould us as humans, and give us the rules we live by. Some might say our core education comes from the classroom - but I’m going to suggest that it doesn’t! We receive our primary education from our family experience when we are children – unintentionally we become conditioned to be who we believe ourselves to be, when we don’t conform to our beliefs, we’re out the comfort zone - and this can often be a scary place to be! I can remember getting taken to the circus with my sister when I was small. I hated the clowns with a vengeance; however the animals always fascinated me – particularly the elephants! Elephants are the largest living land animal in the world and can weigh up to 27,000 lbs.! Yet, a single stake and small chain tied around one foot can hold a circus elephant in place. Q) Why? A) When circus elephants are young, the stake and the chain are strong enough to keep them from escaping. Circus elephants are conditioned to believe that they can’t escape - even when they are fully grown adult elephants. When a baby elephant that doesn’t have much strength is tied to a huge metal peg that’s been driven into the ground, he’ll fight it and fight it and fight it until he accepts he isn’t strong enough to pull it out. Eventually he gives up, believing that that he’ll never be strong enough to break free, so he ends up stuck there - stuck in his childhood belief that it doesn’t matter how hard he fights, he’ll never be able to break free from that peg! Well like elephants, WE are conditioned to believe certain ideas, concepts or the virtues of others and then unknowingly, we can allow them to hold us in place! If you can see how this could happen, could it be possibly be a difference between what we believe to be true, and what IS true! That’s all elephant syndrome is just, simply believing something to be true based upon a misconception rather than truth. Are human beings the same? – You bet we are! From a young age we get pegged down and get so used to believing that this is just the way things are, I’ll never be strong enough to break free and be the kind of person I really want to be – WE THEREFORE LIVE A SELF FULFILLING PROPHECY BY BECOMING WHOEVER WE BELIEVE THAT WE ARE. The identity we attached ourselves to becomes the ball and chain around our necks that prevents us from ever becoming the kind of people that we truly want to be – OTHERWISE KNOWN AS A SLAVE or a VICTIM MENTALITY! Although you might not see any limitations you have AS limitations at the moment, you may just have accepted some things to be true about yourself which may not necessarily ever have been true in the first place. Often in life we can become a certain way of being, or act in a certain way so that other people accept us or validate us however the person that we've become may not necessarily be WHO WE ACTUALLY ARE! ... but unfortunately, this is how we learn!…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Learning how we learn: Plato's cave 2014 13:32

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Here's a modern adaptation of a very old story .... And so, a conversation between two of the worlds greatest philosophers, Socrates and Glaucon went something like this .... Socrates: "Why do people think that Personal Development is meaningless? Let me put it this way - imagine you're in a cave, all chained up so you can't turn your body at all, and all you get to look at is this one wall. Some assholes behind you are making shadow puppets using the light from a fire and making echo noises and that's all you or anyone else chained up has seen or heard all your life." "Sounds terrible, right? Except it's all you've ever known, shadows and echoes, and that's your whole world - there's no way you could know that, really, you're watching a slightly-improved M. Night Shyamalan film." "In fact, you get pretty good at understanding how the patterns in the show work, and everyone else chained up is like, 'Holy Cow man, how did you know that that tree was going to fall on that guy?' and you'd say something like, 'It's because I bloomin' well pay attention and I'm pretty darned smart!' You're the smartest of the chained, and they all revere you." Glaucon: "But Socrates, a tree didn't really hit a guy. It's all shadows!" Socrates: "You're absolutely right Glaucon, but you wouldn't know that. You'd think that the shadows are real things. Everyone does. Now shut up and let me finish!" "So eventually, someone comes and unchains you and drags you out of the cave. At first you'd say, 'Seriously, what's going on here?!' Well, actually, at first you'd say, 'HOLY COW, MY EYES' and you'd want to go back to the safe, familiar shadows. But even once your eyes worked you wouldn't believe them, because everything you ever thought was real is gone. You'd look at a tree, and say 'That's not a tree. I know trees. And you, sir, are no tree. THAT DOWN THERE is a tree.' But you're wrong. Down there is a shadow of a tree. "Slowly, as your eyes got better, you'd see more and more real stuff. Eventually, you'd see the sun, and realize that it's the source of all light. You can't see nothing without the sun. And eventually, you'd figure it out. Something would click in your brain: 'Holy Pyjama's, that IS a tree. Well, Blow me over with a bag of potato's! So... nothing in the cave was real? I feel like such an asshole.' But it's not your fault, so don't be so hard on yourself! "Finally you'd want to go down and tell everyone about everything you've discovered. Except, and here's the hilarious part, they think you've gone absolutely crazy. You'd say, 'Guys, real trees on the outside of this cave are green!' and they'd say, 'What's green you CRAZYMAN? THAT's a tree over there on the cave wall!' And you'd squint and look at the wall, but you know you're unable to see properly now that you're back in the cave because you've seen real sunlight, and now you can't see anything. So they'd laugh at you, and agree that wherever it was that you went, no one should go there because it turns people into CRAZIES! Personal Development is kind of the same thing, and in order to grow and develop your confidence, you need to grow and develop as a person. As we grow and develop our understanding of who we truly are and the true nature of everything, we eventually grasp the Idea that Truth gives light to everything else and exposes what's real from what's not. If the person who's ben developing them-self has to go back to the cave and attempt to explain what they have seen to people who don't even know what Green is, they might end up feeling like they don't have as much in common with those people as what perhaps they once did. It wasn't the guy who went outside of the cave who invented the Truth though, it was always there, and the only way to really make sense of it is to uncover it for yourself. You can't force knowledge into a fool any more than you can force sight into a blind man. "So if you want to learn, be prepared for a difficult journey, and be prepared to make some mistakes. That's okay, it's all part of the process. True knowledge must be obtained the hard way, and some people just don't want to see the light." This isn't a new story by the way - it's been about for centuries!…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Solid Grounds: A foundation for life! 19:32

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19:32

FACTS, FAITH or FEELINGS ... What are the foundations of YOUR life? These three things are absolutely vital in determining the quality of our lives. It’s hugely important that we know something about each of them, but it is even more important that we get them in the right order and keep them there. Most people will generally put their feelings first and in turn make the quality of their feelings provide a basis for the quality of their life, but that's like trying to build the roof of a house before laying the foundation. It just won't work that way! The right order is facts, faith and then feelings. Facts form the foundation on which you build your life; your faith rests upon these facts; and your feelings will come last and come as a result of getting the first two in order. Let's look at these, one at a time. First, facts. What is a fact? A fact is something that is true. For example, two plus two equals four. This is a simple mathematical fact. It is true in the United States, in Russia, or anywhere else in the world. It was true thousands of years ago, and it will still be true thousands of years from now. Your believing it does not make it true. It is true even if no one in the world believes it. A fact is true in and out of itself, regardless of faith or feelings. If it is not true, it is not a fact! Now let's think about faith. Whether you have any religious beliefs or whether you don’t, everyone has a certain degree of faith for something in life. But what is faith? Faith is a belief in something. Notice that faith must have an object. In one respect, faith is like eyesight - it must have an object, which can be somehow seen. The way you know you have eyesight is that you see something. True value depends upon its object, not upon itself. It is not the amount of faith that is important but the worthiness of the object. Suppose you are walking through the woods, and you come to a stream. A single plank spans the stream. As you look at the plank, you must decide if you will risk walking across it. You notice that apparently others have crossed safely, so you decide to trust it. The moment you step out on the plank, you are exercising faith. This is fine, but whether you get across safely or not now depends upon the plank. You may have a lot of faith, but if the plank is rotten, you will land in the water! On the other hand, your faith may not be so great, but if you have a good plank under you, you will get across safely. From this, we see that the real value of faith depends upon its object. This is why faith must rest on facts. What about feelings? Where do they come into the picture? Feelings are emotions inside us. Unlike facts, feelings can be very changeable. We may feel good one day and be downcast the next. But regardless of how fickle our feelings are, they do not change facts. For example, suppose you receive a letter from a reputable law firm informing you that your uncle Joe has died and left you two hundred thousand dollars. You might say, "But I don't feel like I have all that money." Perhaps you don't, but, nevertheless, you do have it. It is a fact that the money was left to you, and it is yours regardless of how you feel. Perhaps you go a doctor for an examination, and he tells you that you have cancer. You may say, "But I don't feel like I have cancer." Nevertheless, you do have it. Facts are facts, regardless of how you feel. Now, let's see how facts, faith, and feelings relate to your day-to-day life.…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Steve Covey's: Sharpening the Axe 8:36

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8:36

“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” - Abraham Lincoln The lumberjack story is has been made popular by a reference to it in Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits due to the messages it carries with it. Like many stories this story has a specific meaning, the version I tell in this video carries a key message about the value of continuous personal development and the importance of using our brains sometimes ... opposed to our brawn!…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Identity Crisis: Part 5 8:43

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If you were to begin to define yourself differently, in a way that’s more empowering and accurate for who you are today, how would you describe who you’ve become? If you're unsure of how to even begin answering this question, the video should be able to offer you a few suggestions as to how you can begin doing this today!…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Identity Crisis: Part 4 10:47

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TRUISM: Its tough to enjoy life when you’re not particularly confident in who it is that you are! People who haven't learned to accept and get along with themselves tend to have more difficulty accepting and getting along with others. I personally spent years having a hard time getting along with people, until I eventually grew to realize how the difficulties I had with other people were actually "rooted" in the difficulties I had in accepting myself. A wise man once suggested that “a good tree will bear good fruit, and a rotten tree will bear rotten fruit”. Likewise, the "fruit" of our lives comes from the "root" within us. If you're rooted in shame, guilt, inferiority, rejection, lack of love and acceptance, etc., the fruit of your relationships will suffer. However, once you have a deep revelation of who you actually are (which I’m hoping this course will help you to achieve) and begin to accept yourself and others, eventually these new roots will produce good fruit, and your relationships will begin to thrive (if they aren’t already doing so). Here are a few tips I believe will help you succeed at being yourself. 1. Never say or think negative things about yourself, such as, "I never do anything right." "I'll never change." "I'm ugly." "I look terrible." "I'm dumb." "Who could ever love me?" In other words, the way we talk and think about ourselves reveals how we feel about and view upon ourselves. 3. Never compare yourself with other people. You'll never succeed at being yourself if you're trying to be like someone else. Other people can be a good example to you, but duplicating even their good traits will manifest differently through your own unique and individual personality. 4. Focus on your potential instead of your limitations. Actress Helen Hayes was told early in her career that if she were four inches taller she'd be the greatest actress of her time. Her coaches tried various methods of stretching her, but nothing increased her height. She refused to concentrate on the supposed limitation of being five feet tall and decided to concentrate on her potential. As a result, she was eventually cast as Mary, Queen of Scotland—one of the tallest queens who ever lived. 5. Find something you like to do that you do well, and do it over and over. If you spend your time doing things you're not good at, it'll frustrate you and cause you to feel defeated and unsuccessful. 6. Have the courage to be different and deal with criticism well. If you dare to be different, you'll have to expect some criticism. Going along with the crowd when you know you’re meant to be going a different way is one reason people don't succeed at being themselves. You won't like yourself very much if you go against your own convictions. 7. Don't let the way another person treats you determine your value. 8. Keep your flaws in perspective. People with a high level of confidence have just as many weaknesses as people without confidence, but they concentrate on their strengths - not their flaws or weaknesses! To become more confident in who you are and ultimately become more successful at simply being yourself, unfortunately I have both some good news and some bad news to share with you: I’ll give you the bad news first. To be successful, you will need to work harder than most others. You’ll need to be disciplined enough at times to say “no” to good things so that you can say “yes” to the best. ·You will need to be committed to life-long learning and will often be kept up at night as you carefully consider your options. ·You’ll be forced out of your comfort zone. ·You’ll need a thick skin to ignore the barbs of the cynics. ·And even after you’ve done all of this, there’s no guarantee that everything will work out according to plan. But there’s good news too. ·Success is not reserved for a select few people, it’s yours for the taking too! ·There are opportunities in front of you that you can pursue. ·The process of moving towards your goals can be as rewarding as achieving them. ·You will be doing something that you love. ·You will become an inspiration for others and be able to utilise your skills to make a positive difference in the world. ·And you’ll find out that the bad news isn’t as dramatic as it seemed to be before you started. My question is, are you more influenced by the good news or the bad news? So. In conclusion, let me remind you of my opening statement: It's tough to enjoy life when you don't like yourself. When you learn to succeed at being yourself, you'll be well on your way to becoming more confident in who you are and also in enjoying life more fully to the max!…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Identity Crisis: Part 3 11:24

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There are two sides of risks. Before Risk (where we find security and safety), and after Risk (where we find a sense of achievement, excitement and freedom). On the before side of Risk, you will experience: * fear * trepidation * hesitation * anxiety * doubt * sweaty palms * excuses * research and analysis, followed by more research and analysis (aka PROCRASTINATION) * the status quo * temporary comfort * a dead-end job On the after side of risks, you will find: * glory * victory * elation * the exhilaration of truly living * satisfaction * faith in the miraculous * confidence * resilience * learning * courage to do it again * the opportunity to live your purpose Did you now, we ALL have the same choices in life? We can live on the before side of risks where we never take advantage of the opportunities to do something significant, meaningful or challenging with our lives. It's in this place that we'll often find ourselves making excuses and concocting seemingly reasonable explanations for living an ordinary life. It's in this place that we paddle in the shallow water with every other person who is bound by fear. Or we can choose to push through the risk and see life on the after side. This is the side where we can utilise our talents, make a difference and reflect on a life well lived. This is also the side where every now and then we wonder what all of the fuss was about and when we realise that most of the dramatic consequences of taking risks were just figments of our imagination. The side where we understand that we don’t get the courage we need beforetaking risks, we get it after we took the risk, building our faith and preparing us for the next one. Which side are you on? Which side should you be on? What risks do you need to take in order to feel FREE? JUST DO IT ....…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Identity Crisis: Part 2 9:46

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Some of the world’s greatest architects might suggest that the greatest prisons are those that have been built of cast Iron, reinforcement and concrete. However, I’m going to suggest that the most enslaving prison man can be kept in — is the prison of his own mind, the prison of his beliefs, the limitations of his thinking, and the nature of his own relative subjectivity. The mind can be humanities own worst enemy with it’s self defeating conversations with itself alongside its limited understanding of how we can most effectively pursue the things that we want most in life. There was an ancient Greek Philosopher called Plato, who over 1500 years ago made an interesting statement in one of the things that we can often value the most in life …. our opinions! You can become as successful in the eyes of society as you like, however if you commit to travelling down this road — don’t expect to experience the depth of FREEDOM, PEACE and JOY that you TRULY hope for in life as societies rules won’t give your life meaning, purpose, lasting happiness, or a real sense of personal success. Now I’m no mathematician, but to close I wanted to offer you two different equations. One of which you’ll already be living by, and only one of them will set you free to be truly successful … a) What I do + How well I do what I do = Who I am, or: b) Who I am + How I am who I am = What I do One of these equations will keep you in the prison of ‘not being good enough yet’, and the other will allow you to live a full, vibrant, exciting and fulfilling life of purpose. My friends, the choice is yours!…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Identity Crisis: Part 1 17:49

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Many people in the world of business and in life choose to ignore the value and importance of personal authenticity. Companies will invest hundreds of thousands of dollars, even millions, to portray themselves as creative and as glamorous to consumers and on an individual basis, millions of people all around the world will attempt to portray themselves across the social media's as far more enhances versions of themselves than what they actually are. The increased number of people who use social media today, however, enables most of us to see through this. It is the transparent and authentic people today who experiencing more success, and as the world becomes more desperate to separate what's genuine from whats not, this norm will only become more entrenched. Authenticity, along with awareness and attitude make up his three-ingredient recipe to happiness. Actress Meryl Streep once encouraged the students in a presentation she delivered to embrace themselves and the skills that they possess right now in the present opposed to looking off to some far away and distant day in the future when they will somehow be and feel 'good enough'. We live in a time where such a wide range of skills are valued and it is crucial that people appreciate and leverage what they have. The importance of authenticity is absolutely crucial when determining your degree of personal confidence and feelings of self esteem. Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, But Today is a gift, so use it!…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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A Strategy for Life: Part 2 8:46

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In order to act, you must have a purpose. If you want to act successfully in all but the most mundane affairs, you must embrace that purpose with a burning desire. Many people think they want to be successful, but since they do not back that thought with an intense drive, they never achieve success. Cultivate your desire. Feed it with thoughts of yourself enjoying whatever it is you seek. It’s like stoking the furnace of a steam engine. You need to build up enough pressure to carry yourself over hills; if your desire doesn’t burn hotly enough, you’ll find yourself stalled and rolling backwards. The secret to action is a red-hot desire. ‘It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.’ - Alan Cohen…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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A Strategy for Life: Part 1 10:39

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10:39

The thing about kids is that they often don't develop their fears and insecurities until they've been TAUGHT how by their 'often' insecure parents. Sure, some of the kids already have more natural ability than others, but from between the years of birth to around about 6 - 7 years of age, everyone is at the same starting line. It is only as we get older (more mature, wiser, longer in the tooth and 'experienced') that we begin putting people into buckets. i.e. He’s a marketing guy. She went to a Private School. He's a Banker. She's Gay. He's Fat. She's Rich. He's poor ... and you can probably begin to see where this is going. It’s hard to believe that ALL people are still at the starting line in terms of their potential at ALL times! Everyone has the ability to do whatever they want to do in life, but only IF they have a strong enough DESIRE to find a STRATEGY that'll get them there!…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Low Confidence - You are not alone! 10:46

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(Snippet taken from an article written by Lynn Hirschberg for Vanity Fair magazine in 1991) In 1990, Forbes estimated Madonna's pre-tax income to be $39 million (and her earnings since 1991 at $125 million); her Blond Ambition tour sold out in twenty – seven cities; her concert on HBO was the highest-rated non-sports event ever on that network; and her albums went double-platinum. “But at what cost?” asks Christopher Ciccone, who was the art director of Madonna's Blond Ambition tour that same year. “People who don’t think the controversies and the press affect her are wrong. She doesn’t work up a strategy for all this attention. It’s just who she is and what she does. And there is definitely a cost.” Which isn’t to say that Madonna has any real regrets. Or, to he exact, “I have so many,” she says, “and I have none. I wish I hadn’t done a lot of things, but, on the other hand, if I hadn’t I wouldn’t be here.” She pauses. “But, then again, nobody works the way I work.” It’s that discipline, matched with talent, drive and ambition, that propels her: “I have an iron will,” she says, eating her Caesar. “And all of my will has always been to conquer some horrible feeling of inadequacy. I’m always struggling with that fear. I push past one spell of it and discover myself as a special human being and then I get to another stage and think I’m mediocre and uninteresting. And I find a way to get myself out of that. Again and again. My drive in life is from this horrible fear of being mediocre. And that’s always pushing me, pushing me. Because even though I’ve become Somebody. I still have to prove that Somebody. My struggle has never ended and it probably never will.” Does this sound like ANYONE YOU KNOW? I've included a link to the full article in the supplementary materials section for those who'd like to read further.…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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The Power of Choice 16:09

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Perhaps the most powerful influences in your relationships, on your attitude and in your personality is what you say and believe about yourself in private. It is not what happens to you in life that’s important, but how you respond internally to the situation you find yourself in and what happens to you, that determine your thoughts and feelings, mind power, and, ultimately the actions you take in life. By learning to police your thoughts and control your inner dialogue, or “self-talk,” you can begin to assert control over every other dimension of your life. You are continually faced with challenges and difficulties, with problems and disappointments, with temporary setbacks and defeats — virtually every problem you face in life will have a relational component to it. Problems are an unavoidable and inevitable part of being human. But, as you learn to draw upon your natural and instinctive innate resources to respond effectively to each challenge, you grow and become a stronger, bolder and more confident person. In fact, without those setbacks, you could not have learned what you needed to know and developed the qualities of your character to where they are today. Whatever problems or setbacks you experience in life have been faced by someone else, somewhere else and at some other time — there are countless numbers of people who haven’t yet experienced your setbacks that when they do, would hugely value and appreciate someone just like you, to guide them through their problems in the way that you’re currently learning to overcome yours. Much of your ability to succeed comes from the way you deal with life. One of the characteristics of superior men and women is that they recognise the inevitability of temporary disappointments and defeats, and they accept them as a normal and natural part of life. They do everything possible to avoid problems, but when problems come, superior people learn from them, rise above the, and continue onward in the direction of their dreams.…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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The Answer you've always wanted! 8:41

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Here is one of my favourite inspirational tales and I hope you find it insightful: It wasn't long after the Gods had created humankind that they very soon realised that they had made a huge mistake. The creatures that they had created were so adept, so skilful, so full of curiosity and the spirit of enquiry that it was only a matter of time before they would start to challenge the Gods themselves for supremacy. To ensure their pre-eminence, the Gods held a large conference to discuss the issue. Gods were summoned from all over the known and unknown worlds. The debates were long, detailed, and soul-searching, and lasted well into the night. They were all unanimous about one thing. What differentiated the Gods from the mortals that they had created were the differences between the quality of the resources they had. While humans had their egos and were concerned with the external, material aspects of the world, the Gods had spirit, soul, and an understanding of the workings of the inner self. The Gods realised that sooner or later the humans would want some of that too. And so the Gods decided to hide their precious resources. The question was: where? This was the reason for the length and passion of the debates at the Great Conference of the Gods. Some suggested hiding these resources at the top of the highest mountain. But it was realised that sooner or later the humans would scale such a mountain. And the deepest crater in the deepest ocean would be discovered. And mines would be sunk into the earth. And the most impenetrable jungles would give up their secrets. And mechanical birds would explore the sky and space. And the moon and the planets would become tourist attractions. And even the wisest and most creative of the Gods fell silent as if every avenue had been explored and found wanting. Where on earth could they hide these precious resources? And then, the Littlest God, who had been silent until now, spoke up. "Why don't we hide these resources inside each human? They will never think to look for them there." And so they did ... and the story ends there! So often in life we don't ever think about looking at our own resources, or those of those we're close to for hope, encouragement or a little bit of inspiration .... but when we do, when we begin to really recognise and acknowledge what we actuall DO have (rather than what we DONT) we'll often find everything we could possibly need and MORE!…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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How to become qualified in Confidence! 9:30

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We all think that we'd know confidence if we saw it ... right? Isn't it what the person who speaks first and longest at the office meeting has? Isn't it what your friend who always seems so sure of their opinions has? Despite common cultural beliefs and opinions, Confidence isn’t about throwing your weight around or talking over people or always being the first to jump in. Confidence isn’t an attitude at all. You know that old expression about something being all in your head? Well, when it comes to confidence the opposite is true. Confidence is about the actions you take and NOT about the postures you strike! Having confidence is taking action. We all want to do or try certain things but fear they are just beyond our reach and yet we worry about failing. Those nerves are normal – everyone has them. The difference between a confident person and an unconfident person is simply that the confident person acts on their ambitions and desires and who does let that fear of failure stop them. And the notion of confidence as action is a virtuous circle. The more we act, the more our confidence grows. We try something, and the next time round we feel a little bit easier about trying it again. Even if we fail we have learned something valuable, namely that taking the risk of trying didn’t kill us. That’s useful, confidence building knowledge. I've spent a long time trying to define confidence for you, although you may not be able to fully grasp this yet - I'm hoping that by the end of this course you'll have NAILED it! Confidence is life’s enabler – it is the quality that turns thoughts into action.…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Practice doesn't make perfect - but it does make Permanent! 11:08

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Confidence is one of those rare commodities that successful people seem to have in spades, but then there are people who are very low in self-belief and who struggle to get anywhere in life. As I considered how to get more confidence and better results, I wondered to myself, “What comes first?” Do you need confidence to get results? Or do you feel good about yourself because things have gone well for you? And what if you lack both, so you don’t know where to start? As I began to consider my own past, I was able to remember times when my confidence enabled me to achieve some very great things ... and then there were times when my confidence was built upon the results that I saw at that exact point and time in my life. My confidence has enabled me to perform well in interviews, speak with passion in front of hundreds of people and build rapport with clients. And every time I’ve done well in any of these circumstances, my self belief has gone up. So what’s the answer? Some will claim one or the other, but I suspect that both are true and they are intertwined. That’s all well and good, but what if you lack confidence and struggle to get the results that you want from life? Here are a couple of tips just to get us warmed up .... Fake it until you make it – I love this saying as it describes the process of building self-confidence. By modelling the body language of confident people, you can generate enough positive thoughts about yourself to get started. When you feel low in confidence and have a big moment coming up, don’t sit there with your shoulders slumped, head down and arms crossed. Instead, lift your head, put your shoulders back, breathe deeply and perhaps even smile a bit. If it helps, try to recall a time when you were right on your game and let that memory build your confidence so that you can get out there and perform at an outstanding level. Build momentum slowly – If you’re looking for great outcomes in life but don’t have the poise to go after them yet, start smaller. You may have 10 sales per day as a measure of success, and feel demoralised when you don’t reach it, so aim for one or two. You may want to shoot 80 on the golf course and think that you’re useless if you can’t, so why not aim for 90 instead and feel good about your progress when you get there. Set yourself small, achievable goals that you can build from. As you reach each target, celebrate your achievement and aim a little higher. And as you see your results improve, you’ll notice that your confidence is rising as well. Confidence and results. They walk hand in hand. If you have one, you’ll generally get the other and if you’re missing one, the other will be hiding as well. So don’t worry about what comes first and wish that it would magically appear, take action, get one and the other will follow.…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Introduction to the ULTIMATE Confidence Building Programme 4:13

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The ULTIMATE Confidence Coaching Program has been specifically designed in view of empowering you to maximise your personal confidence, transform the quality of your relationships, enhancing your communication skills with others and increase your Self-Esteem by giving you deep insights into who you truly are. This High Impact Coaching program will enable you to achieve the life results you really want by teaching you life changing truths and principles that if you apply, stand to completely transform everything about your life! Over the next 40 lessons (or 8 hours), you’ll grow to understand how to become a far more effective version of you, living with deeper authenticity, far more inner peace and more passion for life that you may even have thought possible. We’ll explore your hidden treasures and work towards shifting your perception of yourself to a far higher level that will enable you to know how your personal values determine you actions, experiences and life’s outcomes. Together we'll shift any negative perceptions you have of yourself, whilst sharpening your focus towards what you truly want from life in a way that’ll enable you to live with more direction, boldness, confidence and purpose! Your beliefs in life define you. So the beliefs and behaviours you display might not always help you in achieving the lifestyle that you hope for. As you progress through the program, you’ll discover new resources that will allow you to FEEL more empowered in a way that will allow you to achieve a far greater degree of confidence and happiness throughout ALL the most important areas of your life. So, throughout this ULTIMATE Confidence Coaching Program, expect your heart and mind to be taken on an journey that will completely resolve your inner conflicts in a way that will allow you to begin living more authenticity, more confidently and intimacy with others with a far deeper passion for life than what you may previously have believed possible.…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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For 'Singles' who don't wanna' to be 'Single' no more 13:26

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The single life can be either be one of liberation, excitement and creativeness - or one of desperation, anxiety and full of fear of being 'left on the shelf'. In this closing and penultimate podcast of the Relationship Coaching series I've been doing, I've focussed primarily on the singles by offering a message of hope and challenge for moving forward with more passion, vigour and anticipation for what will some day be your turn. Enjoy! I'll look forward to starting the next programme next week which will be themed 'The Ultimate Personal Development Programme'. If you've enjoyed the last 20 podcasts, I know you will LOVE the next 20! Kain http://www.kainramsay.com…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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The penultimate principle for Building Relationships that last ... or is it? 9:48

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Over the last few months I have released these podcasts, centred around the theme of Relationships, how to get the most from them, how to enhance them, and how to build them based upon foundations that will outlast the test of time. This may be the last in this series, although it also may not be - I might have one FINAL bonus audio for you next week to 'wrap' everything up for one final time. It would be great to hear your thoughts and any questions you have about the last 18 podcasts I've produced and I'll do my very best to respond to as many as possible. I'll look forward to hearing from you, Kain http://www.kainramsay.com…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Your time for change is NOW 7:18

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If you decided that you wanted to go back to education and train to become a pilot, would you expect to have a few years of hard work to do? It's highly probable that you would, and I'm also presuming that you know it would take at least 5 years of commitment and dedication to achieve these qualifications and reach the level of skill necessary for you to fly a passenger filled aircraft! What about if you decided that you wanted to be able to play the violin at orchestra standard? Again, it might take many years of practice to be able to fine tune your skills. Reaching these kinds of standards would require a level of dedication and perseverance that most people would never choose to commit to. Not too many people would argue that to become a pilot or a talented musician takes practice and that it does not come in a week or a month but can take decades for them to really reach the top of their chosen profession. Yet why do so many people think mastering themselves and their lives should be so easy? I was recently given some advice that the video's I produce should only be between 2 - 5 minutes in length as 'these days', peoples attention spans are short and that unless I am able to deliver life changing principles in minutes, I would struggle to keep peoples interest. Unfortunately, I didn't become a self aware and mature adult as a result of a two minute and high energy video. Self-development for me has been a life long process. Throughout this course I have tried to present crucial life principles and the transformational insights I have learned over a lifetime into what I hope has been both an enjoyable and entertaining (at times) Ultimate Relationship Coaching Programme. Transforming both of our lives and our relationships will never be a quick fix, and it may even take you months or years to understand how to apply some of the principles that I've shared. However ... there is no time like the present to begin making those changes. You can wait for someone else or for something else to do all the changing and hope that somehow, things might just miraculously begin working out in the way that you hope for ... OR, you can grab the 'bull by the horns' and begin applying what I've shared throughout this course, in the context of your most important relationships today! The time for change is NOW. Kain http://www.kainramsay.com…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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Get MOVING: Where the rubber hits the road! 7:26

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This is a practical exercise which gives you an opportunity to consider and apply some of the key principles and stories I've shared throughout this Ultimate Relationship Coaching Programme. It would be great to get your feedback on the changes you intend to make and also about your overall thoughts on the entire programme. I'll look forward to hearing from you soon, Kain http://www.kainramsay.com…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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How to Build Relationships of greater depth & meaning 16:57

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Some of the biggest challenges we can face in our relationships stem from the fact that many people enter into a relationship motivated by what they can get and attempting to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take. I've never met anyone who's ever claimed to be content with surface level, shallow or superficial relationships and in this video I hope to explain why. All of our relationships go through a series of 6 stages, with each one of these stages building upon the last. It is my hope that by you growing to understand the 5 stages that relationships go through, you will be better equipped and prepared to navigate through these stages more effectively without unnecessarily getting "stuck" in any of them which can limit the depths and meaning that potentially your relationships may reach. In the video I have attempted to demonstrate the process of which healthy relationships are formed, by progressing through the following stages: The Superficiality Stage The Attraction (compatibility) Stage The Power Struggle Stage The Stability Stage The Commitment Stage The Intimacy Stage As you'll see in the video, these stages aren't by any means a linear process; but are more like a picture showing the process of relationship development. We all retain the lessons learned in each stage of this process and will naturally bring them forward into new relationships as we grow and develop in maturity. If you've ever experienced a relationship which keeps on coming back to the same old arguments, debates or problems - you may now be able to realise that this is merely the power struggle stage of your relationship that no-one has been able to identify or has known how to overcome until now. Relationships, marriages and friendships are ruined where one person continues to learn, develop and grow in personal maturity whilst the other person stands still and changes nothing. This is one of my favourite lectures, I hope that you find this one particularly useful! http://www.kainramsay.com…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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How to build Stronger Relationships 21:19

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21:19

A strong and healthy relationship can be one of the most effective supports in your life. Good relationships improve all aspects of your life, strengthening your health, your mind, and your connections with others. However, if the relationship isn't working, it can also be a tremendous drain. Relationships are an investment. The more you put in, the more you can get back. Everyone’s relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons. But there are some things that good relationships have in common. Knowing the basic principles of healthy relationships helps keep them meaningful, fulfilling and exciting in both happy times and sad: What makes a healthy love relationship? Staying involved with each other: Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without truly relating to each other and working together. While it may seem stable on the surface, lack of involvement and communication increases distance. When you need to talk about something important, the connection and understanding may no longer be there. Getting through conflict: Some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree. The key in a strong relationship, though, is not to be fearful of conflict. You need to be safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation or insisting on being right. Keeping outside relationships and interests alive: No one person can meet all of our needs, and expecting too much from someone can put a lot of unhealthy pressure on a relationship. Having friends and outside interests not only strengthens your social network, but brings new insights and stimulation to the relationship, too. Communicating: Honest, direct communication is a key part of any relationship. When both people feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, trust and bonds are strengthened. Nonverbal cues—body language like eye contact, leaning forward or away, or touching someone’s arm—are critical to communication. The principles I share in this lecture can help keep a healthy relationship strong, or at least give you a focus for moving forward and closer to your 'ideal'. Kain http://www.kainramsay.com…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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How to stop 'Self Sabotaging' relationships 15:22

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Have you ever found yourself self sabotaging a relationship? And have you ever thought for a moment as to why you would even do this? One of the things that may help you to recognise self-sabotaging behaviour is to recognise that you are actually trying to protect yourself rather than sabotage yourself. We all have a survival part that is programmed into us, psychologists refer to this part of us as our defence mechanisms. They get activated by fear and go into action in the attempts of protecting us from getting hurt. You might find yourself operating from an unhelpful belief that tells you something along the lines of, "I can't deal with emotional pain," so, you end up finding yourself fleeing uncomfortable relationship situations, or engaging in some other self-protective/self-sabotaging behaviour, as if there is a real physical threat, when in reality the only threat is coming from your very own thoughts and beliefs. As I mentioned in on one of the Section One stories, we become who we believe we are and will generally get the results that we believe that we will in life. If you believe that you're useless - you are! If you believe that you're of no value - you'll act accordingly and prove yourself right. If you believe you will fail - you already have done! Human beings 100%% follow through with who it is that they believe they are in life, so a great place to start in view of preventing future self sabotage attempts, get clear on exactly what you can expect from yourself, from others, and how you can compliment another human being to create something greater than what has previously been. This lecture is a 'biggy' so you might want to spend some good time reflecting upon the principles I share in the video - if you have any questions on this lecture, please dont hesitate to get in touch! Kain http://www.kainramsay.com…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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The Catalyst for change in Relationships 14:47

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The core beliefs of many religious groups alongside many of the world's greatest writings and literary works are based upon the ongoing struggle between good and evil that happens inside every one of us and is as old as mankind itself. Yet, while we're generally fully aware of our own personal inner struggles, we can be very quick to condemn others for theirs. Many of the world's greatest Psychologists tell us that there is no such thing as a bad person; there are only bad thoughts, actions and behaviours. Make it a point to search for the best in not just yourself, but also in others. Learn to nurture your best character traits and work on the ones that need improvement. It's only once you have committed to doing this that you become qualified to point out the flaws and imperfections of others - this demands huge amounts of both discipline, and self control! Upon doing this, YOU become the catalyst for positive change in your relationships. Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain. The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a new life. What is it that you could let go of today? Kain http://www.kainramsay.com…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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How to Identify a WRONG relationship 6:32

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'One day you'll find the right person at the right time and place, then wonder why it took you so long to find the right companion when they've been there all along.' Sometimes as you journey through life you can meet the right person at the wrong time for you, and other-times you'll meet the wrong person at a right time. The trick of life is being emotionally available enough to be able to identify the right person at the right time whilst being completely able to understand the difference. Kain http://www.kainramsay.com…

Principles into Practice with Kain Ramsay

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