How to Stop Living for Other People (ft. Ben Nemtin)

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Podcast

Have you ever felt like there’s more to life than the daily grind, like your dreams are buried under all the obligations and expectations life throws at you?

In this episode, we sit down with The Buried Life co-founder and New York Times bestselling author, Ben Nemtin, to explore why so many of us feel disconnected from our true purpose—and how to reclaim it.

For Ben, it all started as a group of friends chasing wild bucket-list dreams and helping strangers achieve their dreams too. In the process, they discovered what it means to give yourself permission to dream and then make those dreams a reality.

We dive deep into the psychology of fear, the power of accountability, and the surprising benefits of doing what you love—not just for yourself, but for everyone around you. We discuss why most people regret not living authentically, how to overcome the social and emotional barriers holding you back, and practical strategies for rediscovering your dreams, even if they’ve been buried for years.

If you’re looking for inspiration to take that first small step toward a life that feels truly yours, this episode will get you there.

Enjoy.

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Ben’s Stuff:

The Bucket List Journal by Ben Nemtin: https://www.amazon.com/Bucket-List-Journal-Achieve-Fulfilling/dp/B09VX2LMY2

The Buried Life (TV Show): https://www.bennemtin.com/tv-show/

The Buried Life (Poem): https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43585/the-buried-life

Ben’s Website: https://www.bennemtin.comBen’s TED Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6Y7mfxEaco

Follow Ben:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/bennemtin

https://www.instagram.com/bennemtin

https://twitter.com/BenNemtin

https://www.facebook.com/Nemtin/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5l2kfhEEEXLm2HlRXRVzbw

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

Follow me:

https://instagram.com/markmanson/

https://twitter.com/IAmMarkManson

https://facebook.com/Markmansonnet/

https://linkedin.com/in/markmanson/

https://www.tiktok.com/@iammarkmanson

00:00 What is the buried life?

06:57 Finding your gift and giving it away

11:07 The impact of The Buried Life TV show

18:06 Your goals don't have to be big to be meaningful

21:17 Your authentic self changes over time

26:15 Buried lives and the modern world

34:50 How to uncover your buried life

50:22 Leveraging emotions in your favor

59:41 Ben's Bucket List Journal

Theme music: “Icarus Lives” by Periphery, used with permission from Periphery.