How to get your partner on board

The Happy Human Life

“It’s been hard for me and my partner to get on the same page with the kids. We have different ideas on boundaries and discipline, and it's been causing a lot of tension between us. What can we do?”

In this episode, we dig into the tip of: LEADING WITH VALIDATION.

Understanding and acknowledging each other’s feelings and beliefs will always be the first step in finding common ground. Before we can even think about achieving a compromise, we first need to feel seen, heard, and validated.

To do this, we recommend setting aside dedicated time to give your partner space to share what they're thinking without ANY judgment. For us… this takes the form of a weekly 30-minute “team meeting” where we discuss the issues that we tend to avoid.

Though we’re not perfect at making sure it happens each week, it’s become a somewhat regular “check-in” that’s been helping us better align with and understand each other.

Although it’s easy to feel defensive (or even attacked) during these kinds of talks, just know that expressing defensiveness will only push your partner farther away. It’s a challenge, but we need to do our best to avoid those kinds of reactions, and instead, focus on being an active listener who understands and empathizes.

LEADING WITH VALIDATION will open the door to compromise. It’ll put you both in a position to co-create boundaries and strategies that work for the TEAM. Remember, the goal is not to win and get your partner over to your side. It’s all about letting go of control, being flexible, and compromise.

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Thanks for listening. 🙂

-Jenilee and Greg