Off-Planet transmission 009: paracosms_cranchiidae_booze

The Gonarch's Lair and Off-Planet podcasts

009: paracosms_cranchiidae_booze In a vain attempt at shrouding his lacklustre approach to pod upkeep, subject A has manufactured an autonomous valet. In theory it should alleviate an already congested list of errands for B, but an unforeseen quirk of said servant could dash his hopes before any benefit is felt. As we know, this newly employed minion isn’t the only thing our passengers have fabricated while incarcerated: the entirely fictional reality they continue to expand and reside within is now at risk of collapse. I don’t believe we should try to prevent this implosion, it would be fascinating to witness their collective and sudden return to reality. An intriguing change to the order of questioner, the reasons for which should be analysed further to rule out subterfuge, sees our captives consider a fact about the colossal squid: a huge, unsightly creature who inhabited the deepest oceans of their home planet. A seemingly innocuous topic inspires a spiralling conversation around nightmares, Mediterranean delicacies, insects, a 20th century author and personified sporting goods. It is impossible not to be impressed by their ability to talk inanely for extended periods of time, far surpassing any of our previous detainees. They closed the meeting by reflecting on how the promotion and consumption of alcohol had fallen victim to fashion trends. It astonishes me how dependent their civilisations were on these substances; it appears to have been absolutely crucial to the functioning of society yet responsible for so much calamity and pain. My species are by no means beyond the influence of mind-altering substances, but our safe drug production and consumption facilities have thus far prevented the destabilisation of communities. An important note for future trials: human exposure to our recreational narcotics will result in organic disintegration, a discovery made recently to my chagrin. The closing rant from B criticising public subservience hit a little too close to home. I propose we move to quell any early suggestion of revolt by altering our isolation strategy, affording the duo less time to socialise should prevent anti-establishment movements from taking root. Should that fail, scheduled memory wipes will be introduced to help reassert the equilibrium of our study. Signed, An Observer Intermission: Interior Applause - My Hoody by Jack Lancaster