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Roger Bodenstab - Becoming a Spiritual Father After 45, Ep #8
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How can the church community create relationships between the older dads, and those still raising young children? What is it that men in the church are seeking within fellowship?
Roger Bodenstab is the lead pastor at Crescent City Foursquare Church, the Church he grew up in, in North California. He is a men's advocate and nonprofit leader for the organization, Dad Tired.
Roger shares about his upbringing as the youngest of 10 siblings. He was raised without a dad because his father passed away shortly after he was born. At ten years old, he was hit by a car and because of his near-death experience, he sought to know Jesus and get baptized. He then developed a love for God’s word.
He met his wife on a mission trip and they had three biological daughters and later in life, four adopted children. It is through these experiences that he developed a passion for creating men’s mentorship for dads as spiritual fathers in the church.
You will want to hear this episode if you are interested in...
- Roger’s testimony on becoming Christian and getting into ministry [1:27]
- What is Crescent City, Foursquare Church, known for? [7:21]
- What it felt like for Roger to understand the need for a spiritual father [16:13]
- What Roger thinks the young men in church are looking for from a mentor [19:12]
- How Roger creates intergenerational mentorships in his church [23:44]
- Roger’s advice on how to make time for a mentor-relationship [27:29]
- Roger shares his journey of being vulnerable and authentic in church [31:00]
- The best and worst spiritual advice Roger has been given [36:50]
- Roger’s book recommendations about friendships [38:30]
Recognizing the Need for Spiritual Mentorship
Growing up in the church, the only mentorship Roger had was from the Word of God. When Roger became a pastor, he prayerfully sought how to reach the community. The Lord kept putting adoption and community children’s connection in his heart.
The experience of adopting young boys in diapers, after he raised daughters, led him to seek support from Dad Tired. The support he received from the men's ministry group, guided him to a leadership role with Dad Tired.
Roger realized that Dad Tired was bringing solutions spiritual dads had for seeking connection. The support group allowed men to communicate the love they wanted to express for their families and their need for connection.
Overcoming Obstacles that Hinder Men’s Mentoships
Roger believes the younger generation of church-going men are looking for authentic people to be vulnerable with. They seek to form real connections with genuine people. They are seeking answers to life’s difficult questions.
However, even when a younger generation desires mentorship, the obstacle older dads feel is accepting their vulnerability and sharing what they have learned from their mistakes in life. Sometimes the older men question what they have to offer in a mentoring relationship. Or they feel they can't make time for it. Roger suggests that any man wanting this relationship should act in obedience to this role and trust that God will honor the calling.
Being Vulnerable as a Spiritual Father
Many men may feel a weight, a burden that they are not good enough to be a spiritual mentor. Roger calls on his own experience of feeling like it was hard to measure up to other Godly men.
He reminds us that God called only one man to live perfectly, and Jesus already fulfilled that role. We human, spiritual fathers have made mistakes, and it is learning from those mistakes that qualifies us to be mentors. God redeems our mistakes, and young dads need to know that.
Young dads benefit from knowing there is redemption in struggles. It can offer freedom, grace, and love to the older dads confiding in the relationship too. Roger reminds us that the vulnerability to confess, confide, and pray for one another allows for healing.
This mentorship allows for a connection greater than the men. It is a reminder that it is always about Jesus.
Resources & People Mentioned
Connect with Roger Bondenstab
- Roger(at)dadtired.com
- https://www.dadtired.com/
- Connect on LinkedIn
Connect With Spiritual Fathers
- The Spiritual Fathers website
- https://www.instagram.com/maninthemirrorministry/
- SpiritualFathers(at)ManInTheMirror.com
Audio Production and Show Notes by - PODCAST FAST TRACK
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