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Why most guys who seem promising STOP approaching women
Manage episode 287065690 series 2439125
Main blog - https://mikemehlman.net/
Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/mikemehlman
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mike_mehlman/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/mikemehlman.net
This is an advanced-level clip discussing why most guys who demonstrate some initial efficacy with approach eventually drop off from approach altogether. In other words, it’s a predictable scenario of a guy who seems eager to be better with meeting women and improve his non-neediness and confidence, and he’ll start approaching for a few months (or even upward of a couple years), before finally fading entirely. If he and I have a text exchange of some kind, it's always some form of him being down about his "low numbers" and rejections. And then I have to repeatedly assert that high rejections are normal and inherent to how approaching and meeting women works. I've been preaching for a while how rejection composes the overwhelming majority of approaches and dating interactions no matter what. But many guys might only take this idea on board halfway. That is to say, they might tell themselves, "Ok, Mike said rejection is normal, and I get that, but like, I'm doing really bad. Like, my numbers are *really* low." And they become upset about the process and ultimately fade from approach altogether. I have to reiterate that the number-one trait that determines a male's efficacy in dating is his ability to not complain about rejection and continue approaching anyway. There's a DNA component where some males are just way more prone to complaining than others. But there's also a component of the degree to which the male understands rejection as normal and not a repudiation of himself. Most of the rejections you take, it doesn't even matter who you are. Girls will reject the overwhelming majority of the time regardless. The reason most men aren't sleeping with a harem of women is because it requires consistently approaching A LOT of women and incurring incessant rejection as the entrance requirement to attaining that. Even if your response is, "Yeah, but I don't even need a harem. I just honestly want one plate." My response is: you still need to approach consistently and in high-volume in order to maximize the chance of any of your interactions successfully proceeding. Most guys approach as a mere expedient to find "the one," before eventually collapsing into a transient monogamy where the female commands the frame. And this isn't because this is what most guys truly want; it's because it's what most guys are *only able to attain.* In other words, most guys *can't* attain a rotation of plates because they lack the ability to 1) approach consistently and in high volume, and 2) not complain about their rejections. Those two aspects of approach and dating are the entrance requirement to having a repertoire of women you're dating. They're not an outrageous task. They're the baseline requirement. I don't hook up with various women because I'm so special and don't get rejected. I hook up with various women *because* I get rejected all of the time incessantly *as the entrance requirement* for that to be the case. The number of rejections you incur is directly proportional to how many hookups you have. If a male says he has "lots of hookups" but simultaneously says he doesn't get rejected a lot, then he's either lying about his hookups, or he's lying about getting rejected a lot.
Full article: https://mikemehlman.net/2021/02/28/why-most-guys-who-seem-promising-stop-approaching-women
289 episoder
Manage episode 287065690 series 2439125
Main blog - https://mikemehlman.net/
Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/mikemehlman
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/mike_mehlman/
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/mikemehlman.net
This is an advanced-level clip discussing why most guys who demonstrate some initial efficacy with approach eventually drop off from approach altogether. In other words, it’s a predictable scenario of a guy who seems eager to be better with meeting women and improve his non-neediness and confidence, and he’ll start approaching for a few months (or even upward of a couple years), before finally fading entirely. If he and I have a text exchange of some kind, it's always some form of him being down about his "low numbers" and rejections. And then I have to repeatedly assert that high rejections are normal and inherent to how approaching and meeting women works. I've been preaching for a while how rejection composes the overwhelming majority of approaches and dating interactions no matter what. But many guys might only take this idea on board halfway. That is to say, they might tell themselves, "Ok, Mike said rejection is normal, and I get that, but like, I'm doing really bad. Like, my numbers are *really* low." And they become upset about the process and ultimately fade from approach altogether. I have to reiterate that the number-one trait that determines a male's efficacy in dating is his ability to not complain about rejection and continue approaching anyway. There's a DNA component where some males are just way more prone to complaining than others. But there's also a component of the degree to which the male understands rejection as normal and not a repudiation of himself. Most of the rejections you take, it doesn't even matter who you are. Girls will reject the overwhelming majority of the time regardless. The reason most men aren't sleeping with a harem of women is because it requires consistently approaching A LOT of women and incurring incessant rejection as the entrance requirement to attaining that. Even if your response is, "Yeah, but I don't even need a harem. I just honestly want one plate." My response is: you still need to approach consistently and in high-volume in order to maximize the chance of any of your interactions successfully proceeding. Most guys approach as a mere expedient to find "the one," before eventually collapsing into a transient monogamy where the female commands the frame. And this isn't because this is what most guys truly want; it's because it's what most guys are *only able to attain.* In other words, most guys *can't* attain a rotation of plates because they lack the ability to 1) approach consistently and in high volume, and 2) not complain about their rejections. Those two aspects of approach and dating are the entrance requirement to having a repertoire of women you're dating. They're not an outrageous task. They're the baseline requirement. I don't hook up with various women because I'm so special and don't get rejected. I hook up with various women *because* I get rejected all of the time incessantly *as the entrance requirement* for that to be the case. The number of rejections you incur is directly proportional to how many hookups you have. If a male says he has "lots of hookups" but simultaneously says he doesn't get rejected a lot, then he's either lying about his hookups, or he's lying about getting rejected a lot.
Full article: https://mikemehlman.net/2021/02/28/why-most-guys-who-seem-promising-stop-approaching-women
289 episoder
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