Bedste Words Of Vikram-podcasts (2024)

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Ep 135: Tim Wenzel | The consequences of being kind 51:09

12d ago51:09

51:09

Tim Wenzel is back on the show to discuss his book, "The Kindness Games," which he co-authored with Lee Oughton. Tim was my guest in episode 104, where he shared how the original idea of The Kindness Games came about. Now that the book is out, Tim shares what went into writing it, the lessons learned, the stories highlighted, and his hope for the m…

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Ep 134: Are sunk costs sinking your communication? 32:05

26d ago32:05

32:05

Is an unawareness of sunk costs sabotaging your communication efforts? We often hold on to decisions, beliefs, and strategies simply because we’ve already poured time, money, or energy into them, even when we know they are no longer serving us well or are no longer aligned with who we are. Understanding the role that sunk costs play in our decision…

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Ep 133: Vikram Mansharamani | Approaching life, conflict, and uncertainty as a generalist 59:52

1M ago59:52

59:52

Our society spends an awful lot of time and energy trying to categorize and label people. From your political affiliation to your religion to your generation to your level of schooling, each "box" comes with it expectations of who and what you are, and as a result, a prediction of how successful you'll be in your chosen pursuits. My guest in this e…

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Ep 132: The story I'm telling myself is... 20:36

2M ago20:36

20:36

How can you make your disagreements more meaningful? Too often, when conflict arises, there's an understanding that a disagreement is present, but rarely do we take the time to truly understand why the disagreement is there in the first place. This happens everywhere — at work, within family dynamics, with friends and significant others, in the pol…

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Ep 131: Robin Reames | The lost understanding of rhetoric and the power behind words 58:33

2M ago58:33

58:33

This conversation is perhaps the most profound exploration I've ever done on the power of asking questions to understand the meaning behind words. Robin Reames is an Associate Professor of English at the University of Illinois Chicago and the author of the book, "The Ancient Art of Thinking for Yourself: The Power of Rhetoric in Polarized Times." A…

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Ep 130: 6 things school didn't teach you about communication 53:20

3M ago53:20

53:20

Welcome to Rethinking Communication! Over the past four years, I've uncovered some aspects of communication that have largely gone untaught in our traditional educational settings. So, I'm pivoting this podcast to focus on how we can bridge these gaps in our collective communication skill set. In this first episode under the new banner, I introduce…

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Ep 129: Patrick Williams | Restoring your innate creativity to solve your greatest challenges 57:35

3M ago57:35

57:35

My guest in this episode is Patrick Williams, a public speaker, writer, artist, independent scholar, and educator. Patrick is the founder and CEO of Satori Innovation and the Creative Director of The Satori Institute, an arts, education, and research non-profit. For more than four decades, Patrick has developed what he calls the Philosophy of Creat…

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Ep 128: Inviting curiosity into conversation before common ground 55:38

4M ago55:38

55:38

This is an interview I did with David Bryan on his Curiosity Invited podcast. In this conversation, David and I get into the deeper reasons why I started this exploration of change, common ground, and curiosity. To order a copy of my book, go to https://michaelashford.com/caniaskaquestion to get signed copy or order it on Amazon at https://www.amaz…

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Ep 127: Orly Israel | Listening is access to the infinity of other people's universe 59:27

4M ago59:27

59:27

In episode 99 of this show, Manu Meel offered up my favorite definition of empathy when he said it was the act of "making someone feel like they belong in that space with you." Then, in episode 110, I explored the topic of listening and how to do it better with several guests, and we uncovered that asking questions was critical to true, real listen…

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Ep 126: Rob Lawless | "The more I interact with the depth of people the more I acknowledge it exists" 1:02:47

5M ago1:02:47

1:02:47

What do you think you might learn about communication if you held thousands of conversations with strangers over the course of a decade? Well, you don't have to wonder. My guest in this episode can tell you. Back in 2015, while working as a sales rep tasked with cold-calling people who didn't want to talk to him, Rob Lawless started a side project …

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Ep 125: Michael McQueen | We're not afraid of change...we're afraid of loss 58:44

5M ago58:44

58:44

If you were to track how many times per day someone tried to convince you to change in some way, chances are you'd fill up pages worth of tally marks. We often get sucked into thinking that the way to change people's minds to get them to do what we want them to do is to present them with enough evidence, data, and proof that our way is the "right" …

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Ep 124: Why I wrote my book and what I learned about communication and change 39:48

6M ago39:48

39:48

This episode is taken from my recent appearance on Kwame Christian's "Negotiate Anything" podcast. In this discussion, Kwame and I take a deep dive into my book, "Can I Ask A Question?" and explore how the book came to be and the lessons about communication and change that I learned along the way. To order a signed copy of my book, go to https://mi…

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Ep 123: Steve Leskovec | Closing the gap on the things you weren't taught in school 56:57

6M ago56:57

56:57

My guest in this episode is Steve Leskovek, a retired nurse who has created a resource to teach teens and young adults valuable life skills that Steve realized were not being taught in schools. The word resource might be underselling it a bit — Steve created an entire curriculum, complete with video tutorials and study guides for everything from fi…

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Ep 122: Meghan Bonde | Neurodiversity, the 5 intensities, and communicating to meet social-emotional needs 51:57

7M ago51:57

51:57

If you’re anything like me, you’ve noticed over the past decade or so the emergence — or at least the increased use of — the word neurodivergent. And if you’re anything like me, you heard the term and made some assumptions about what it meant, what and who it described, and why it started showing up in more places and in more conversations…perhaps …

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Ep 121: Amy Morin | Building mental strength through reclaiming control over your thoughts and emotions 51:38

7M ago51:38

51:38

One of the ways us humans feel the most vulnerable and least empowered is when others have authority and control over us. Take away a person’s sense of autonomy and I’ll show you a person who is unsure of themselves, angry, and without peace. When you voluntarily give away power and control over your thoughts and actions, psychologist Amy Morin say…

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Ep 120: Jason Rosoff | The importance of delivering feedback and criticism with care 1:01:59

8M ago1:01:59

1:01:59

The phrase "Everyone has an opinion about everything these days," is often thrown out like it’s a bad thing. But, you’re a human being. Of course you have opinions. The bigger issue, in my humble, ahem, opinion, is that you are exposed to more peoples’ opinions and feedback and ideas than ever before. You’re bombarded seemingly from all directions …

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Ep 119: Steije Hofhuis | What 16th Century witchcraft panic can teach us about human behavior today 52:08

8M ago52:08

52:08

What in the world do witchcraft panics and witch trials have to do with communication? I assure you, after hearing this episode, there will be little doubt of the linkage. My guest is Steije Hofhuis, a Dutch university lecturer and historian and an expert on the early modern witchcraft panics that swept across Europe in the 15th, 16th, and 17th cen…

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Ep 118: Gary John Bishop | This 'blame thing' and the space you take up in the universe 54:44

9M ago54:44

54:44

You know the old saying “Never judge a book by its cover?” I’ll admit, this week’s guest put me to the test. Gary John Bishop is what he calls an “urban philosopher” and a New York Times bestselling author of titles such as Stop Doing That Sh*t, Wise and F*ck, Love Unf*cked, and his most well-known work, Unf*ck Yourself. Gary’s got a new book out c…

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Ep 117: David Samson | Understanding our tribe drive and how to use it for good 1:06:25

9M ago1:06:25

1:06:25

We live in a world where the individual is celebrated and held up as the first and last option, and reliance on others is shamed and degraded in many ways. Yet, it goes against who we are and who we are made to be. We’re tribal. We work best in small groups, sharing resources and working together to solve problems. But what happens when this tribe …

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Ep 116: John Noltner | The road to peace is paved with our stories 50:25

9M ago50:25

50:25

I am thrilled to welcome John Noltner back to the show for another conversation on what it means to intentionally seek out and create peace. After John and I first connected in the fall of 2021 for episode 62, John and his wife sold their home, moved into a van, and set out on the road interviewing people from all walks of life to uncover their sto…

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Ep 115: Mark Feldmeir | Challenging long-held assumptions about God, the Bible, and what it means to be Christian 1:07:25

10M ago1:07:25

1:07:25

I’ve mentioned many times that I am a lifelong Christian, and perhaps when you heard that you made some assumptions about me — about what I believe, about what I am not only for, but what I am against, about how I see the world and those living in it. And know that I’m not judging you for that. That’s a human thing to do. But the conversation you’r…

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Ep 114: Andy Norman | Why it feels dangerous to challenge our deepest beliefs 1:02:41

10M ago1:02:41

1:02:41

Much of our language these days carries with it an unspoken message — an undertone of an individualistic, self-serving, perhaps even entitled mindset about not just our actions, but our beliefs and opinions. But what of our responsibilities to others? Do those even exist? Or, what of our responsibilities to question ourselves? Is that a thing? In t…

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Ep 113: Josh Lewis | Recapturing the original promises of conservatism 54:49

11M ago54:49

54:49

In this episode, I welcome Josh Lewis, the host of Saving Elephants, a podcast and blog espousing the goodness and benefits of the conservative tradition in the United States. Josh believes bad actors have hijacked conservatism, and if true conservatism is to survive — where the wisdom of the past is applied to the challenges of the present — then …

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Ep 112: Dr. Reneé Carr | Reframing conflict and telling your ego to calm down 1:04:59

11M ago1:04:59

1:04:59

What happens if we never shed our child ego as we graduate into adulthood? How might someone show up in the world if they never emotionally mature past the child ego state, especially when conflict is present? Dr. Reneé Carr is a psychologist and an advisor to political leaders at the state and national levels. Reneé’s gift is the ability to apply …

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Ep 111: The ASK then SEE approach to conflict communication 44:54

12M ago44:54

44:54

In this solo episode, I give you a behind-the-scenes look at what went into my new book, Can I Ask A Question? I reveal the themes and principles that inspired the book, which includes my ASK then SEE method of communicating through conflict. My book is available for preorder at https://michaelashford.com/caniaskaquestion until Sept. 20, 2023. The …

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Ep 110: The misunderstanding of active listening 40:33

1y ago40:33

40:33

What is active listening, and how does it make someone a good listener? These days, the answers to those questions are complicated, mostly because we've lost sight of the goal of listening. In this solo episode, I tackle how active listening has been warped into something it was never intended to be, and how we can refocus ourselves on the true def…

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Ep 109: Scott Lyons | Is the whole world addicted to the drama? 1:03:00

1y ago1:03:00

1:03:00

If I were to ask, “Do you know someone addicted to drama?” there’s a good chance someone’s name and face immediately popped into your mind. In the immortal words of those epic modern day poets, The Black Eyed Peas: "I think the whole world's addicted to the drama; Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma." As it turns out, the Peas weren’t…

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Ep 108: Dr. Kurt Gray | Morality, values, and the 'problem of other minds' 59:05

1y ago59:05

59:05

Imagine I'm standing right across from you and I tell you I'm thinking about eating a steak. Psychology tells us that you likely would assume that was true, and that actually, you assume the things most people tell you are true. But how can you be sure? In this episode, I speak with Dr. Kurt Gray, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at the U…

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Ep 107: Robin Steinberg | Holding compassion for others, even when they do the unthinkable 53:32

1y ago53:32

53:32

Is there anything a person can do that makes them unworthy of our empathy, curiosity, or compassion? What if they’ve done something truly heinous? This episode features my conversation with Robin Steinberg, who spent 35 years as a public defender in New York representing people in court who couldn’t afford a lawyer, many of whom had undeniably comm…

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Ep 106: Mónica Guzmán | What happens after we find common ground? 36:01

1y ago36:01

36:01

There's an unanswered question lingering in the air amongst all the talk that focuses on dialogue and bridging divides and finding common ground. And that question is: What happens when we have to move beyond conversation and achieving understanding and we actually have to start producing solutions to problems? What do we do then? It’s an important…

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Ep 105: Mariama Whyte | How do you best show up in the world? 59:18

1+ y ago59:18

59:18

Understanding yourself better by exploring the makeup of your ideas and beliefs about the way the world works — or perhaps even the way the world should work — is a must if you are to have better, more productive, more actionable conversations when conflict is present. And often, this soul-searching work creates a psychological safety that allows y…

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Ep 104: Tim Wenzel | Responding to labels and stereotypes with kindness 1:02:49

1+ y ago1:02:49

1:02:49

What shifts in the moment someone tosses aside your unique humanity in favor of a damaging and hurtful stereotype? Where you become a caricature of a certain type of person in someone’s mind rather than the nuanced and intricate person standing in front of them? This week's guest, Tim Wenzel, believes that for so many of us, we’re conditioned to be…

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Ep 103: Fred Dust | Is change the purpose of conversation? 55:29

1+ y ago55:29

55:29

What is the purpose of conversation? Well, Fred Dust believes it’s change. Fred is the author of the book Making Conversation, and in this, well, conversation, Fred shares why creating change is an elemental component of the most valuable and creative method we have of communicating with each other. And here’s the trickiest part: the best, most pro…

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Ep 102: Racquel Garcia | We're all trying to find our way back home 1:02:30

1+ y ago1:02:30

1:02:30

What you hear in this episode is the rawest and most emotional interview I’ve ever done. And it's not even close. When I first connected with Racquel Garcia, I was intrigued by her story of starting her organization, HardBeauty, where she and her team help people overcome and survive addiction, depression, homelessness, mental health issues, sexual…

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Ep 101: Matthew Trombley | The intentional work of cultivating common ground 55:22

1+ y ago55:22

55:22

I’m more than 100 episodes into this podcast now, and along the way, many of the guests I’ve had on the show have introduced me to some words and phrases that I’d never heard before yet have helped give me the vocabulary to appropriately express the things I see in this messy world. My guest in this episode brings with him another word and another …

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Ep 100: Oscar Trimboli | The contact sport of becoming a deep listener 1:03:04

1+ y ago1:03:04

1:03:04

Here’s the thing about listening: the person being listened to has to feel heard for true listening to have taken place. And not just what they say, but how they say it, and what they mean by what they say. My guest this week is Oscar Trimboli, host of the Deep Listening podcast, author of the book How To Listen, and a man on a mission to create 10…

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Ep 99: Manu Meel | Battling political apathy through building conversational bridges 54:51

1+ y ago54:51

54:51

The polarized nature of American politics, the zero-sum nature of seemingly every issue, the ways our leaders act and create policy not because they stand for something, but because they want to oppose the other side … it’s all just … exhausting. Many Americans are in what's called "the exhausted majority," and this exhaustion can quickly turn to p…

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Ep 98: How to communicatively hold space for someone else 40:05

1+ y ago40:05

40:05

I'm switching things up in this episode, as this time, it's my turn to be interviewed. This is an interview I did with Kwame Christian on his Negotiate Anything podcast in late 2022. In this conversation, Kwame and I discuss how to communicatively hold space for someone, the psychology of change, and what it means to ask curious questions. You can …

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Ep 97: Jeff Schoep | How does a person change, and is change real? 1:00:34

1+ y ago1:00:34

1:00:34

Lately, I’ve been fascinated by the psychology of change. There came a point in late 2022 when I started to notice that many of the conversations I’ve had here on the show have carried with them an undertone of change. I’ve gone back and listened to many of the interviews, and change pops up quite frequently. In fact, based on what I’ve gathered, o…

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Ep 96: Elizabeth Doll | Shouting louder isn't the answer to communicating across divides 52:45

1+ y ago52:45

52:45

One of my favorite discoveries over the course of hosting this podcast is the concept that in order to communicate across divides and begin to better understand each other, we must learn to adopt the language of those we disagree with and speak in their terms. Many guests here on the show have touched on this point, but this week’s guest exemplifie…

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Ep 95: Karen Hardwick | Doing the work of self-reflection before it becomes damage control 56:35

1+ y ago56:35

56:35

The first episode of 2023 my conversation with Karen Joy Hardwick. Karen recently released a new book, The Connected Leader: 7 Strategies to Empower Your True Self and Inspire Others. And while it is a leadership book aimed particularly at business leaders, as I read The Connected Leader, I found that so much of the uplift Karen advocates for can b…

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Ep 94: Kwame Christian | To have difficult conversations about race we must practice the skills to do so 51:03

1+ y ago51:03

51:03

We all — myself included — have this ineffective little habit of wanting to be better at something and desiring to show up differently in the world and talking about how we can be better, yet we struggle to practice the skills necessary for us to do so. Perhaps nowhere is this more true than in conversations about race. And to be more pointed with …

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Ep 93: Ari Wallach | Leaning into relational tension to create an examined desired future 59:21

2y ago59:21

59:21

This week’s guest lays out plainly the role our emotions play in how we communicate with each other across differences and divides. Ari Wallach calls this consideration of our emotions as being full-spectrum human beings who can go forward, backward, and inward in our thoughts, and when examining a path forward through conflicts and how we envision…

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Ep 92: Dr. Corey Yeager | Inviting others into the playground of conversation 53:11

2y ago53:11

53:11

My guest on this episode equates conversation to being on a playground, where there is humor, joy, curiosity, exploration, and yes, some arguments and hurt feelings. And feeling bold enough to invite others onto our own personal playgrounds requires us to first uncover some things about ourselves and how we wish to interact with those around us. Yo…

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Ep 91: Martin Carcasson | Solving our most wicked problems together at the local level 54:08

2y ago54:08

54:08

In this episode, I’m bringing the political field of vision down to the local level, where honestly, I believe we’re more likely to enact significant change. Because at the local level, we have more ability to effect said change. There’s more within our control. We’re closer to the problems, and we're closer to the solutions. This mentality is at t…

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Ep 90: Eli Zupnick | Can more political parties solve our polarization problems? 58:07

2y ago58:07

58:07

It’s nearly impossible to hear the word polarization and not immediately think of nasty political feuds. And many point to the fact that we even have political parties as the source of much of our division. So imagine my surprise when in the course of researching my guest’s background for this episode, the organization he is a part of actually take…

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Ep 89: Karen Cerulo and Janet Ruane | Dreaming big, and how life circumstances affect our ability to do so 58:11

2y ago58:11

58:11

Take a moment and think about the hopes and dreams you have for your life. Beyond your goals for your career or your relationships. Not the planned out path that you might already be working on. I’m talking about the irrational, blissful, pie-in-the-sky dreams that perhaps captured your attention back when you were younger and the world hadn’t caug…

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Ep 88: Jack Buckby | The dangers in assigning labels and calling people names that are untrue 58:22

2y ago58:22

58:22

One of the things that drives me crazy about modern society and culture is our tendency to call people names and assign them labels to avoid leaning into the uncomfortable conversations that exist when we disagree. These names and labels — which are often untrue — carry with them enormous power to shut down productive conversation about important i…

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Ep 87: Dan Vallone | To build trust you must create belonging 55:19

2y ago55:19

55:19

This episode explores the nuance of trust, and how we create more of it. My guest is Dan Vallone, the Director of More in Common USA. After spending 6 years as an active duty Army infantry officer, which included a tour in Afghanistan, Dan got into the work of education policy and innovation, and eventually began to explore the common factors that …

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Ep 86: Adam Wilkinson | The individual responsibility we each own to deescalate hate 52:58

2y ago52:58

52:58

My guest this week believes there’s a lot more good in the world than there is hate, you just have to avoid getting sucked into the hate machine and instead look for the many instances where good occurs in the small things. In this episode, I chat with Adam Wilkinson, or Wilk, for short. He’s a firm believer that light drives out darkness, and when…

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