Have you SEEN the state of the papers today? PAPER CUTS has. In our now DAILY podcast, some of Britain’s sharpest commentators and funniest comedians come together to look at the madness, the strangeness, the obsessions, and – occasionally – the brilliance of our national press. Host Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalists and comedians like Jason Hazeley, Fin Taylor, Jonn Elledge, Alex Von Tunzelmann, Grainne Maguire, Rob Hutton, Athena Kugblenu, Marcus Brigstocke and many more. Illustratio ...
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Paper Cuts is a no holds barred discussion about comics every week. The gang talks about new release and have one discussion topic a week with guests often!
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Oh no, Farage is back – Nadine Dorries: Ghost Whisperer? – How to spot a voice note w*nker
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Farage against the election. Nigel Farage in another U-turn as he announces he will be running at the General Election. Who you gonna call? Nadine Dorries tells the Daily Mail about her paranormal activity. Plus – Speak Never! The FT’s guide to voice note etiquette. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by jo…
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Sunak Vs Starmer: Let's get ready to rumble – Rupert Murdoch gets hitched (again) – Meet Britain’s most ‘terrifying’ journalist
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Handbags at dawn. Fleet Street gets us up to speed on Sunak and Starmer’s battle plans ahead of their first TV debate. Something old, something new. The Daily Mail tells us all about Rupert Murdoch’s latest nuptials. Plus – Kay it ain’t so The Times interviews Britain's most feared reporter… Kay Burle…
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Trump: Guiltiest man on earth – Is Will Smith a bad boy for life? – Want to ignore the election? Watch sh*t TV!
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Crooked Donald Trump. The former president is found guilty on all 34 counts in New York hush money case. I make this look good. The Guardian investigates Will Smith’s PR rehabilitation. Plus – Feels so good to be bad. Why shit TV is getting us through it all. Jacob Jarvis is joined by journalist and a…
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The Diane Abbott clusterf*ck – Cardi G! Southgate cardigan mania hits – Meet the judgiest Gen Z person EVER
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Confusion in North London. Diane Abbott says she’s been barred from standing as a Labour MP but Starmer disagrees. Cardies are the new Black. England gaffer Gareth Southgate has donned a cardigan and the press are obsessed. Plus – The Generation Shame. What Gen Z really think of you, according to The …
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Victory is sweet for Angela Rayner – Robert de Niro calls out Donald Trump – Stop working old-school comedians to death!
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Rayn-ing on the parade. The Angela Rayner council house case evaporates, and the Tories decide they hate university students. Don vs the Don. Robert De Niro’s dire warnings outside Trump’s New York trial. Plus – Who’s on last? Why stand-up comics from the 70s and 80s have to keep working or go skint. …
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Is Sunak trying to lose the election? – Tech bros and Tradwives: Meet the world’s worst parents – Broken Holmes! Eamonn and Ruth split
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: California Dreaming. Has Sunak already mentally checked out of No.10? Honey, I Disrupted the Kids. Meet the cottagecore tech bros and gals who hit their kids. Plus – Eamonn my own again. The nation is in mourning after Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford split news. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by LBC H…
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Sunak’s latest campaign blunders – “Oh no! Mum’s on Ket!” – Yeehaw! Inside country’s 2024 comeback
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: F*ck-up in a brewery. The Prime Minister kicks off the general election campaign terribly in a Welsh brewery. Ready, ket, go! Horse tranquiliser ingestion gives us an early contender for Mum of the year in The Daily Mail. Plus – You’ve had some right cowboys in here. The Guardian investigates why we’r…
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Where’s brolly? Soggy Sunak calls a Genny Lecs – Bloomin’ Hell: inside the Chelsea Flower Show – Greatest albums list annoys everyone
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Raining Champ? Sunak is just a (very wet) boy, standing in front of a country, asking for a general election. Flower Power. The Chelsea Flower Show is here the papers love it. Plus – The “Miseducation” all right! Apple Music’s top 100 albums of all time are out and we are deeply confused. Miranda Sawy…
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Minister makes first class fool of himself – Would you go ‘boy sober?’ – Reality TV Weddings: the full horror
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Tory minister puts his foot in it. Johnny Mercer MP exhibits the WORST train etiquette – and there are pictures. Officially three months “boysober”. Meet the people going cold turkey on boys. Plus – The ones that got away! The Guardian investigates the Reality TV couples that are still going strong. A…
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True horror of infected blood scandal revealed – Nadine Dorries vs. the Cotswolds – Does Bridgerton need more misery?
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Infected blood scandal report. The papers at their best as inquiry reports and PM promises compensation. Not enough room for the two of us… Nadine Dorries brought to tears by the “County Princesses” in the Cotswolds. Plus, this is why we can’t have nice things. Netflix’s bodice-ripping hit Bridgerton …
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Baby Rein-Keir! Real-life ‘Martha’ targets Starmer – The cost of wedding crisis – Inside the Bennifer break-up
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: The real-life “Martha” from Baby Reindeer has a new target, says The Sun, and it’s… Keir Starmer? Plus love doesn't cost a thing but weddings do, and Fleet Street can’t stop talking about it. And the tabloids gleefully pick apart the end of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez’s marriage. Miranda Sawyer is …
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Jeremy Clarkson: World’s sexiest man? – Reality Bites: TV influencers up on finance charges – The Times’s mad summer fashion diktats
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Jeremy Clarkson voted the sexiest man in the world, Fleet Street gobsmacked. Reality TV stars in trouble for dodgy instagram promos in the FT. And call the fashion police – The Times tells us what not to wear this summer. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journalist Holly Thomas and comedian Rich Fulcher. S…
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Assassination attempt on Slovak PM – The dark(er) side of OnlyFans – Why do we love slagging off other people’s weddings?
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Horror in Slovakia. Who is PM Robert Fico and what’s behind the shocking attempt on his life? Sex, Lies and Deception. A brilliant investigation behind the scenes at amateur porn site Only Fans in The Times. Plus – In that dress? The pure joy of wedding snobbery. Andrew Harrison is joined by i paper c…
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Esther McVey hates rainbows – Can spreadsheets fix your sex life? – Gran with a Flan! OAPs vs foodies
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Culture War-drobe. Common Sense minister Esther McVey sparks row over rainbow laywards. Freak in the (Excel) sheets. Should you have a spreadsheet for your love life? Plus – Past their sell-by date? The Telegraph investigates the OAPs taking over the food market with their artisanal treats. Rob Hutton…
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Trump fumes as “pitbull” Cohen testifies – Art failure! New York-Dublin video portal gets messy – Escape your phone for just £72
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Keep on Cohen back to you. Trump’s former fixer Michael Cohen testifies in court and the papers have the details. Portal me away! Dublin and New York are now connected via a giant open-air video portal… what could possibly go wrong? Plus Dataphobia! Phone anxiety? Marie Kondo is selling you the soluti…
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Panicky Sunak launches Project Fear – Dogs mania at Cannes Film Festival – Menswear guru’s verdict on Britain’s politicians
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Rishi tells Britain to panic. Sunak lays out a five year plan for “dangerous” years ahead – and surprisingly it doesn’t involve losing a general election. Canine Cannes. The Cannes Film Festival has gone dog mad and The Guardian are obsessed. Plus – Suits you, Starmer? Twitter’s Menswear Guy runs a ha…
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What's going on with Eurovision? – The return of Dominic Cummings – Would you let your husband pick your outfits?
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Europe’s Got (Some) Talent. We review the runners and riders ahead of Eurovision 2024 – and discuss the controversy around the contest. Cummings and goings. Dominic Cummings wants to set up his own party... Plus – Dress to distress? Three brave women let their husbands dress them – and the Telegraph r…
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Outrage as Natalie Elphicke joins Labour – The world's worst blind date – Why the Dutch are taking your phone away
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Nobody liked that. Conservative MP Natalie Elphicke defects to the Labour party – and members are not happy about it. Don’t you know who I am? The Daily Mail’s Liz Jones disaster date with a normie. Plus – No Phone, No Problem. The Dutch are ditching their phones. Should we do the same? Alex von Tunze…
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Stormy ‘spanked’ Trump - The elite church that ‘saved’ Russell Brand - The Mail says men can’t drive
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We need your help! Let us know what you think to Paper Cuts in our listener Survey: https://forms.gle/NuPnG3gbtefeFpEY9 We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Calm before the Stormy. Adult film star Stormy Daniels’ blockbuster testimony from the Trump trial. A broad church. The Times has the story of Russell Brand’s baptism in the Thames. …
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Elections verdict: Sunak-ered! – Drake vs Kendrick Lamar gets nasty – The Mid Gala: Met fashion underwhelms
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We need your help! Let us know what you think to Paper Cuts in our listener Survey: https://forms.gle/NuPnG3gbtefeFpEY9 We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Ballots gonna fly. The Tories were trounced at the local elections, but Rishi is SURE they’re fine. Fire in the booth. The Kendrick Lamar and Drake beef gets serious. Plus – Send in …
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Extra: A taster of American Friction
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The brand new podcast from the makers of The Bunker. Bewildered by the US Presidential Election? Don’t worry, American Friction has got you. Every Friday Chris Jones, Jacob Jarvis and Nikki McCann Ramírez of Rolling Stone join expert special guests to count down to America’s most rancorous election in generations. Get the full episode and subscribe…
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Tory disaster in local elections – Netflix’s Baby Reindeer fiasco – Can you become an influencer in seven days?
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We need your help! Let us know what you think to Paper Cuts in our listener Survey: https://forms.gle/NuPnG3gbtefeFpEY9 We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Stop the small votes! The Conservatives take a pounding in local and by-elections. Stalk me baby one more time. Netflix’s new show Baby Reindeer brings out the worst in everybody. Pl…
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Could campus protests spread to the UK? – Luxury panic rooms make us anxious – Are you being slagged off in a secret WhatsApp group?
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We need your help! Let us know what you think to Paper Cuts in our listener survey. We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: US campus protests. Student protests spread across America over the war in Gaza – will similar action happen in the UK? Panic stations! Inside the micro-fortresses built by the world’s mega-rich. Plus – Message in a ba…
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Sword attack horror – Trump's $9k fine for not shutting up – How an angry girlfriend AI can fix your relationship
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We need your help! Let us know what you think to Paper Cuts in our listener survey. We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Sword Attack. The Papers react to a horrific incident in Hainault. Cheap talk? Trump’s been fined after breaching a gag order. Plus – No way, Computer! Can an AI help you resolve conflicts with your partner? Jacob Jarv…
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Want to live in the Sir Captain Tom mansion? – Big bother! Is reality TV too cruel? – How to bag yourself a Brexit backing bad boy
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We need your help! Let us know what you think to Paper Cuts in our listener survey: https://forms.gle/k8aJKfzbtJNVdk4m8 We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Go big, or go home. Sir Captain Tom Moore’s daughter is selling the family home – with questions raised over the use of his name… Reality Check. Has TV become more evil than ever? Pl…
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Will this be Sunak's worst week yet? – How the Cotswolds became a sexy haven for poshos – The miracle do-nothing weight-loss fad
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Is he tough enough? Sunak’s playing the hard man to get through a bad week, will it work? Village people. Posh Woman Plum Sykes pens a saucy tale about her mates in the Cotswolds. Plus – Manifest it! The Mail reckons you can think your way to your dream body. Miranda Sawyer is joined by author and jou…
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Harvey Weinstein: What’s going on? – Scotland’s government chaos – Is Ryan Gosling the hero cinema needs?
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31:14
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: New York Court. Harvey Weinstein's New York rape conviction overturned as prosecutors aim for a retrial. A Holyrood Drama. SNP first minister Humza Yousaf faces a no confidence vote. Plus – More than just Ken? When did we all become obsessed with Ryan Gosling? Miranda Sawyer is joined by political cor…
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Starmer's plan to take back the railways – Hoof it! Inside the London horse rampage – Will John Cleese live forever?
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27:13
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Build track better. Labour have outlined their plans to renationalise the railways if they win the election. Clip, clop, you don’t stop. Two spooked horses seen cantering around London and the press are worried about the end of the world. Plus – Who wants to live forever? John Cleese spends seventeen …
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Tragedy in the Channel – Drake vs. Kendrick Lamar: Rap beef explained – Why are men so weird?
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30:51
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Small boats latest. Papers shift focus on tragic Channel crossings after Rwanda legislation passes. Drake-ing news! Why are the world’s biggest rappers feuding? Plus – Pillow talk. The Independent investigates the “boy rooms” that belong to grown men. Miranda Sawyer is joined by The Bunker podcast hos…
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Rishi's Rwanda plan gets go-ahead – Guest who? The new rules of being a host – Meet the geniuses who name your paint
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26:50
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Flight risk. Sunak has finally passed his Rwanda bill and is promising to start flights in July. Stay the night! The i has the rules for being a good house guest and details how to be a host. Plus – Colour me confused! It’s someone’s actual job to name paint colours – and we’re obsessed with how they …
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The Met Police’s latest scandal – Rave intentions! How rich people ruined Ibiza – The supermarket staples that make you randy
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28:48
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Law and Disorder. The papers report on a row over the Metropolitan Police’s approach to a Jewish man at a protest last weekend. Sobering Up. The Times says everyone’s having a terrible time in Ibiza. Plus – I’ll have what she’s having! Gizzi Erskine rates orgasmic food for The i. Miranda Sawyer is joi…
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Taylor Swift: Heartbroken or just boring? – The creepiest article of the year – Should pubs ban kids?
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30:11
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: New Album, who dis? Taylor Swift’s new album is here and the papers are all over it. Not fit to print. A Spectator theatre critic went to a brothel and wrote about it for some reason. Plus – Hit the bottle! Should tots be banned from pubs? Miranda Sawyer is joined by political correspondent for Politi…
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Latest Tory scandal is a sleazy classic – Celebs are putting us all off sex – Is your mate skint or a scrounger?
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28:54
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: At last, some real sleaze! Prime A+ grade scandal as Tory MP is accused of misusing campaign funds to pay off “bad people”. Let’s NOT talk about sex, baby. Celebrities are talking about sex and it’s putting everyone off. Plus – Whose round is it anyway? The Mail warns that your friends are not as skin…
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Liz Truss blames the world – How to date 20 people at once – Spice up your mid-life! Posh turns 50
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30:51
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Leaf it out! Lettuce Liz Truss has written a book – and oh boy does she want us to know about it. Lots of love. We get the rundown on a 20 person ‘polycule’ in America – and all the top tips on dating multiple people at once. Plus – 1 becomes 50. It’s Posh Spice’s birthday and the papers are obsessed.…
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Sleepy Don! Trump snoozes in court – Truss, Johnson and the war on cigs – P*ss off! The Daily Mail guide to weeing
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30:50
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: I fought the law and the snore won. Trump’s hush money trial begins – and someone didn’t get enough sleep. Put it out! MP’s debate Rishi’s flagship smoking ban. Plus – Taking the piss? The Mail has timed the perfect pee. Alex von Tunzelmann is joined by The Bunker podcast host Jacob Jarvis and comedia…
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The Papers prepare for WW3 – How tech bros are planning to live forever – Gordon Ramsay’s squatter nightmare
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28:11
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Iran attacks Israel. The papers react to the fallout from Iran’s drone attack on Israel over the weekend. Who wants to live forever? Meet the tech bros trying to defy death. Plus – Hell’s kitchen! Squatters take over a multimillion pound pub owned by Gordon Ramsey. Miranda Sawyer is joined by journali…
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The Papers vs. OJ Simpson – Did we get conned by Joe Lycett’s fake news? – Horsing around at the Grand National
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34:13
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Is the juice worth the squeeze? The papers have a LOT to say about OJ “definitely not a murderer” Simpson after his death at 76. Lycett, damned Lies and Exclusives! How many of Joe Lycett’s fake news did we end up covering? Plus – Neigh-sayers. It’s the Grand National tomorrow, and the papers are obse…
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Biden warns Iran over Israel – Dr Non! Why you can’t honeytrap a French spy – What do Gen Z think of Bridget Jones?
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28:08
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Teheran to Tel Aviv. Biden states his support for Israel as threats of Iranian attack rise. The Spy Who Came In For A Quickie. The Mail’s discovered why you can’t honeytrap a French spy. Plus – I like big knickers and I cannot lie. Bridget Jones is back! What do fun-loving Gen Z think of the cig-smoki…
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Why I binned my A.I. boyfriend – Tabloids in “woke Scrabble” meltdown – Has your bloke got a secret family?
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27:48
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Bot in the name of love! Sex columnist Kate Lister’s tested out an A.I. boyfriend – and it ended in heartbreak . How to get away with a second family. Mail writer has an affair with ‘perfect man’, but things are not as they seem… Plus – A Real Game Changer. The papers think Scrabble has gone woke and …
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Trump: "Call me Nelson Mandela 2.0" – The nightmare Disney dreamland for grown-ups – "Don't wanna date me? I'll sue you!"
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31:25
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Freeee… Donald Trump! The former US president is comparing himself to Nelson Mandela and we’re perplexed. Social mousing. Disney is building a curated living community in California. Why? Plus – All’s fair in love and law. An American man is suing women he claims ‘ruined his love life’ with nasty comm…
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Why the Mail hates Angela Rayner – Hardest Geezer’s Africa run: record faker? – How to be a love rat
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27:55
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Neighbourhood Watch. The Mail are going after where Labour Deputy leader Angela Rayner lives. Jog on. Russ Cook aka ‘The Hardest Geezer’ has run the length of Africa. Plus – Three more reps of kissing strangers! How to cheat on your partner, according to an infidelity coach. Miranda Sawyer is joined b…
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Grindr MP’s blackmail bungle – The Amy Winehouse film nobody wants – Blind Date is back. WHY?
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33:14
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Honey Trap Sex Scandal! Tory MP gives his mates’ phone numbers to shady person on Grindr. What could go wrong? Too Soon. The Times insists on telling us about Amy Winehouse’s men. Plus – We are so back. Blind Date might be returning and we’re here for the nostalgia. Miranda Sawyer is joined by politic…
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Labour set to smash Blair’s victory – Buried in balls! The Guardian finds its happy place – Have you got the perfect number of friends?
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32:32
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Things can only get better! Labour are on track for an election victory larger than Blair’s in 1997. Don’t worry, be happy. Can The Guardian find its fun side? A reporter goes to a ballpit to find out. Plus – Why can’t we be friends? The i works out the perfect number of mates. Jacob Jarvis is joined …
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Horror at killing of Brit aid workers – Could AI bots land you a new job? – Jonathan Ross tells you to stop showering
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33:04
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: “Completely unacceptable”. World leaders react as an Israeli air strike kills aid workers. Humanoid Resources. The Times investigates whether AI can help you land a new job. Plus – Dish the Dirt! Why you should shower less, according to Johnathan Ross Jacob Jarvis is joined by CNN comment writer Holly…
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Sunak wants to fine the homeless – Gwyneth Paltrow’s laser dildo – The world’s creepiest nepo baby
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30:28
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Rough sleeping. The Conservatives are pondering whether to fine the homeless thousands of pounds. Laser focus! The Times’ has the scoop on the new self improvement devices you don’t need. Plus – Mum’s the word. Liz Hurley’s son Damian is in the spotlight – with questions over his credentials beyond fa…
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Special guests Boris Johnson and Liz Truss review the papers
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In today’s special edition, we’re thrilled to be joined by two former Prime Ministers to look at the hot news stories of the day. On the agenda: Maths for Meals. Rishi Sunak wants kids to pass numeracy tests for free school meals. Penny Pinchers. Piggy banks to be accepted as deposits for 0.00003% mortgages. Plus – Generation Sex. A Guardian journa…
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Monkey Business. We tell the story of Honshu, the Japanese macaque’s highland adventure. Can’t get no Satisfaction! The Daily Mail highlights the plight of a mother of 5 who has never climaxed. Plus – The Famine Queen. We take a look at the legacy of Queen Victoria and then wash our mouths out with so…
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Sorted for Eels and Whizz – Stop getting Easter wrong! – Romance is dead: Inside the crush crash
35:10
35:10
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35:10
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Coked Up Crustaceans. Sewage scandal leaves sealife high as a flying fish. Pulp crucifixion. The Easter culture wars are here, and The Telegraph is leading the charge. Plus – Fancy that! The Independent laments the ‘crush crash’, but what is it? Jacob Jarvis is joined by LBC host Natasha Devon and com…
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What’s Prince Harry got to do with P Diddy? – Bum notes! It's time to talk about pegging – Kim Wrong-Un: North Korea versus Alan Titchmarsh
27:48
27:48
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27:48
We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Tenuous Royal Connection. How have the papers managed to connect Prince Harry to the P Diddy raid? Strapper’s delight. Give pegging a chance, says the i’s doyenne of sex columnists Kate Lister i. Plus – Mission Kim Possible! Why on earth did North Korea blur out Alan Titchmarsh’s trousers? Miranda Saw…
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Trump narrowly escapes going bust – Are you a Bonking Boomer or an Anxious Alpha? – Nadine Dorries is feeling sexy at 66
28:12
28:12
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We read the papers so you don’t have to. Today: Don Poorleone. Former President and fake tan enthusiast Donald Trump manages to escape financial disaster for now. The Generational Game. The Times outlines the hallmarks of each generation – and we disagree heartily. Plus – Hopping Nad. Nadine Dorries is feeling herself at sixty-six – and she’s telli…
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