In Search of a God

Uncut Poetry

I went to Varanasi a few weeks back, and spent time wandering the lanes, in temples, on the ghats, sitting beside the river. I was a non-sequitur: a non-believer in a holy city, amidst people who had the name of god continuously on their lips. And I saw holiness and ordinariness mesh in seamless ways. Almost like a message that a spiritual search did not entail you to be anything other than what you are - messy, complex, confused. Because that is where every journey begins. Varanasi is special because unlike other holy cities - Vrindavan, Assisi, Ujjain, Vatican - it is not a mere destination - it is the beginning of a journey. That’s why it’s co-existence as a city of chaos and one of silences, gives it a sense of transcendence. Because that is what, if you really think about it, true religion is all about. It starts with belief, not cynicism; it has intimations of doubt, bouts of questions, dollops of scientific inquiries. And the only reason a person persists is because she knows there are too many questions which the normal human experience cannot answer. And in the space of the unexplainable, we find what seems like the miraculous. We can accept it as grace, and move in our lives with a sense of utmost gratefulness. Or we can give it a name. God. The Unexplained. Mystery. Maybe - mother. In whatever way we find the Unknown, Varanasi is an immersion. With or without the holy dip. It will never leave you unaffected, unmoved or unscathed. Varanasi will hurt you - even as it holds you, heals you, makes you its own. If you liked this poem, consider listening to these other poems which talk of the holy -

• Windblown Om
• Capturing the Feeling
• When the Goddesses Depart

Follow me on Instagram at @sunilgivesup.

Get in touch with me on [email protected] The details of the music used in this episode are as follows - Lockdown by Sascha Ende
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/7658-lockdown
License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license Strange New Worlds by Sascha Ende
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10369-strange-new-worlds
License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license