I Don't Have A Point To Prove: Why Every Argument Isn't Worth The Fight The Devil You Don’t Know podcast

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Send us a text Self-judgment holds us back from authentic growth by triggering stress responses and reinforcing negative beliefs about ourselves. Perfectionism, deeply rooted in childhood experiences and amplified by social media, creates impossible standards that disconnect us from our true selves. • Our brains evolved for survival not happiness, making negativity our default mode • Self-criticism raises cortisol levels by 37%, creating physical stress responses • Gabor Maté's compassionate inquiry helps identify what unmet needs drive our self-judgment • Perfectionism in young adults has risen 33% since 1989, linked to anxiety and burnout • Social media creates unrealistic comparison traps that reinforce negative self-beliefs • Breathwork reduces cortisol and increases gray matter in the prefrontal cortex • Practicing self-compassion makes people 30% more likely to stick to their goals • Meditation isn't always pleasant but creates space for emotions that need processing • Getting comfortable with "not being okay" is essential for authentic growth • Small daily rituals like compassionate check-ins help establish healthier self-relationships For free compassionate inquiry sessions in exchange for recording for certification, email gettoknowthedevi@gmail.com Please email us at Gettoknowthedevil@gmail.com…

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Separate and Unequal: America's School Segregation Crisis 54:00

for 26 dage siden54:00

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Send us a text Educational segregation in America has reached crisis levels, with schools more segregated today than in the 1980s, despite Brown v. Board of Education supposedly ending this practice decades ago. We explore how systemic issues including funding disparities, zoning policies, and power structures maintain educational inequality across racial and economic lines. • Shocking statistics reveal non-white school districts receive $23 billion less annually than white districts • The podcast "Nice White Parents" demonstrates how gentrification can lead to school takeovers that further marginalize existing students • Personal stories about navigating school choices in New York City highlight the stark differences between educational opportunities • Security measures like metal detectors in urban schools create environments where students' nervous systems are constantly activated, making learning more difficult • Lack of trade education in schools eliminates career paths for students who might excel outside traditional academic routes • Successful models from communities in Alabama, Minneapolis, Maryland, and Connecticut show how local action can create meaningful change • The importance of trauma-informed education approaches that recognize how adversity affects learning and behavior • Dream Charter School's philosophy of "don't let your zip code define your destiny" provides a model for educational success regardless of neighborhood For free compassionate inquiry therapy sessions in exchange for recording for training purposes, email us at gettoknowthedevil@gmail.com. Follow Cleveland's writing on Substack at The Unfinished Life for more insights and reflections. Please email us at Gettoknowthedevil@gmail.com…

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I Don't Have A Point to Prove: Why Every Argument Isn't Worth the Fight 1:03:40

for 5 weeks siden1:03:40

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Send us a text In this engaging episode, we explore the ramifications of fighting over every point and why it often leads to unnecessary stress and emotional exhaustion. Through candid discussions, we share personal anecdotes that shed light on how the need to be right in our current divisive climate impacts our relationships and overall well-being. This episode uniquely draws on the reasons why politeness and effective communication are not just desirable, but essential in a time when political polarization can quickly spiral into personal conflict. Please email us at Gettoknowthedevil@gmail.com…

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Do Better Next Time 47:30

for 11 weeks siden47:30

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Send us a text Our recent episode focuses on empathy and the vital role it plays in countering division in today's world. We highlight Dave Chappelle's (SNL 50) poignant remarks on humanity, trauma, and compassion in the wake of societal upheaval, urging listeners to reflect on how they can elevate empathy in their own lives. • Exploring Chappelle's perspective on division and empathy • The necessity of compassion in mental health • Realizing the uniqueness of each individual's trauma • Mindfulness as a tool for addressing emotional reactions • Accountability as a critical component of personal growth • The importance of mutual understanding in relationships • Encouraging active practices of empathy in daily interactions • Reflecting on historical figures and their lessons for today Please email us at Gettoknowthedevil@gmail.com…

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Accountability is an Inside Job 32:48

for 12 weeks siden32:48

32:48

Send us a text This episode centers on the theme that accountability is fundamentally an inside job, exploring the connection between personal responsibility and healing through acceptance. We discuss stories of transformation, lessons from experts like Gabor Maté and Mel Robbins, and personal experiences that highlight the challenges of taking ownership in our lives. • Accountability starts with self-reflection • Insights from the Hope Program on personal transformation • The impact of societal issues on individual responsibility • Navigating relationships through acceptance and accountability • Gabor Maté’s approach to understanding personal behavior • Emphasizing the importance of letting others learn on their own • The power of asking meaningful questions to prompt self-discovery • Combining accountability with compassion for personal growth Please email us at Gettoknowthedevil@gmail.com…

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Creating Calm Amid Life's Unexpected Twists 58:30

for 13 weeks siden58:30

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Send us a text This episode navigates the complexities of emotional fatigue and the overwhelming nature of modern life. Through personal stories and discussions on societal expectations, we explore acceptance, the dangers of information overload, and the importance of living authentically. • Discussing the challenge of accepting unexpected returns in family dynamics • Reflection on emotional toll from personal experiences and holidays • Exploring the phenomenon of news fatigue and its mental impact • The role of social media in fostering exhaustion and anxiety • Addressing job dissatisfaction in the current socio-economic climate • Highlighting the importance of self-care and community connection • Practical takeaways for listeners to combat fatigue and reclaim energy - Resources recommended for further exploration in personal growth and mental health. Please email us at Gettoknowthedevil@gmail.com…

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Building Connection Through Chaos: Finding Community in Unexpected Places 1:01:00

for 18 weeks siden1:01:00

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Send us a text What happens when you blend the chaos of a kitchen flood with the warmth of a vegan Friendsgiving? Join us as we share our latest escapades, from Cleveland's ponderings of a PhD amidst his return to the office grind to Lindsay's unwavering resolve to steer clear of academia. Our Thanksgiving tales range from serene home-cooked vegan roasts to the bustling camaraderie of Friendsgiving, all while juggling Cleveland's quirky feats of knowledge and his hilarious domestic faux pas. Have you ever wondered how finding your "sangha" could transform your life? We explore the profound impact of nurturing genuine connections and how communities rooted in shared values can counter feelings of isolation. With insights drawn from cultural touchstones like "Wicked" and anecdotes from engaging support groups, we emphasize the beauty of building authentic relationships. Whether it's a nod to therapy's healing power or the joy of shared interests, like veganism, our stories illustrate the essence of feeling truly seen and supported. Please email us at Gettoknowthedevil@gmail.com…

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Navigating Life's Chaos: Embracing Connection in the Land of Confusion 1:04:44

for 20 weeks siden1:04:44

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Send us a text What happens when two therapists, bound by marriage, tackle life's chaos together? From home renovations that never seem to end to tales of a high-tech toilet that's more intelligent than we'd like to admit, our lives have been anything but dull. We've celebrated our daughter's 17th birthday and navigated the frustrating saga of our son's dorm room ceiling failures, all while finding moments of culinary joy in a vegan smoked sweet potato ravioli. This episode is a whirlwind tour of our personal adventures, filled with laughter, love, and a fair share of absurdity. As the world feels increasingly unpredictable, we find solace in the insights of Gabor Maté, reflecting on how normalcy can exist in a toxic landscape. We share our thoughts on political identity and the challenges of understanding perspectives beyond a single lens, all while trying not to trip over construction tools in our living room. There's even a humorous detour involving a flirtatious conversation about dual citizenship that might just leave you chuckling. It's a reminder that humor and human connection can be powerful anchors in turbulent times. Please email us at Gettoknowthedevil@gmail.com…

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The Work Happens Between the Sessions: Taking Ownership of Your Healing Journey 1:04:20

for 25 weeks siden1:04:20

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Send us a text What if you could take control of your healing journey and transform your life beyond therapy sessions? Join us as we uncover the often overlooked aspects of personal growth, inspired by the biblical verse Philippians 2:12. Through engaging stories—including a humorous mishap with an abandoned kitten named Arugula—we illustrate the unpredictable nature of life and the significance of perseverance and responsibility. We'll discuss why some individuals hesitate to embrace therapy, often due to the discomfort of change, and highlight the necessity of consistent effort for meaningful progress. Discover the common pitfalls couples face in therapy and the importance of communication and mutual respect to cultivate healthier relationships. By drawing parallels between therapists and gym spotters, we explore how therapists provide support rather than solutions, underscoring the need for active participation and personal responsibility. With practical advice on proactive therapy, we emphasize the value of seeking help before reaching a crisis point and the transformative journey toward emotional resilience and self-awareness. Please email us at Gettoknowthedevil@gmail.com…

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60% In: The Struggle with Partial Commitments, Investing in Self Worth for Healthier Connections 1:03:36

for 27 weeks siden1:03:36

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Send us a text Ever wondered why partial commitments can feel like a full-time strain? Join us as we crack open the emotional rollercoaster of half-hearted investments in relationships and the unique challenges faced by house husbands. Cleveland shares his candid experiences of maintaining a clean home while Lindsay spills the tea on her binge-worthy obsession with "Gilmore Girls" and her dreamy vacation plans to Nevis. Through humor and heartfelt conversations, we explore how these partial commitments impact mental health, self-esteem, and overall wellness, making a compelling case for the joys of feeling truly appreciated. Please email us at Gettoknowthedevil@gmail.com…

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Embracing Self-Awareness: The Power of Looking Inward for True Fulfillment 1:03:20

for 28 weeks siden1:03:20

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Send us a text Ever wondered why some people seem genuinely content while others constantly chase external approval? We kick off this episode reflecting on a quote from a silent retreat: "Who looks inside awakens, who looks outside dreams." This sets the stage for a profound exploration of the importance of internal validation, especially as social media and election year pressures mount. Cleveland shares a touching story about his child's decision to join a church, sparking discussions on how to support loved ones' beliefs while respecting personal boundaries. You'll laugh along as we recount a frazzled grocery store trip that ended in both overheating and overspending. Leveraging Carl Jung's insights, we shift to the critical role of introspection in fostering self-awareness and authenticity, as opposed to seeking external validation. This part of our conversation also touches on the influences of organized religion and high-control groups on our personal growth journeys. We share personal anecdotes and offer insights into how these external factors can shape, but shouldn't define, our identities. Finally, we tackle the societal obsession with labels and the toll of external validation on our well-being. Drawing from the wisdom of experts like James Sexton and John C. Maxwell, we discuss how stepping away from rigid self-identifications and the relentless demands of traditional jobs can lead to more fulfilling lives. From corporate burnout to the liberation of self-employment, our stories illustrate the journey towards true self-identity. We end with a powerful message on the necessity of internal healing and self-awareness, advocating for genuine conversations and personal satisfaction over public affirmation. Join us for this candid and thought-provoking conversation on living authentically and embracing your true self. Please email us at Gettoknowthedevil@gmail.com…

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Mindful Living: Letting Go of Rehearsing and Rehashing by Embracing the Present 1:14:08

for 29 weeks siden1:14:08

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Send us a text What happens when unsuspecting guests discover they’re at a vegan B&B? Find out as we recount our delightful stay at the Black Sheep Inn and Spa, complete with two-hour vegan breakfasts and the warm hospitality of Simon and Miranda. Plus, we give a shout-out to our loyal listener Kim, whose heartfelt note made our day, and share our excitement over our new Breville air fryer—a real game-changer in our kitchen. Todd’s woodworking skills take center stage as we celebrate his incredible craftsmanship, from hardwood floors to custom furniture. Reflecting on personal growth, we express gratitude to a former employer whose encouragement was life-changing. We then navigate the sensitive terrain of racial stereotypes and microaggressions, stressing the importance of understanding cultural contexts and rejecting harmful labels. A scandal involving a church and a lively birthday party spark deeper conversations about faith, family, and the complexities of human behavior. Mindfulness and mental well-being are crucial themes as we discuss the dangers of rehearsing and rehashing past and future events. Drawing inspiration from Stephen Covey and Albert Ellis, among others, we offer practical strategies to stay present and combat catastrophic thinking. We explore self-compassion and narrative therapy, emphasizing the importance of reframing our experiences. Tune in for valuable insights, personal stories, and resources to help you break the cycle of overthinking and live a more mindful, balanced life. Please email us at Gettoknowthedevil@gmail.com…

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Finding Freedom in Solitude: Lessons from Buffett and Twain (Bonus Episode) 3:26

for 30 weeks siden3:26

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Send us a text What if embracing your loneliness could be the key to true freedom? In this bonus episode, I steal Lindsay's microphone and take inspiration from the legendary Jimmy Buffett and the timeless wisdom of Mark Twain to explore the profound connection between solitude, authenticity, and personal liberation. Reflecting on Twain’s contemplative travels and Buffett's unique life philosophy, I discuss how being content with oneself can bring unparalleled freedom, even amid life's inevitable challenges. By examining Buffett’s unapologetic embrace of his lifestyle, we challenge the societal pressures that often lead us to live inauthentically, offering a roadmap to living without regret. Join me as I delve into deeper themes of suffering and growth, drawing insights from Gabor Maté’s belief that suffering should lead to wisdom, not bitterness. Echoing poignant reflections from figures like Dave Chappelle, we'll contemplate what it means to live and grow through adversity truly. This episode is a heartfelt invitation to reflect on your life experiences, embrace your authentic self, and find peace in solitude. Tune in for a conversation that promises to be both reflective and liberating, urging you to define what living truly means to you. Please email us at Gettoknowthedevil@gmail.com…

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Inner Narratives: The Art of Rewriting Your Life 43:21

for 31 weeks siden43:21

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Send us a text We explore seeing one's life as a story that can be rewritten, encouraging listeners to reflect on who is authoring their personal narrative. The conversation navigates the differences between living passively versus proactively, emphasizing how active control can reshape one's life story into something more authentic and fulfilling. Our episode wraps up with exploring varying levels of self-awareness and the journey of rewriting one's story. Inspired by Gabor Mate's insights, we dig into how deep-seated patterns from childhood impact adult relationships, using specific cases like Jen & Jolie from the Discovey+ show Love Off the Grid to illustrate these points. We discuss the importance of proactive living, taking risks, and self-reflection, underscoring how these elements contribute to healthier relationships and more genuine interactions. Tune in to discover how empowering choices can lead to a more fulfilling life full of authentic connections and personal growth. Please email us at Gettoknowthedevil@gmail.com…

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Stop Lying to Yourself: A Journey to Self-Honesty and Compassion 42:27

for 33 weeks siden42:27