Episode 575: Harrison Butker, Metrosexual Male

Idiots On Parade, the Too Ugly for TV Podcast

This week, the Idiots are joined by Wayne Russell, of Open Mic Pain.

00:00 Welcome!

00:44 Harrison Butker

08:10 The Dali Crew

16:44 Puff Daddy

22:10 David Copperfield

25:13 Gordon Black

29:31 Steve Bannon

—Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker said dumb things. He’s obviously a dumb person. Why does that outrage people? “Oh no, a sexist and homophobic person spoke his mind!” Isn’t it a good thing to know who the sexist, homophobic neanderthals are?

Plus, as Jake rightly points out: he was speaking at a religious college. Everything Butker said is probably part of their backwards curriculum.

—Hey, remember when that cargo ship knocked down a bridge in Baltimore? Nah, me neither. It was big news for a couple days, though, right? Well, here we are weeks and weeks later… and the crew has been sitting on the ship this entire time, trapped and bored in the Baltimore Harbor! Who knew? Not us, we’ve moved on to the next few sensationalistic stories.

—Oh boy… Sean Puff Daddy P. Diddy Combs is a piece of garbage. That’s all there is to it. I mean, we always knew he was a talentless hack who could cobble together unlistenable songs by sampling more talented artists, but whoa. He’s also an abusive douche who should be in jail.

(Prosecutors say he won’t be charged, because of the statute of limitations. Yay.)

But, that aside, knowing he’s an abusive jerk who belongs in jail, why does Fox News think we should hear what celebrities think of the newly released Puff Daddy/P. Diddy Sean Combs video?

Jake has ideas…

—nathan is hung up on terminology here… The news wrote the phrase, “Celebrated magician David Copperfield.”

Celebrated?

Really?
Well, Wayne and Jake think so, and they make a fairly compelling case for it: no basic rabbit-out-of-a-hat fella is getting invited to Jeffrey Epstein’s island.

—Staff Sergeant Gordon Black is an interesting fella. Stationed in South Korea, he met a Russian woman, and, being really smart, got into a relationship with her. No thoughts of espionage, no wondering whether or not this was a good idea…
Even better, he apparently stayed with her after a physical altercation where she stabbed him.

Welp, he’s in jail in Russia, now. Who could have seen this coming?

(Everyone. Everyone saw it coming.)

—Trump vs. Biden is the rematch no one wanted. And I get it, nobody really wants to vote for Biden. It’s literally, “But look at the alternative.”
Well, now there’s a real reason to vote Biden: let’s get Steve Bannon put in jail, and left there.

Idiots on Parade: we mock the news, so you don’t have to.

Tune in and get your giggle on.

Find Jake at @jakevevera

Find nathan at nathantimmel.com