S02 E19 | Ronaldon't, The Frank Lampard Lol-lercoaster & Chris Kamara's Lallana and Benrahma on Llamas

Footballland

Greetings Footballlanders!

After another fruitful meeting at Footballland HQ we are pleased to announce THREE new rides. OK, so one of them is just Chris Kamara solving park problems, so let's call it TWO new rides and ONE important piece of park infrastructure!

This week the world's 2nd greatest footballer, Cristiano Ronaldo, returns to the park (after being fired off into space) with The Ronaldon't, a ride which challenges guests to be as far removed from Cristiano as humanly possible. Which led us to ask ourselves, who is the football opposite of CR7? Royston Drenthe? Steve Claridge? Gazza?

Plus, Frank Lampard's interview technique of laughing then turning immediately serious has been rollercoasterised with the Frank Lampard Lol-lercoaster. There's admittedly not much to this ride - it's over very quickly, but the science of getting people to laugh and then be terrified in less than a second is pored over in great detail.

Which leads us to our third reveal of the week. It gives us great pleasure to welcome Chris Kamara as park manager, helped by his two assistants Adam Lallana and Said Benrahma on llamas up a giant set of stairs on wheels. Chris will look out for problems at footballland, which always seem to happen when he's not looking in the right place. Thankfully the Dalai Lama will be on hand to help with the things he's missed.

Please keep sending us your ride ideas! We feature them all!

Lots of love,

Anthony, Mark and Ryan

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