014: Austin Discusses Returning Home Early From The MTC Early Homecoming: Insights From Missionaries Who Returned Early podcast

49:16

At the time of this recording, Josie had been home from her mission for only eight months. Her feelings are raw and poignant as she shares the ups and downs of her mission. She struggled adjusting to mission life and would frequently call her mom to connect and feel better (which wasn't allowed). She developed chronic stress hives and frequently felt like she wasn't a successful missionary despite all the service she was doing. Josie eventually decided to go home which was another adjustment for her. She suffered from some PTSD and had a hard time with church and mission related stuff. She went to therapy which helped her process a lot of what she was feeling. Josie is still working through much of the emotions and feelings of an early return, but she is also moving forward with her life in productive and healthy ways. This is a great episode for anyone else experiencing the raw emotions of an early return, looking to know that they are not alone, that things WILL get better, and that God absolutely still loves them!…

Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early

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060: Amanda shares her story of hope and healing after having her leg amputated below the knee after getting hit by a car on her mission 39:20

for 2 years siden39:20

39:20

Amanda Evergreen--also known as the One-Footed Phoenix--joined me to share her story of hope and healing after having her leg amputated below the knee after getting hit by a car on her mission. Amanda walks me through her struggles with mental illness on her mission before getting hit by the car, the negative response she received while on her mission when she couldn't continue to work, and then a 3.5 year struggle with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome before the decision to amputate was made. Amanda spent some time very, very angry with God for letting this happen and wondering why He had allowed this to happen. However, as she's healed, she has been able to see blessings come into her life as a result of being an amputee. She now has a platform where she can regularly help other disabled individuals and share her faith and testimony. While she still has hard days, she sees the Lord's hand in her life still and is grateful that she is still able to reach out and help others and bring them to Christ. Amanda's Information YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1qNp7VyV-hJ5E4iNUVZ4Wg Instagram: @one_footed_phoenix Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/One-Footed-Phoenix-100075115887812/…

Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early

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059: Cody shares his story of healing from narcissistic abuse while on his mission 1:00:36

for 2 years siden1:00:36

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Cody endured bullying in childhood and in his teenage years at school and at church. Despite this, he has a deep love for the gospel and still desired to serve a mission. He served in the south and it was a very difficult mission--not only because he was serving in the Bible belt of America, but because he dealt with narcissistic abuse from many that he worked with. He was sent home after dealing with a lot of gaslighting, fear tactics, and demands of "perfect obedience." Upon returning home, Cody felt like a failure and began also dealing with health problems for which he met with many doctors. He suffered a lot of emotional (and subsequently physical) turmoil for years before he learned about empaths which helped him reach a hopeful turning point. He learned a lot about narcissism, how to identify it, and to protect himself against it and he shares his thoughts and some solutions in this episode. Cody and I also discussed church and mission culture and what changes/improvements ought to be considered and made to help Cody's experience not to be repeated by others in the future.…

Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early

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058: Edina shares her story of returning home early to help her mom with depression 37:50

for 2 years siden37:50

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Edina lives in Hungary and was 27 years old when she joined the church. Eight years later, at the age of 35, she decided to serve a mission. It was not an easy decision for her, but she chose to do it because of her love and trust in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. After a short time, she returned early because her mother was very depressed. She chose to come home to help her mom. Mental health is not well understood in Hungary (or anywhere, really), and she had a hard time finding support. She began to struggle with depression herself and even suicidal thoughts. In the midst of all this though she recognized little miracles or inspiration from heaven that helped her move through her trials and she was able to help her mother become stable. She learned that the Atonement of Jesus Christ can help us to act when we are depressed and she gained a greater understanding that those suffering from depression need an extra amount of love and friends who will listen to their struggles rather than criticize their failures to act. Additionally, she realized that all returned missionaries (early or not) need time and love to readjust back into normal life. She very much hopes that by sharing her story, others will receive the hope they need to know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love them and to move forward with faith in a brighter future.…

Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early

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057: Brady shares his story of returning home early due to anxiety and depression 44:57

for 2 years siden44:57

44:57

Having been born and raised in the church, Brady was excited to serve a mission. He had a bit of anxiety in the beginning as he adjusted to Brazilian culture and the language. After he became a district leader, his anxiety increased quite a bit and depression came along for the ride. It was so confusing and frustrating to sort out what was happening to him. He had a great mission president, but unfortunately some other missionaries said some hurtful and unhelpful things. Upon returning home early, he visited with therapists and doctors (for medication) and continued to try to understand what was happening with his mental health. Nine years later, Brady still struggles with anxiety and depression, but he has many words of hope and comfort for those who are also struggling.…

Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early

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056: Wallis shares her story of returning home early to her dad declining from ALS after suffering from depression and self-harming on her mission 48:13

for 2 years siden48:13

48:13

Wallis served for four months in Calgary before coming home due to depression and self-harming. She had an amazing support group--including her companions, mission president, and parents (so if you fit any of these categories and want to know how to help your missionary, this is a GREAT episode for you!), but also came home to a heartbreaking situation with her dad being newly diagnosed with ALS. Wallis walks us through her journey of depression, self-harm, adjusting to her dad's declining state and eventual passing, all while trying to care for herself and keeping her faith strong. She talks about how she moved forward and how she is doing five years later and why others in similar situations can still have hope for a great life. Want to share your story? Please follow this link to fill out an application: https://bit.ly/3SBqDLr Interested in my book? Please purchase from this link with Cedar Fort . It's probably the least expensive option and I get a little extra kickback :). If you prefer audio or ebook, you can find it on Amazon .…

Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early

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055: Haley shares her story of choosing to return home after four weeks due to physical illness 36:59

for 2 years siden36:59

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Haley served for a total of four weeks--three in the MTC and one in the field--before choosing to return home early due to physical illness. While she had support at home, Haley still struggled with feelings of shame and loss, as well as anger towards God. In this episode she tells me her story of repairing her relationship with God, owning her decision to come home early, and working through the emotions of an early return. She also talks about how she recognized that returning to the field was not the right decision for her. This is a great episode for anyone struggling with the emotions that accompany an early return, particularly if the mission was much shorter than anticipated.…

Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early

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054: Psychologist and Life Coach, Cortland Watson, discusses the psychological and emotional aspects involved in returning home early from a mission 57:00

for 2 years siden57:00

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Psychologist and Life Coach, Cortland Watson, joined me on the podcast to discuss many of the psychological and emotional aspects involved in returning home early from a mission. Using personal stories and insights from his life, his career, and his education, Cortland guides the listener through learning more about emotions, identity, expectations, failure, shame, growth vs. fixed mindset, and so much more. He offers strategies for moving forward in life with connection. Cortland also addresses those struggling with abuse from others due to an early return and those contemplating suicide. This is an amazing episode for anyone struggling with returning home early from a mission. Want to learn more about Cortland? Perhaps schedule a free consultation for life coaching? Please visit his website at everonwardcoaching.com He will be presenting at BYU's Life After Loss Conference on March 18, 2023: https://lifeafterloss.ce.byu.edu/home Want to share your story? Please follow this link to fill out an application: https://bit.ly/3SBqDLr My editor, Brandon Kellogg, is great! If you are looking for an inexpensive audio or video editor, please reach out to Brandon at brandon.kelloggrm@gmail.com. Interested in my book? Please purchase from this link with Cedar Fort . It's probably the least expensive option and I get a little extra kickback :). If you prefer audio or ebook, you can find it on Amazon.…

Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early

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053: Meg shares her story of deep depression due to hiding her sexuality and experiencing chronic pain 38:23

for 2 years siden38:23

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Meg returned home early after three months of service in Fresno, California. She spiraled into a deep depression due to hiding her sexuality and experiencing chronic pain. Her mission president and his wife did the best with the information that they had but left her with trauma because they didn’t understand how to address mental health. In this episode, Meg talks about her journey of self-acceptance, better understanding the Atonement, helping others on their journeys, and the importance of better mental health trainings for leaders. My editor, Brandon Kellogg, is great! If you are looking for an inexpensive audio or video editor, please reach out to Brandon at brandon.kelloggrm@gmail.com. Interested in my book? Please purchase from this link with Cedar Fort . It's probably the least expensive option and I get a little extra kickback :). If you prefer audio or ebook, you can find it on Amazon.…

Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early

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052: Nicholas shares his story of returning home early due to trauma caused by abuse from a member 42:40

for 3 years siden42:40

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Growing up in the church, Nicholas never knew if the gospel was for him and he struggled to go to church because of his anxiety and lack of desire. After receiving his patriarchal blessing, and being amazed by the things stated in his blessing, he developed a testimony of the church and decided for himself to serve a mission. He served in Denver, Colorado but soon suffered from pain and verbal abuse, which caused him to suffer from mental health issues. He also suffered some verbal abuse from his mission president, which he was later able to confront his mission president about, resolve, and forgive. He eventually decided to go home. By staying firm in his commitment to God, Nicholas has stayed firm in his testimony and been able to move forward with his life and help others. My editor, Brandon Kellogg, is great! If you are looking for an inexpensive audio or video editor, please reach out to Brandon at brandon.kelloggrm@gmail.com.…

Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early

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050: A chat with author Destiny Yarbro who returned home early twice for physical and mental health reasons, and now helps early-returned missionaries all over the world 44:45

for 3 years siden44:45

44:45

Destiny Yarbro returned home early twice. The first time she returned home early from the MTC for physical health reasons. The second time, she went to the mission field and then returned early for mental health reasons. She not only felt like she had failed the Lord upon this second return, but she truly felt like she had committed a transgression (even though she hadn't) because the Lord didn't heal her and so must not want her in the field anymore. Destiny experienced a chronic illness where she had to lay horizontally for months on end. This was extremely difficult emotionally, but eventually she began to feel peace and joy again as she made goals for herself and accomplished them. She called them her "horizontal goals," and they included spiritual goals and secular goals. As she worked towards these goals, she began to see miracles in her life, some of which eventually led to her serving a service mission while at home. Destiny has since gone on to write a book to help early-returned missionaries, work with the Church's missionary department to make the service mission program what it is today, and serve members of the Church all over the world. She does all of this while still dealing with chronic physical and mental health issues. Destiny is absolutely incredible and literally anyone and everyone would benefit from listening to her story. Destiny's Book: https://amzn.to/3pGslNO Destiny's Email Address: yarbro.destiny@gmail.com Kris Doty-Yells's article for parents: https://bit.ly/3EyylOK…

Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early

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049: Addie shares the many emotional, mental, and physical health trials she experienced on her mission before ultimately being sent home due to COVID-19 44:07

for 3 years siden44:07

44:07

Addie had always desired to serve a mission and when her call came, she was excited to go! However, a few months into her mission, she was emotionally abused by her companion and housemates. It was a very isolating experience for her. She also began having some physical health problems due to allergies. And, to top it off, she suffered a lot from OCD as well. Despite these things, Addie did manage to continue on until the COVID-19 pandemic struck and she was sent home along with thousands of other missionaries. She talks about her struggles on the mission as well as what it was like to go home due to the pandemic and the emotions and struggles that came with that. Furthermore, Addie told me that she didn't love her mission and we discussed the cultural implications of that. This episode will comfort anyone who had a rough time on their mission, whether they served the expected amount of time or not, to know that they are not alone and to find a path forward.…

Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early

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048: Jackson shares his story of returning from his mission early twice for physical health reasons 39:36

for 3 years siden39:36

39:36

In this episode, Jackson shares his story of returning home early twice. The first time, he served for eight months before physical health problems required that he come home. The second time, he served for seven months (in the same mission) before a different set of physical health struggles struck him and he again needed to return home early. Through all of this, Jackson had an amazing support system who helped him to talk kindly to himself and put things in their proper perspective. He tells me why he chose to stay home the second time, takeaways he learned from this experience that will serve him well in life, and gives great advice to those who have come home early for any reason.…

Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early

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047: Jacob shares his story of returning home early for physical health reasons, dealing with judgement, and ceasing his habit of seeking validation from others. 36:54

for 3 years siden36:54

36:54

Jacob started his mission journey long before he even got his mission call. Overweight and insecure, Jacob decided to make some changes. He got into body-building and realized it was a way from him to grow and push himself. He decided to apply this new mentality to all areas of his life, including spirituality, and eventually decided to serve a mission. However, as soon as he arrived in his mission, he began experiencing breathing problems, possibly due to the recurrence of a childhood illness, and then later had a hard time swallowing. He managed to stay for seven months, but finally needed to go home. He stated that he believes that if he'd been able to take care of his physical health more, especially through more exercise, these illnesses would not have bothered him as much, or perhaps not have occurred at all. His health improved dramatically once he resumed his workout routine. Jacob was lucky to have a lot of support from those around him, although he did also deal with some judgement which really bothered him for awhile. Ultimately though, Jacob learned to stop seeking validation from others and to love and accept himself as he is, to set goals for himself, and to understand more fully his divine potential.…

Early Homecoming: Insights from Missionaries who Returned Early

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046: Violet tells her story of returning home early due to depression and anxiety and then serving a service mission in the San Jose area 45:24

for 3 years siden45:24