The Illusion of Bullying, The Reality of Harassment

CAOS

In this podcast, Alan talks about the 'illusion' of bullying where a common difficulty for people having difficult relationship challenges at work is that if they wish to prove it is bullying it "...is like a ghost, we may think we have seen it, but if we try to pin it down in order to prove it exists we find ourselves clutching at thin air." Investigations into bullying allegations commonly fail to come to a conclusion and while they continue and also at their inconclusive end, the people involved experience various emotional and psychological challenges and will often be signed off work as a result of diagnosed stress. The usual processes involved in investigating bullying leave those affected feeling passive and powerless to have any influence over their situation. This arises predominantly because no legal definition of bullying exists and so any attempts to ascertain whether it has occurred or not are thwarted by the subjectivity of the situation. This leads to accusations of a cover-up or a white wash or conspiracy but in fact it is due to the fundamentally ineffective and unworkable attempt to respond to bullying in the same way as harassment is responded to. But harassment IS legally defined and so proving its existence is not like 'proving you have seen a ghost', it is real and observable and with sufficient evidence, a claim of harassment can more easily and effectively be proven.

Alan goes on to talk about various consequences of this confusion between the illusion of bullying and the reality of harassment and why bullying allegations need to be treated differently - to the extent that letting go of the very idea of 'bullying' in order to focus on more specific and useful descriptions of the difficult behaviours involved in any broken or difficult workplace relationship would be a more effective way of dealing with the situation. This is where mediation and conflict coaching and effective management practices are more suitable in that their focus is not on 'proving that bullying has occurred' and so that unnecessary detour can be avoided. Instead, those directly involved can play an active role in improving the situation through being supported to restore the broken relationship and create a new way of interacting that is more respectful, creative and productive than that which existed previously.

YouTube video by Lawyer about Fair Work Commission https://youtu.be/wWzCj9jUaMA

Alan Sharland has been a Mediator and Conflict Coach for over 25 years working in a wide range of dispute situations including neighbour disputes, workplace disputes, complaints (NHS, Special Educational Needs, University Student), group disputes and others.

He was Director of a community mediation service in West London for 11 years and now runs CAOS Conflict Management. https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk

If you would like Conflict Coaching via Skype for FaceTime, please contact Alan via this webpage:

https://www.caos-conflict-management.co.uk/conflict-coaching.html

Connect with Alan on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/alansharland

Check out and like the Communication and Conflict Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/communicationandconflict/

Visit the Communication and Conflict website: https://www.communicationandconflict.com

BOOKS:

How to Resolve Bullying in the Workplace: Stepping Out of the Circle of Blame to Create an Effective Outcome for All https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Resolve-Bullying-Workplace-Effective/dp/1511941316

A Guide To Effective Communication for Conflict Resolution - How Mindful Communication Supports Growth Through Conflict. Purchase the book at this link on amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1790335221

CREDITS

Outro Music: All Colours Pt 6 by Bob Holroyd, from album Hollowman: https://music.apple.com/us/album/hollowman/677559200