The one thing that changed how I talk to myself and my people

Behind The Glass with Charlotte Eriksson

Today I'm sharing one simple idea from the book Yes, And by Kelly Leonard that actually changed the way I speak to myself and to other people.

I’m very critical of myself. I have high standards, I am my own worst critic and toughest coach. Whenever I stand in front of a decision, I used to always say.. “yes, but…” “Yes, but… I am not skilled enough, good enough, pretty enough, popular enough,.. “Yes, but, I don’t have the contacts, the resources, the energy.” “Yes, but, remember what happened last time, yes but things don’t ever go that way, yes but be more realistic, yes but but but but…"

What happens the second you say BUT is that you interrupt the flow of the yes. It’s basically a no.

The premise of this book I'll be talking about in today's episode is: imagine switching that but out to and… Yes, and…

You will then start saying things like ... “Yes, and... this has been challenging before so I’m going to have to be real smart about the plan forward." “Yes, and, since you don’t have those resources you’re going to have to put in some extra research”. "Yes and, since it feels little overwhelming right now you can ask for help or take your time. “Yes, and you did the best you could.”

See that difference? Switching out one word changed the whole vibe! It went from highlighting the obstacles and negatives to focusing on the ways around them.

BUT indicates an argument. You’re saying NOT REALLY. You’re saying I DON’T AGREE.

AND indicated that you’re building upon something. You’re adding. You’re adding another angle, another twist, another thought.

Instead of cutting down your own or someone else's idea or thought with BUT, you can just add to it and invite them or yourself to see things from a new angle by using AND.

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Find my books at www.charlotteeriksson.com/book
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