Bedste Story Must Be Told-podcasts (2024)

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Now That’s What I Call Story Vol 1 - Q&A and Preview 48:36

1M ago48:36

48:36

The bell is ringing, children! Come inside, children. Hear about our new album: Now That’s What I Call Story - Volume One, children. We talk with Liturgical Director Carl about his musical deeds, children. Plus, children, there is a long-awaited Q&A! Hear us drop the veil and plant Truths in your heart, children. Children!NTWICS Vol 1: https://open…

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86. The Swollen Mouth of Family 31:08

5M ago31:08

31:08

Gums of pink, are gonna stink / Gums of red, are fonts of dread. Teeth are unwelcome in our parish! Yet, hygiene is a virtue. Ohh, we’re complicated—no easy answers in the Story! You must yeeeearn.InvocationThe Washing of ChalmsLiturgical Reading: “The Swollen Mouth of Family”Concluding PrayerGrease unto thee. Be sure to check out the newest video …

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175. Gribbies 2 37:32

5M ago37:32

37:32

Let the Story reduce you to flesh mulch! Let the Story compress you and your every neighbor into a lovehogpile. Let go and let STORY. We’re back, BABY, ohhhhhh for a just widdle bit of Story truuuuuth. Get ready for the highest concentration of annoying names any Story has ever held! Uh oh!DEAD BIRD SONGS: https://www.patreon.com/reidfaylorPATREON:…

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Dead Bird Songs - Chat and Preview 37:24

9M ago37:24

37:24

Oooh, children, gather around for Vacation Story School. While the clerg' takes a breather, they gather to discuss and share the first chapter of Brother Reid (Reid Faylor's) audiobook novel: Dead Bird Songs.If you wanna skip right to the juicy audiobook chapter, go to 22:29, otherwise enjoy our chat about writing, editing, and peeing in pockets.Su…

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MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT: The Story Will Be Told 33:43

10M ago33:43

33:43

We've got some BIG NEWS for all of you congregants courtesy of Brother Reid and Pastor Andrew, so if you're curious as to what's happening with TSMBT, it might be best to tune in now! We love and cherish each of you and remember - THE STORY WILL BE TOLD!ACTION BOYS: https://youtu.be/2DkqRs5TZhUPATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbtGOODNIGHT MY LOVE…

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174. The Woman for the Man - Guest Preachers Betsy Winchester, Steve O’Brien, and Jackie Zebrowski 1:03:03

1y ago1:03:03

1:03:03

Two outcasts are excluded even from apocalypse and must navigate a changed world. If there is truth to be found it is in each other. Return to where your Story began so it may now end.Guest Preachers: Betsy Winchester (TSMBT short film The Dog The Boy; VO artist betsywinchester.com IG: @betsywindy; formerly of Murderfist)Steve O’Brien (TSMBT short …

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173. Day for Night - Guest Preacher Betsy Winchester, Featuring Marcus Parks 35:21

1+ y ago35:21

35:21

A child suffers mute the unutterable horrors of our past. Every step forward is a descent. Trust no family or institution that worships the god of your destruction.Guest Preacher: Betsy Winchester (TSMBT short film The Dog The Boy; current VO artist betsywinchester.com IG: @betsywindy; formerly of Murderfist and Skulk, The Hulking)Featuring: Marcus…

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172. The Fool and The Worm 50:35

1+ y ago50:35

50:35

I’m a BIG SHOT at my job. I belong to an ELITE group of people who make work their ENTIRE identity. My testicles are made out of BRASS and I have NO outside relationships. What IS my job? Oh, I torture a big fucking worm. If I don’t do it someone else will!Featuring:Holden McNeely as the Taurus Salesman, PriestEd Larson as Announcer, Man in CoatJac…

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171. Changing. Do You See? 33:08

1+ y ago33:08

33:08

YUCK. GROSS. I don’t care how we’re related, family member! You aren’t family no more after what you did nuh UH. You’re what my family calls a hot sloppy “turd,” and I’m gonna scrape you off my boot. How did you become such a humble bootscraping? Uh, through CHANGES, bucko.Featuring:John Moreno as Dr. GreeneBetsy Winchester-Parks as Katherine and t…

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170. Beneath The Compass Rose 43:08

1+ y ago43:08

43:08

Some islands are SCARY—like Nantucket. Other islands will steal your very essence, halve it, and merge it with other unwitting victims—like Nantucket. THIS island? Shhhhh it’s a seeeecccreeeeettttt.Guest Author: Katherine Monasterio (author of The Age of Windpower)The Winners of the Big Surf Competition Are…The SwitchLiturgical Reading: “Beneath th…

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169. The Many Adventures of Chalmstopher Robin 27:45

1+ y ago27:45

27:45

Oh bother, I’m a silly old bear. It’d be a SHAME if I were to MEET MY DEMISE. I hope nothing bad happens to me and my ragtag group of interspecies friends! Nothing that could stop us from loving that BOY. Oh bother!Confronting ChalmsChalms’ truth: “The Many Adventures of Chalmstopher Robin”The Public DomainA ProphecyBags PackedGosh oh golly what’s …

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168. God’s Hotel - Guest Chaplain Jackie Zebrowski 34:02

1+ y ago34:02

34:02

Your father is watching you, and he’s SHAKING his HEAD. What did you do to deserve such a practical assessment? Did you follow your dreams? Probably! Nothing cheeses a dad like the passion of progeny. Guest Chaplain: Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 and LPN Deep Dives ACOTAR podcasts, @jackthatworm on Instagram)Guest Author: Libbie Grant (Future Saint of a…

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167. Cardinal Ed in Top Gunners: Mad Rich 36:58

1+ y ago36:58

36:58

WOOOOSH! Kaboom! “I gotta fly this big bird REALLY fast!” Wow, aren’t airplanes neat? Gosh, what CAN’T the military-industrial complex do? If there’s anything, I don’t wanna know. Fly a jet into my eye and pop it out my heart, so I die filled with AIRPLANE.Inside Devon’s comaLiturgical Reading: “Cardinal Ed in Top Gunners: Mad Rich”A prophecy PROFO…

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166. Are You Afraid of the Story: Three Wishes 46:43

1+ y ago46:43

46:43

Look! A shooting star! Close your eyes and make a wish. Are you doing it? Good … good. What’s that? It feels like someone is stealing your wallet? Shh shh, that’s just the wish doing its thiiing. Hush, child, and next time: remember to carry CASH, baybeeeee.Wishes from Congregants Brother Reid’s Wish: “Truthy Truthy”More Wishes for Cheddar-Tossin ‘…

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165. The Boy: Omega Rising - A TSMBT Silver Streaming+ Free Trial! 40:01

2y ago40:01

40:01

It’s always the BOY! The BOY the BOY the BOY! Behind the curtain? The BOY! Under the floor? The BOY! Hiding inside your mouth, yanking on your tongue and poking your tonsils? THE BOY. The only thing better than HIM is a free trial of the new, very real TSMBT Silver Streaming+! It’s the future of content!Featuring:Henry Zebrowski (Last Podcast on th…

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164. Goodnight My Love 6 - Featuring MJ Knefel 55:04

2y ago55:04

55:04

Goodnight My Love is now on sale as a novella: https://a.co/d/33wdnvxIn this, the 6th and final part of Goodnight My Love, we finally say Goodnight … but to WHOM? My Love? Be honest: why are you even reading the episode description? Huh, Chester? You KNOW what the deal is. Just honk on in, ya goob!Featuring:MJ Knefel (Page 7)Steve O’Brien (xmas fut…

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163. Goodnight My Love 5 - Featuring MJ Knefel 44:34

2y ago44:34

44:34

Goodnight My Love is now on sale as a novella: https://a.co/d/33wdnvxNo one ever talks about what religion aliens are. Is it Protestant? I bet a lot of them are Methodists. If I met an alien, I’d ask it two questions: 1) are you receptive to internalizing shame? 2) have you heard the good word of the Story?Goodnight My Love continues with TEEN SAM.…

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162. Goodnight My Love 4 - Guest Chaplain Jackie Zebrowski 34:32

2y ago34:32

34:32

Goodnight My Love is now on sale as a novella: https://a.co/d/33wdnvxGrandmas and Grandpas will give you a Bible and then YELL at you. Can’t trust a Grandma to buy the right Cro-Croa, can’t ask a Grandpa to turn off the TV. Ughh, but sometimes: you need ‘em. Today, we return to the Goodnight My Love series for the first of three concluding parts. L…

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The 522 Club False Holiday Special 35:01

2y ago35:01

35:01

Wowee wow wow! Is it the false holiday already? Gosh oh fuck, what a blesséd surprise! Join the clergy as we goof and gab our way through the falsest holiday of them all, with nary a commercial or six! That's right, the 522 Club has for THIS EPISODE dropped its patreon veil and is blooming in every ear far n wide OK???We’ll have a buncha new episod…

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161. In Violet Light 35:06

2y ago35:06

35:06

It’s always raining here. The rain will soak you cold, but it is your task that will break you. Freedom is trapped inside the box, and it is everything outside that is a prison.InvocationPetitionsLiturgical Reading: “In Violet Light”Concluding RemarksWe’ll have a special lil loosey goosey holiday special for ya in a couple weeks. Return!MERCH: http…

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160. Plunk! 23:52

2y ago23:52

23:52

Witness as Brother Reid and Pastor Andrew pitch their hot new film experience: Plunk! Is this their big break? Is the church done for? What does it sound like when a battery leaves a human colon? Listen to find out!Meeting Mr. P.P. Brothers“Plunk!”Concluding RemarksIn two weeks, tune in for whatever is to FOLLOW.Stock music from Envato.com is used …

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159. Rakija 32:32

2y ago32:32

32:32

There are photos of you lost in a drawer, floating in a liminal space, waiting to be seen. You will recognize the face but not the scene, know your age but not the year. Our past is a secret; it is better to pray for loss than for revelation. InvocationBrother Reid’s Big NewsLiturgical Reading: RakijaDepartureCome back in two weeks, and witness our…

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158. Miss Paker’s Cats - Guest Preacher Julie Rosing 36:50

2y ago36:50

36:50

Curiosity killed no cat—it was POISON. That rotten child, that BOY did it. His face is every child’s face Miss Paker will see, as she instructs the children in the Truth of her Lord. Guest Preacher: Julie Rosing (www.ineedana.com)InvocationChildren’s AwardsLiturgical Reading: Miss Paker’s CatsClosing, DisrobingFourteen days are required for the Sto…

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157. An Intruder Invoked - Guest Preacher Marcus Parks 39:49

2y ago39:49

39:49

An Intruder has intruded upon the livestock, a malefactor produced by dining on death. Yearn for it. Search the brains for its presence, not unlike a gold panner. Yup, real gooey labor, but rewarding.Guest Preacher: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space)InvocationPetitions for Patreon Congregants TrueLiturgical Reading: An Intrud…

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156. It Was A Monday... 35:51

2+ y ago35:51

35:51

It is vital while listening to this Story to not get sidetracked, lost in the details, or thrown off course from your original aim. To amble, disengage focus, or, in other words, become distracted. No! Pay attention! Lest you forget the reason you began to begin with, from the beginning, until the end of where the beginning began.A Seance ProfoundL…

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155. Peter Robot Saves Wendy's - Guest Preacher Holden McNeely 29:24

2+ y ago29:24

29:24

BIG SCIENCE NEWS: scientists created the ANNOYING ROBOT beep boop! Uhhh knock knock, who’s there? It’s the future of ROBOT. Look out, because an annoying robot can do what no robot could do before: manage a thriving fast food chain OK???Guest Preacher: Holden McNeely (Wizard and the Bruiser & Page 7 podcasts, twitch.tv/holdenatorsho)The Clergy’s We…

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154. Howard 28:42

2+ y ago28:42

28:42

You are the life of your elders. They go to bed thinking about you. Give them a call. Share your life. Without it, they won’t have one. Guest voices: John Moreno, Betsy WinchesterInvocationDismissalsLiturgical Reading: HowardClosing StatementsUm, come back ok? Please? The Story is so LONELY without you. You have to PROMISE. Meet the Story here in t…

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153. I'm A Bustling Beehive 17:34

2+ y ago17:34

17:34

Lotions, candles, and hand sanitizers: turn me into these when I die. I gotta BASK in seasonal scents, and if you give me a sales event? Ohhh you can digest me in your mechanical colon for a WEEK, dear overlord. Become a part of the loving corporate body!InvocationPastor Andrew’s Coerced TestimonyLiturgical Reading: I’m a Bustling BeehiveClosing St…

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152. The Anxiolytic 27:39

2+ y ago27:39

27:39

Are you n-n-n-nervous? Does it prevent you from serving our glorious economy? For SHAME! Remember this one truth: all mental health is secondary to the will of the oligarchs, ok????InvocationLiturgical Reading: The AnxiolyticFurther FracturesThe Story has a HOT sniff of you, and it can now find you wherever you live. Expect its knock in two weeks!M…

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151. Two Testicles in the Indiana Clay 33:16

2+ y ago33:16

33:16

Meiosis is the process by which cells cut themselves in half to make halfling children wriggling alone in the dark incomplete forever. A farming accident is the process by which Sal lost his danglin’ nuts. Learn how the two are CONNECTED.InvocationPetitions for the Newly GreastisedLiturgical Reading: Two Testicles in the Indiana ClayConclusionsYou …

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150. The Inevitability of Death 38:34

2+ y ago38:34

38:34

Lay down in the dirt and take a lil nap called DEATH. Yep! The Story is here to tell you: ain’t no one gonna stay alive forever except a few jellyfish. Accept your demise and send your memories to hell, uh huh.InvocationPetitions for Patreon CongregantsLiturgical Reading: The Inevitability of DeathClosing ApologiesThe Story will find you again in t…

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149. Warmth and Dissolution - Guest Chaplain Jackie Zebrowski 30:47

2+ y ago30:47

30:47

In their masses, human beings amplify emotion until the smallest sensations become shared, tangible links. But we are floating alone in the void and cannot remember touch. Recall human contact and become confused!Guest: Chaplain Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm)InvocationRobotLiturgical Reading: Warmth and DissolutionClosing Stat…

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148. The 6th Annual Intergalactic God Congress 39:41

2+ y ago39:41

39:41

This TUESDAY TUESDAY TUESDAY, Gods will come from near and far to DUKE IT OUT. Which God has what it takes? Ohhhh take a listen, and hear how your personal God fares in the 6th Annual Intergalactic God Congress!InvocationAnnouncement about Stickers, Live ShowLiturgical Reading: The 6th Annual Intergalactic God CongressClosing StatementsCheck back i…

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147. Undoing Nocturnal 32:09

2+ y ago32:09

32:09

Hoo hoo, says the owl. Then the owl says, boo hoo hoo. Avian tears are a delicacy, and even geniuses will spend their grant money to ensure ornithological agony. Sorry birds! Mice gotta chew, cats gotta scratch, and humans gotta CRUEL.InvocationPsalm ReadingLiturgical Reading: Undoing NocturnalClosing StatementsStory comes ‘round these parts every …

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146. The Great Flood 38:13

2+ y ago38:13

38:13

Drip drip, get slippery. Splat splat, get WET. Water’s comin’, and it’s gonna SOAK ya, bub. Down to the BONE. Unless you don’t believe in the shivers, then in that case: there’s no water at ALL.InvocationPetitions for Real Good CongregantsLiturgical Reading: The Great FloodClosing StatementsMore STORY in two weeks. Until then: stay DRY, chut.New sh…

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BONUS: Best of the 522 Club 51:31

2+ y ago51:31

51:31

Beep beep! Honk honk! I’m a SAMPLER PLATTER—of the 522 Club! That’s right, Chet, we’re giving you a LIL sip of a LOT of patreon exclusive content, cha cha cha. Including:WHO WANTS IT with SISTER CALLISTAPA and DEVON chat JAR JAR YEAH JAR JARAaaaand you even get to hear DEACON ADAM discuss books with BR and PA!We got a spicy one coming in two weeks …

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145. Are You Afraid of the Story: BUGS 41:59

3y ago41:59

41:59

Beep beep! Honk honk! I’m a BUG. RNNNNNNGG RNG RNG RNGG, look out! A Big Bug Is Coming. Oh, even the clergy has a STORY or TWO about BUG. Don’t believe me? Oh, just TRY listening to a tale or three from:DEVONBROTHER REIDAnd even: PASTOR ANDREWI’ll be back in two weeks with more Story, but not if you show me ‘ttude like this. Nuh UH. New shirt, ya g…

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144. The Perfect Route 28:09

3y ago28:09

28:09

Sorry I’m late, turns out TRAFFIC. Ughhh traffic always gets in the way, especially of car, and most especially: truck. What can we do about traffic? Lots! But I’ll tell you what: it won’t stop the suffering.TRUCKSRADIOSLiturgical Reading: “The Perfect Route”RAGEWe’ll be back in two weeks with more Story, don’t even doubt me.New shirt alert, WEAR i…

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143. Self-Portrait 31:06

3y ago31:06

31:06

Try to draw a picture of your own face. Do you know where all the pieces belong? If you forgot what you looked like, you’d never be able to recreate it.InvocationA SHIRTLiturgical Reading: “Self-Portrait”A SHIRTYeah we got a new shirt so go DO it: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.comBOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.comPATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt…

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142. The Brain, The Body 31:12

3y ago31:12

31:12

Suck in your gut. Pucker up your lips! Hock, pull, and reLEASE Good: you just spat out your own brain, ya dumb dumb. Get it outta there! Your brain can’t make you happy, and four out of five bodies agree. P’too!InvocationShh Thoughts hahaLiturgical Reading: “The Brain, The Body”RocksGet out of the dog kennel, and put on your Tuesday best, ‘cause we…

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141. It Was A Sunday... 33:19

3y ago33:19

33:19

Pay attention to this STORY and DON’T get DISTRACTED, like you would while holding the hand of the Archduke’s son while the world’s coal-tossing competition progressed a mere thirteen feet away. The Archduke of course demanded a close view, given his failing eyesight, but also his failing sense of smell and taste. He ate meals for hours, and never …

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140. Young Robert! 33:39

3y ago33:39

33:39

Ohhh Young Robert. Oh! Young Robert! Everyone LOVES Young Robert. He’s sailing for America! He encounters DANGER. But who IS Young Robert? One thing for sure: he’s young!Chunk down to www.thestorymustbetold.com to buy a book, ya goob.The Annual Story fund-a-thonDonationsA Very Special Episode of Young RobertWe are taking a much needed break for the…

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139. Hard To Be A Mother 38:22

3y ago38:22

38:22

Shh shhhhh go to www.thestorymustbetold.com and buy a book shh shhh it’s actually just links to the Amazon purchase pages shh shhh you don’t have to give us your info we already HAVE it.A mother can be anything. A frog. A bunch of rocks. Devon, apparently. But the one thing a mother can’t be? FREE from the STORY. Look look, uh oh it’s coming for yo…

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138. The Sublimation Of Petsmart - Guest Preacher Amber Nelson 24:19

3y ago24:19

24:19

Slop some STORY into your palms with our NEW book: Seasons of the Story. Buy here: www.thestorymustbetold.comMeow meow, bark bark, tweet tweet, sublimate sublimate. We all become ONE in the PetSmart. We all become ONE in LOVE, even if it hurts! And it WILL.Guest Preacher: Amber Nelson (Brighter Side and Some Place Under Neith podcasts)InvocationPsa…

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137. Bearer of Light 34:56

3y ago34:56

34:56

Our book is the ONLY truth EVER. Buy SEASONS OF THE STORY at www.thestorymustbetold.comWho will you meet in the mystery woods? Uh oh, maybe someone niiiiice. But can you trust anyone you meet in the mystery woods? Don’t ask me, CHURT.InvocationPetitions for Glorious CongregantsLiturgical Reading: “Bearer of Light”The Song of PsalmsIn two weeks we’l…

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Psalms of the Congregation 24:22

3y ago24:22

24:22

Our BOOK is out, Chester. Buy SEASONS OF THE STORY at www.thestorymustbetold.comFor the past year, every month on the Story Discord, our congregants submit original psalms in a CONTEST OF STORY TRUTH. We have read the winners and present them here for YOU. Join the discord and submit at https://discord.gg/9QUv46G. It’s typically for patreon members…

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BOOK ANNOUNCEMENT: Seasons of the Story 1:42

3y ago1:42

1:42

No Story today, Chester, just a big CHUNK of NEWS:The Story Must Be Told is releasing its first book ... OF STORIES. Mark your humble calendar for OCTOBER 26th when the goodness of the Story plops down on you!15 of your favorite Stories, plus a BRAND NEW STORY bigger and chunkier that will forever live in the book EXCLUSIVE. Artwork by celebrated c…

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136. Stalkers 41:11

3y ago41:11

41:11

Knock knock.Who’s there?The Story.The Story who?The Story Must Be Told.Anyway, this episode was sponsored on Patreon.com/tsmbt by congregant Thomas K. Oh congregant, you will RUE the day you gave us your hard earned cheddar. We thank you! InvocationPsalm: “A Box of Family”Liturgical Reading: “Stalkers”Closing PrayerWe are taking off the next episod…

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135. Doogie Reassembled 39:49

3+ y ago39:49

39:49

How many living people do you equal? When they gather, what do they say about you? Do they miss you? Where did you go? Have they noticed you’re gone? The Story answers: none, no, no, nowhere, no.InvocationPsalm: “The Joke About A Noisy Dog”Liturgical Reading: “Doogie Reassembled OR The Incident”A Startling RevelationPhew, wasn’t sure I’d make it to…

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134. Homesick 31:46

3+ y ago31:46

31:46

A big city is just stuffed fulla the dead. Can’t walk a corner or occupy a room no one ain’t died in before. It’s what we call “pre-war charm.”InvocationAccusationsLiturgical Reading: “Homesick”A Startling RevelationIf I see you around these parts two weeks from now for another episode, I’ll know true it was love we shared today. Our first book of …

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