In and out of the psychiatric system, patient Eight and his dehydrated rodent friend discuss random topics. At least, that is what some rando AI decided to say about my dedicated muse. Dehydrated? Dehydrated?! Desiccated Mouse is most certainly not dehydrated. He is desiccated! That is what you get when you allow the artificially intelligent to say things. I didn't even know computers listened to my show. Suspicious. Very suspicious.
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Here Lies Eight, A Saint Amongst Men (and Women) - The Ward 46
1:17:14
1:17:14
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Bush tentacles, potato chip security advice, and petting pretty grass! Eight continues on his perilous jog through the cold wilderness while explaining recent happenings and the consequences of having sexy hips. (Podcast may or may not involve gerbils.) Send comments, feedback, or carrot-related recipes to: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.com…
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Going For A Jog - The Ward 045
1:08:33
1:08:33
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1:08:33
Eight returns! From his Surprise Extended-Stay All-Expenses-Paid Involuntary Vacation! Will you join him for a bit of fresh air? Pretty rocks, suspicious birds, hungry beasts, and psych meds... a typical American outing. (At the time of this recording, he has not been eaten by wolves. But he is still looking for that elusive group.) Editors Note: E…
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Eight explores magic, holy books, broccoli sobriety, and the only Irish word he knows. A must listen for any cat person who is off their meds! Send adoration to: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.comAf Eight
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October Special: Hair Dye - The Ward 043
1:01:18
1:01:18
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1:01:18
Storytime with Eight! A slice of October fashion tips, mostly Satan-free. (Any likeness to actual events and insane cultist dogma is possibly but not necessarily coincidental and does not necessarily reflect the actual views of your next door neighbor who has been staring at you through your window when you aren't looking.) Tasty rocks, hatemail, a…
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The Orgonite Trail - The Ward 042
1:23:35
1:23:35
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1:23:35
Eight almost get's killed by clothes, The CIA periodically scrambles the audio (Terribly sorry about that... We'll be increasing the tinfoil budget), and Squirrels. So. Many. Squirrels. So everybody close your eyes! We're gunna leave Jesus a voicemail... Also, hold your chakra angel blessing lightwork healing reiki Orgonite close and strap yourself…
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Spilling The Podbeans - The Ward 041
52:51
52:51
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52:51
Eight comments on his first comment! Which was promptly deleted by the bean people, but in the immortal words of Jean Luc Picard: "It's too late. I saw everything!" Speaking of beans, so many are spilled. Mind the mess. This podcast was recorded with the help of "Technology." It almost wasn't recorded at all because of Eight's "Brain." But thanks t…
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I Wanna Rocks - The Ward 040
1:16:11
1:16:11
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"We're here to watch people sleep, not judge their cookbooks..." Have you ever wondered about rocks? Well we have you covered! From rocks, to Japanese tea, to cat crispies; Eight makes sure you get a well-rounded education. Write in to: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.comAf Eight
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Thai Macramé Liches - The Ward 039
55:07
55:07
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55:07
Don't fall prey to the knotty liches, They'll steal your rocks and confuse your stitches! Eight deals with the worst tutorial known to man, so protect your orifices! (Except your ears, of course.) "String is the thing in which to catch the conscience of the King!" -Shakespeare (probably) Also, So sorry TogaGirl. You may have to wait for the Russian…
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Random Randy Ramble - The Ward 038
55:41
55:41
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55:41
Happy New Year! Do you think you deserve 2021? Do you?! DO YOU?!?! Well, I wouldn't be so hard on yourself. Eight is in no way an arsonist. No squirrels were harmed in the making of this video. Please direct all rodent-related inquiries to: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.com Non-rodent-related inquiries can be sent by mail to: Justin Trudeau…
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Join Eight for a fireside story this Halloween! Lavish praise upon us at: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.comAf Eight
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Eight endures the incompetence of mortals, explosive Dr. Pepper, and ponders the procreative chances of Mr. Bajingajad. If you are not currently wielding a chainsaw, you can contact us at: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.comAf Eight
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Eight talks about the joys (or unjoys) of microwave popcorn, meditation with a certain rock star, and has another heart to heart with a righteous walking buddy. If you are in desperate need of Taco Bell but don't know the natural signs to find one, this episode is for you! Send all occult knowledge or Ikea instructions to: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.c…
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Footprints in the Sand(wich) - The Ward 033
1:22:21
1:22:21
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1:22:21
Eight explores the urban jungle while learning about bridge art, mounty slander, and stupid dog faces. (May contain sandwich related content. Pickle discretion is advised.) Sandwich Emergency Hotline: Feedback@thewardpodcast.comAf Eight
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Have you been feeling stimulated lately? Eight gives you a quickie as he waits in line for the patron saint of customer service and makes sweet music just for you! (Eight is not a professional musician. This music does not constitute musical advice.) Enrage a sloth with poorly written limericks: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.com…
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The Reverse Malkovich - The Ward 031
57:46
57:46
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57:46
What is this? Christmas in July?! In this episode a listener wins a prize! Learn the secrets of bean inception, and help Eight plan his funeral. Reserve your front row funeral seats by writing in at: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.com It'll be a shark party nobody will forget! (Exact date yet to be determined.)…
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Eight attempts a podcast before his meds kick in, Talks about prepper channels on youtube, and shares heartwarming stories about Bible School. Unfortunately the meds kicked in before the intricacies of Mounty hopscotch could be discussed, but never fear! There is always next time. Contact the CIA: Feedback@TheWardPodcast.com Checkout The Canadian P…
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Are you ready to be fancy? I'm ready to be fancy. Eight experiences the Deli counter in a local supermarket, teaches you how to taste water like a pro, and still hasn't gotten any sleep. Contact us: Feedback@theWardPodcast.comAf Eight
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Propaganda Mary Poppins Ragefest - The Ward 028
45:24
45:24
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45:24
A simple web search sends Eight off on a rant involving a podcast with a similar name. Are there even bears in the UK? Bots, propaganda, lies, and inappropriate (or very appropriate) responses to seeing swimming pools. (Do you even eat broccoli, bro?) Contact: feedback@theWardPodcast.comAf Eight
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Mommy, What Are Those Foxes Doing? - The Ward 027
23:25
23:25
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23:25
I'll give you a hint, it isn't yoga... Updates in the war against squirrels, togas, and other needful information. Contact: feedback@theWardPodcast.comAf Eight
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Where The Sun Don't Shine - The Ward 026
31:49
31:49
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31:49
Guess where you can put this podcast? The great doctor 穴 明光 can help you find out! Has Eight gotten any sleep? Has the 1000 year war with the squirrels finally ended? Become enlightened from the bottom up by listening to this podcast! Contact: Feedback@theWardPodcast.comAf Eight
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Clocks and squirrels are the devil's playthings. When will Eight get some sleep? Contact us: Feedback@theWardPodcast.comAf Eight
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Did you ever wish your podcast spent almost an hour talking about shampoo? Well, do I have a treat for you! Drop Eight a line at: Feedback@thewardpodcast.com (Seriously though, Trevor... You should be ashamed of yourself.)Af Eight
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Non-stick Thuggery - The Ward 023
1:10:21
1:10:21
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1:10:21
Holidays, shrubbery, and festive arson. Thank your chair for it's brave service! (This episode does not constitute financial advice! Also not from concentrate.) Contact Us: Feedback@thewardpodcast.com "It's Your Podcast! Use it when YOU need it!"Af Eight
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The curious link between narcolepsy, bird breasts, and 4k television sets. A Black Friday special! Contact us: feedback@thewardpodcast.comAf Eight
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Fall of the Celery Goddess - The Ward 021
48:10
48:10
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48:10
It was all the chihuahua's fault. contact: feedback@thewardpodcast.comAf Eight
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Sexual Non Sequitur - The Ward 020
40:23
40:23
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40:23
Eight gives insights into goats, relationships, and random encounters with unexpected sexual advances. Contact Eight at: feedback@thewardpodcast.comAf Eight
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Liquor Stores Across America! - The Ward 019
49:24
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49:24
How to get arrested at Wal-Mart, The mysteries of Canadian blended whiskey, and other assorted randomness. (Who can afford 5 cucumbers?) Reach me at: feedback@thewardpodcast.comAf Eight
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Freedom, Family, and Apple Fritters - The Ward 18
51:54
51:54
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51:54
The secret to why I haven't been around for a bit. The best relatives you can buy! (Hint, they were free and you get what you pay for). And the start of a new adventure! Subscribe!: https://theward.libsyn.com/ Email: feedback@thewardpodcast.com Twitter: ...I kinda forgot. maybe @thewardpodcast_ ????Af Eight
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Eight selflessly sacrifices his health for you, Frozen is Dead!, and a correction about bear nipples. Miracle Max approved. Feedback: Feedback@thewardpodcast.com Subscribe: Itunes, Stitcher, or at https://theward.libsyn.com Twitter: @TheWardPodcast_Af Eight
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Lying to children, the origins of Easter, Twitter Hell, and the best alarm clock ever! (Definitely not a podcast about necrophiliac ducks). Feedback: Feedback@thewardpodcast.com Subscribe: https://theward.libsyn.com Twitter: @TheWardPodcast_Af Eight the Heretic
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St. Patrick's Green Laser - The Ward 015
25:05
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25:05
The mysteries of St. Patrick's Day revealed, how cookies and milk can save lives, and a recipe that will make even the most hipster barista jealous! Subscribe: https://theward.libsyn.com Feedback: Feedback@thewardpodcast.com Twitter: @thewardpodcast_Af Eight
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Beware the Ides of March - The Ward 014
33:30
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33:30
The Rat rats on Eight (again), Secret construction paper messages, multinational syndicates, and a foliage-based conspiracy. Beware of senators! Feedback: Feedback@thewardpodcast.com Twitter: @TheWardPodcast_ Subscribe: https://theward.libsyn.comAf Eight
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YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HELL - The Ward 013
18:13
18:13
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18:13
Did you seriously think you were going to heaven? Special episode thanks to the magics of Jared and a few stints in solitary. Lucky number 13 my party people! Subscribe at: https://theward.libsyn.com Hatemail (or Love-letters) to: feedback@thewardpodcast.com Twitter: @thewardpodcast_Af Eight
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My Ginger Fluffer Castrato - The Ward 012
34:48
34:48
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34:48
Bill Burr's Monday Morning Podcast, a rundown of various types of sports, and the secret martial art that became the modern game of golf. Also, thoughts on uncouth methods of castration. Feedback: feedback@thewardpodcast.com web: https://theward.libsyn.com Twitter: @TheWardPodcast_Af Eight
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The Yogurt of My Ancestors - The Ward 011
34:49
34:49
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34:49
What happens when you put fruit on the bottom, Roman antics, and proof that demons aren't impressed with pastels. Contact us: Feedback@thewardpodcast.com Twitter: @thewardpodcast_ Subscribe: https://theward.libsyn.comAf Eight
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President Trump Lunch Boxes - The Ward 010
40:15
40:15
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40:15
President Trump wants to force-feed America's poor! A rant about government "nutrition" and a listener solves the first puzzle. Airborne squirrels. Contact us: Feedback@thewardpodcast.com Subscribe on Itunes, Stitcher, or at TheWard.libsyn.comAf Eight
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Flamethrower Romance - The Ward 009
53:43
53:43
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53:43
Elon Musk, forbidden romance, and Roman decadence for the Valentines holiday! Settle your blood feuds and take a crack at the week's puzzle before Eight gets medicated out of his mind. Write Us: Feedback@thewardpodcast.com Subscribe: Itunes (search for "carrot cake meatloaf"), Stitcher, or at http://theward.libsyn.com…
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An historic event in which three moons rise on the same day, Eight gets confused which pod is which (and doesn't realize it), and practical advice about hair dryers. It's in the DNA. Contact us at: Feedback@thewardpodcast.com Temporary Website: theward.libsyn.com Also find us on iTunes (search for: Carrot Cake Meatloaf), Stitcher, or a podcast play…
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There is no such thing as a tostada, damnit! There is no such thing as a tostada! Those are called chalupas and a poor excuse for one at that! Taco Bell... oh Taco Bell... Anyways, This episode is filled with crack and chalupas. Carrot ecstasy!Af Eight
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Secret Agent Horse Power - The Ward 006
37:13
37:13
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37:13
Mouse racism, wall climbing, and the truth about horses. The Ward has been infiltrated!Af Eight
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Satan and the Phone Fairy - The Ward 005
35:07
35:07
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35:07
Summon Satan for mental health! A visit from the phone fairy, Netflix, and the plague.Af Eight
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The magic of music, my tragic fall from grace, and our first puzzle! The government shuts down.Af Eight
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The wonders of Canada/Washington, Desiccated Mouse's first fan, and the eternal wisdom of Disney's Frozen. Also, the truth about Time and my recent promotion!Af Eight
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The Tao of Skittles, an examination of Jared's existential reality (and popularity), and my rise as the Messiah of Generation X. Fake missile alerts!Af Eight
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Carrot Cake Meatloaf - The Ward 001
37:53
37:53
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37:53
First Episode! Wherein we talk about prisons, Desiccated Mouse's special birthday recipe, and insomnia caused by murderous roomies. A day in the life...Af Eight
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