OurVoices, the podcast by OurPath, Inc., is a resource for Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People as we navigate the tremendous life changes that accompany the discovery that our spouses or partners are LGBT+. Closets impact entire families. Telling our own stories as Straight Partners or Partners of Trans People is a powerful catalyst for healing, growth and discovering our own paths toward an authentic life post disclosure or discovery. Host Kristin Kalbli interviews Straight Partn ...
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S7 Ep 8: The 6 Stages of Coming Out With Dr. Ben Schilaty
49:16
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Dr. Ben Schilaty, a social work professor and therapist, explains the Six Stages of Coming Out (first observed by Dr. Vivienne Cass in the 1970's). We explore both the experiences of LGBT+ spouses progressing through these stages, along with the corresponding experiences of straight spouses at each stage. This conversation aims to shed light on the…
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S7 Ep 7: A Detransitioned Man Shares His Motives for Becoming a Trans Woman so Wives Can Better Understand their Spouses
1:09:48
1:09:48
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Ray Alex Williams used to go by the name Rachel. A former trans woman, today he refers to himself as a detransitioner. In this episode, he shares his perspective on his own transition process, including his true motivations for transitioning. Exploring a diversity of essential perspectives like Ray’s can provide wives whose husbands have come out a…
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S7 Ep 6: Navigating Conflicting Feelings When a Straight Spouse has an LGBT+ Child
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52:57
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When Christine discovered her husband was gay after thirteen years of marriage, at first she felt relief that the disconnect between them had been explained. Anger and grief came much later. But when her oldest child came out as trans a few years later, she felt her grief first. Many straight spouses in mixed orientations marriages have LGBT+ child…
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S7 Ep 5: One Husband's Story of Divorcing a Late-Life Lesbian
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When another husband called Wade out of the blue to tell him both their wives were spending time together on a vacation that very moment, Wade Ferris knew the writing was on the wall. With candor and vulnerability, Wade shares his story of learning that his wife of 23 years is a lesbian during the pandemic. A dedicated father and husband, Wade trie…
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S7 Ep 4: Coming Out as a Late Life Lesbian with Anne-Marie Zanzal
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Podcaster, Writer and coming out Coach Anne-Marie Zanzal shares her journey to coming out as a late-life lesbian after decades in a straight marriage. With the hope of building understanding and healing for straight husbands, she sheds light on the experiences of women coming out later in life and answers their questions. About Anne-Marie: https://…
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S7 Ep 3: The Case for Letting Go with Karen Slater
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Karen Slater had a lot to forgive her closeted husband for, not the least of which is the impact his sexual rejection had on her. It created profound insecurity about her body and sparked years of yo-yo dieting, trying to reignite their sex life, only to have her efforts fail and the cycle repeat. In this conversation, she shares all she had to for…
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S7 Ep 2: The Sweet Pain of Being Alive with Ann Anderson Evans
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1:14:20
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Author Ann Anderson Evans shares her story of loss and healing after she discovered her husband’s body the morning after he took his own life. After a decades long struggle with his gender identity and her husband's suicide, Ann has worked to make sense of her life, the man she married, and the hidden pain he carried. Ann's story is nuanced, compli…
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S7 Ep 1: Creating an Authentic Life After Mixed Orientation Marriage with Sally Srok
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Author and Coach Sally Srok shares her experience of losing herself in a 20-year mixed orientation marriage, learning her husband was gay, and how she rebuilt her life after divorce. After a birthday trip on a cattle drive reawakened her sense of self, Sally found the strength to confront her unhappy marriage, pursue a divorce, and keep her childre…
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S6 Ep 13: Healing the Trauma and Shame of Betrayal with Author Michelle Mays
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Today we talk to Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal Michelle Mays. She is the author of The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts you the Worst. We discuss the emotional and psychological impact of sexual betrayal on betrayed partners, the four types of gaslighting and their effects, …
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S6 Ep 12: A Deep Dive Into Forgiveness, Part 2, with Pastor Carter Cortelyou
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In part 2 of our deep dive into forgiveness, we seek a spiritual perspective with Methodist Pastor Carter Cortelyou. We talk about why it can be so hard to let go of the identity of being a straight spouse, what lies on the other side of forgiveness, and why forgiveness can make us feel vulnerable. Carter Cortelyou is a United Methodist clergy pers…
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S6 Ep 11: A Deep Dive into Forgiveness with Everette Worthington
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It's no secret that people who have been betrayed often have a hard time forgiving the person who betrayed them. Resistance to "letting them off the hook" is understandable. In this illuminative conversation with Professor Everette Worthington, we learn the science and research behind forgiveness - what it is, how to do it, and why it matters for o…
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S6 Ep 10: The Secret Life of Secrets with Michael Slepian
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55:49
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Michael Slepian is the leading expert on the psychology of secrets and author of The Secret Life of Secrets. Slepian has authored more than fifty articles on secrecy, truth, and deception. We talk about why people keep their sexual orientation and gender identity secret (among other secrets), how secrets impact both the secret keeper and those that…
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S6 EP 9: Counseling Couples Through Gender Transition with Dr. Gary Bischof
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Dr. Gary Bischof is a professor and coordinator of the Marriage, Couple and Family Counseling Program in the Dept of Counselor Education and Counseling Psychology at Western Michigan University. He is a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in the treatment of couples navigating the gender transition of one of the partners. In this ep…
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S6 Ep 7: Post Separation Abuse and High Conflict Divorce with the author of Cover Wife, Suzanne Hope
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After discovering that her husband was regularly dialing "Manhunt," one of the most iconic telephone dating services for gay men, Suzanne knew her marriage was not what she thought. After she left the marriage she endured two decades of post separation abuse and coercive control. Her experience has lead her to become a certified high conflict divor…
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S6 Ep 6: Autoheterosexuality and the Connection with Trans Identities with Phil Illy
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When our guest Phil Illy found out he had a sexual orientation that he’d never heard of, he set out to understand it. Following an extensive review of nearly a century of research from clinical sexology, Phil describes and demystifies autoheterosexuality, and how this much misunderstood sexual orientation can set someone on a path to becoming trans…
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S6 Ep 5: Decoding Closeted Spouses with Ryan King
1:21:48
1:21:48
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Our favorite self-described former closeted gay narcissist in recovery joins us for a third time to answer audience questions. In this episode he helps us demystify and identify the deflection, script flipping, gaslighting, blame shifting and shame shifting tactics some closeted spouses may exhibit during the course of a mixed orientation marriage …
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S6 Ep 4: When Disclosure is Still Fresh with Bridget Walker
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10 years ago, Bridget unknowingly married a gay man. He came out to her just four months ago. In this raw, deeply honest episode, Bridget takes listeners on a journey through the early days of her heartbreak with vulnerability and realness. She talks about anger, depression, and coping with learning that her marriage was not what she thought. She m…
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S6 Ep 3: Surviving Betrayal Beautifully with Jessica Frew
56:52
56:52
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Jessica Frew is a wife, ex-wife, mom, stepmom, and she hosts a podcast called “Husband in Law” that she records with her husband, Matt, and her ex-husband, Steve, who is gay. Jessica shares here own story of Mixed Orientation Marriage, how they tried to make it work, how it eventually fell apart, and how she and her ex-husband managed to co-create …
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S6 Ep 2: Surviving a High Conflict Divorce
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Your financial support helps make this content possible. If you would like to contribute to the podcast, please donate here. Our guest Jason shares his story of high conflict divorce after his wife's coming out. He describes how he navigated serious unfounded accusations, being arrested in front of his children based on those accusations, and the c…
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S6 Ep 1: Cheating is Cheating with The Chump Lady, Tracy Schorn
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If you would like to support this episode, please donate here. On today's Season 6 opener, Chump Lady Tracy Schorn talks about cheating, double lives and closets (of all kinds), and the toll being a chump can take on an unsuspecting spouse or partner. Tracy cuts through the nonsense and calls a spade a spade: cheating is the "theft of your reality"…
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S5 Ep 9: What is Autogynephilia with Dr. Ray Blanchard
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Dr. Blanchard is widely known for his typology of transexuals and as the originator of the term Autogynephilia, a controversial paraphilia which describes a heterosexual male’s propensity to be sexually aroused by the idea of themselves as women. Dr. Blanchard was the psychologist in the Adult Gender Identity Clinic at the Clarke Institute of Psych…
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S5 Ep 8: When Closets are Part of Domestic Abuse
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In this episode, our guest describes the domestic abuse she endured at the hands of her husband, who was also closeted. She shares the danger signs of domestic abuse, her risky exit from her marriage, and how she now uses her experience to become an advocate for both Straight Partners and Domestic abuse survivors.…
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S5 Ep 7: What it Means When a Spouse Comes Out as Non-binary
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1:05:39
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Philippa wasn’t sure what it meant for her marriage when her husband came out to her as transgender/non-binary. The road after disclosure was a rocky one, and at times, Philippa didn’t think her marriage would survive. She describes how, with a commitment to treat each other with respect and honesty through the process, they arrived at a marriage t…
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S5 Ep 6: Making Meaning when It’s Hard to Talk About
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45:31
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Kirsten Duncan, host of the Unexpected Launch podcast, talks about her husband’s disclosure that he is gay, how her entire life as she knew it changed in that moment, and how listening to other peoples’ stories of navigating big life challenges helped her move forward. She shares the questions and doubts she has about her history, and why it’s so h…
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S5 Ep 5: A Former Closeted Narcissist in Recovery Answers Your Questions
1:38:18
1:38:18
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1:38:18
Ryan King returns to the podcast to answer your most common questions about closeted narcissists, their motivations and behaviors. He speaks from his own experience and his experience working with other closeted, married (to women) men. He uses what he’s observed to bring clarity and validation to Straight Partners.…
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