1. The Obamas head to Africa! 2. Information for a dollar. 3. Sesame street parenting framework for retards. 4. WAR: American/Syrian proxy war. 5. School is a bitch. 6. Genes not to be patented. YAY! 7. I love white people. and more.

1. Scandal is a four letter word. 2. Hillary Clinton Twitter. 3. Syria. Turkey. Joke. 4. U.S. military gotta love Bam-dog. 5. Sue. Threat. Saudi. 6. Acupuncture is a tiger's best friend. 7. 1984 is 60% of 3306. and more.

1. Hilarious Hillary. 2. Politics is a dick joke n' a half. 3. Turkey: The dictator gone retard. 4. Lungs are overrated. 5. Hotel for a Motel. 6. Bullet train gains speed. 7. Israeli women are hot. and more.

1. Oklahoma tears a new one. 2. Apple avoiding taxes. But wait, is that a cute little dog I see!? 3. IRS accountability issues. 4. The Exorcist. 5. We must bomb Iraq for some reason. 6. Sex slaves are the new Sex slaves. 7. Cannes as troubled as Lindsay Lohan. and more.

1. Celebrities cry tonight! 2. Bacon you sexy thang. 3. Obama can't subtract. 4. Stockton Total War Zero. 5. Howard Stern is my role model. 6. Phily, you child molesting freak. 7. Food. Food. Starvation. and more.

1. President Obama: The Official Blame Game TM. 2. Pope Francis condemns himself. 3. Accessorize bitch. 4. Ammunition shortages rock fed. 5. What witness? 6. Venezuela toilet paper shortage. 7. Warren Buffet cries. and more.

1. Seven people caught trespassing... terrorist! 2. Seattle man = U.S. Government. 3. Eric Holder. No comment. 4. Detroit mayor has enough. 5. IRS cannot contain it's excitement. 6. Obama too big. 7. Solar Flares speak truth. and more. www.thefinancialreality.com

1. Justice De-what? 2. I exclusively hit gay people. 3. Samsung > Apple. 4. President Obama is a top down, bottom up kinda guy. 5. Russia is boiling. 6. SARS: Delicious. 7. Nuclear. and more.

1. Green jobs are expensive things. 2. Russian 'victory' parade. 3. Syria is a bitch. 4. Get a pet. NOW. 5. Colorado does weed. 6. The Iranian hang glider. 7. American man cover up. and more.

1. Benghazi hearings. RUSE. 2. Top 100 Trusted People in America. 3. 105 Texan HOE. 4. Putin is not a happy camper. 5. Teacher fails to master the deep throat. 6. Giant African land snails. Sexy. 7. Nuclear what? and more.

1. The Cicada strikes back! 2. Rush Limbaugh is not faulty LOL. 3. The Chinese white/pink dolphin. Who knows!? 4. Foreign hackers plan attack. Note: Foreign. 5. California: Fire season a bitch. 6. Food stamps for pets. 7. Al Gore is rich. and more.

1. Far OUT Golden Dawn party. 2. Obama, you're the devil. Cute~~. 3. Chinese Scientists create new strain of mutant influenza virus. 4. More China, with a bite of rat. 5. Fire. Fire! Ages away. 6. Defense department does stuff. 7. Ex-speaker, please stop speaking. and more.

1. Obamacare: The consequential disaster. 2. Golden Dawn Greek only Soup Kitchen. 3. Al Jazeera Detroit. 4. 25th person dies from Chinese bird flu. 5. Google glass. 6. Philadelphia advertising rein. 7. Syria? Where art thou chemical might? and more.

1. Massacre in Newtown, Connecticut... 2. Airplane news. 3. Chavez. You have been terminated (cancer). 4. Obama is cool about weed. Though war still be hip #YOLO. 5. Beiber castration plot. 6. The Chinese are doomsday CRAZY! 7. Midget porn breaks records. 8. Black + News = Views.

1. I'm so pumped to start being crazy again! 2. Did the doctor say not to smoke meth? Because I can't help but feel my addiction is more honest.

1. France, you're an even more failed Venezuela. 2. Obama's do-or-die. 3. Lying is what Biden was built to do. 4. Amtrak, you're an even more failed France. 5. Mice sing. 6. Clinton takes responsibility for something that means nothing. 7. Sports enthusiasts disappointed by a lack of death.

1. Muslims get angry outside Google HQ. Use Google maps to find way. 2. Man jumps. Real high. 3. Turkey and Syria. Seriously, cut it out. 4. Michelle Obama. You are the queen of disgrace. 5. Pension funds, severely lacking. Hooray! 6. People murdered in Chicago. Black people doing what they excel at. 7. To restore the balance. I'm Asian and my peni…

1. Chinese Yuan at an all-time high. It's funny because it's true. 2. J.P. Morgan record profit. Wish he didn't die. 3. EU peace prize award. 4. Tim defends Obama. I no like either. 5. Glass dies. 6. No one cares about Joe Biden. 7. A couple more ill-timed jokes.

1. Samantha: Romney's American Sweet-heart. Please say hello to the crew of Cheaters! 2. Meningitis is a real killer. 3. Washington could legalize weed. The Reade is officially immigrating. 4. Coke leaves Greece. Misinterpreted. 5. Carlos Fat is Carlos Rich. 6. Romney, meet religion. 7. Muslim brotherhood act like a bunch of Muslims.…

1. Merkel: The deadly witch from up north. 2. Obama cries himself to sleep. 3. North Korea: Missile can reach U.S. LOL. 4. Central planning FAIL! 5. Man who plans crazy thing, does sane thing. 6. Michelle Obama: No politics. Only suckie, suckie. 7. AP. Even you put me to shame! www.thefinancialreality.com…

1. Romney dishes Obama some hurt in the polls. 2. Iran perhaps close to A-bomb, maybe, probably, certainly! 3. Chavez, that sly dog won. 4. NY times about time. 5. Market looks itself in the mirror. LOL jks. 6. Obama hit hard by his own performance. Go figure. 7. Twitter explodes.

1. The Afghanistan war prolongs 12 long years. 2. 91 people infected by meningitis outbreak. 3. Biden vs Paul. Retard vs Model. 4. Californian gas goes woop-woop! 5. Snooooopdooooog. Slow down there, buddy. 6. NY air is very NY. 7. Lybia is a mess. 8. Venezuela. Elections. Chavez is fat. 9. Turkey (L) Syria. 10. $500 million in oil loans. 11. Israe…

1. Romney, meet Obama... TALK! Y U NO TALK!? 2. Adele is fat. 3. Recorded late at night, moments before falling asleep. I can't tell you how out of it I am. All I wanted to do, is finish this sucker off and shoot myself in the head with a 12 guage shotgun: The world's most effective narcotic. Enjoy!

1. Late. Brash. Upskirt. I was never very good at describing myself, but I feel these three words capture the essence of the Reade.

1. France to ban words "mother" and "father" for gay marriage. 2. Japan VS China. All I see is Asian man attacking his Shadow. 3. Clearly: Israel (L) Iran. 4. Facebook gaff, gets gaff. 5. Danish Sperm donor passes genetic disorder to 5 kids. Please don't tell the wife! 6. I can't take it Michelle! Give me back my North Korean dirt! 7. Obama is a so…

1. I'm a desperate man with a lonely voice. Someone please love me, I'll even give you my government welfare!? 2. The Reade cries tonight. This is the Drudge Report Report.

1. Pakistani protester dies from flag burning. LOL. 2. Mexican prisoners on the run. Kill Pitbull. 3. Obama is a socialist. Duh. 4. Dark energy camera. Spooky. 5. Homeland security purchases 200 million bullets. 6. America is one fat bastard. 7. America is broke. 8. Russia 3000 years worth of diamonds discovered. 9. Chinese general warms of war. 10…

1. Why am I not wearing pants!? 2. CNN release photo of anti-Islam creator. 3. Netanyahu is Ya-hoo. 4. Professor forces Obama onto students. 5. India space mission to mars; 2013. 6. Surf Australia: drones save lives. 7. GM bites hand. 8. DC police racist. 9. Occupy Wall Street anniversary. 10. Istanbul bank center shines. 11. $7 million gold.…

1. Chicago teacher's strike. The worst possible lesson. 2. Iran: Oil should be $150. America: Maybe you shouldn't have oil. 3. Lybia's president claims attack was pre-emptive. Lybia has a president? 4. Mystery murder solved after 55 years. My father's sperm feels a sense of justice. 5. Japan streamlines the Bukkake.…