Episode 12 Why does the Fear of Disappointing your family affects wealth as an entrepreneur and as a BRAND? (FEAR SERIES)

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Af elyse alexander and Elyse alexander. Opdaget af Player FM og vores brugere – copyright tilhører udgiveren, ikke Player FM, og lyden streames direkte fra deres servere. Tryk på Abonner-knappen for at få opdateringer i Player FM, eller kopier URL'en til en anden podcast-app.

Crippling, "what if I don't make my family proud" ran on loop.
When you get caught up trying to manage other peoples perception of you. You're out of your head and into theirs. They will judge you until they realize judging has no power. Because Judging doesn't change the narrative. If you make speaking about you, it's not big enough, you're going to stop somewhere. -Lisa Nichols
Thats why isn't not enough to just help my generation. I had to make it about the entire generational line of my family history. Because they all get to be free.
What we are going to talk about today:
1. Why how YOU feel about your family has to change?
2. Why is this fear so paralyzing in business + life?
3. Loyalty vs Happiness
4. Who will love me?
5. How to deal with the grief that comes up from letting go of the fear?
6. What i do to help me in daily practice?
1. This is where my codependency came up HARD in business. Because I was a new entrepreneur, I wanted to ask my family how they did things in the past. But it didn't align with how I wanted to live my life. The codependency part of me was saying "you cant do this on your own" you need them. But they didn't really understand what I was or am doing. We think it is others who need to change. But we only have control of ourselves. So we must change how we feel about your families approval. Give ourselves approval before ever asking for someone else's. I was so focused on being perfect because then I could never disappoint or bring the family shame. Living how my family wanted me to live. When you do this and it doesn't have the same result it did for them. You start to think something is wrong with you. But then even being perfect wasn't good enough.
2. I had a belief that I would rather DIE than disappoint my family. So when I did start to feel like I did disappoint them I felt like I was dying. But then something miraculous happened. I realized I didn't die. I was still alive. I had been alive the whole time. I had never died. But it felt like I did. Doing business your way requires you to do what maybe has never been done before you. I would refuse to move the needle or try anything in my fear of not making them proud of me. This caused no income in my business for MONTHS. I didn't want to be alone, any my family was the only ones there after everything. So I settled rather than disappoint. But I still felt like I didn't belong. So I surrendered to the fear.
3. Loyalty to your family is understandable and honorable. But it doesn't always serve us, unless we are willing to be loyal to one person first. OURSELVES.
Would you rather be loyal to others before yourself?
Would you rather be right or be happy?
I don't live to please my family anymore.
4. I was worried if i disappointed my family they would love me anymore. Like I would say something so bad that it would give them an out. I thought to myself then who would love me? Or worse that I was unlovable since no one had ever said I love you to me and meant it. I love me, I would never abandon myself again. So you always have someone to depend on in yourself.
5. Releasing the fear, you must fully feel it. Act as though the fear is true for a small amount of time. You feel it and acknowledge you didn't die. Cry, journal, sit with the feelings, listen to music. And call a coach or friend to help you if you're struggling after the release. But its like saying goodbye to the piece of you that cant come where we are going.
6. Ho'oponopono = Im sorry, Please forgive me, I love you, Thank you.
You are the one who dictates the quality of the journey. Be willing to take a half step not a whole step.
You can follow Elyse on Instagram @burningpure on Facebook @Elyse Alexander and watch her Podcast episodes on F*ck The Generational Wealth Gap Podcast by Elyse Nicole Alexander on YouTube.

16 episoder