How to Stop Fighting Each Other and Start Fighting the System

Conflict Decoded Podcast

In this episode of Conflict Decoded, I sit down with Denise Padín Collazo, a veteran leader in grassroots organizing and author of Thriving in the Fight: A Survival Manual for Latinas on the Front Lines of Change. Together, we dive into the heart of what it takes to build a better world without tearing each other down. Denise shares her insights on recognizing habitual responses to stress, setting boundaries, and the transformative power of rest for leaders committed to social justice. We also tackle the often-overlooked role of anti-Blackness in social movements and explore how to approach conflicts constructively so that our energy stays focused on the bigger fight—the systemic issues affecting our communities. Whether you’re a seasoned activist or new to organizing, Denise’s wisdom on thriving, connecting, and leading with compassion offers practical guidance and inspiration for the journey ahead. Show Notes How to Stop Fighting Each Other and Start Fighting the System Podcast Introduction: If the last month has made anything clear to those of us who believe that a better world is possible, it’s that we have our work cut out for us. We have a fight ahead. Yet, a big part of why we’ve yet to achieve our vision of a just world is that we too often confuse fighting each other with fighting the system. To win our collective fight, we must learn to stop seeing each other as the targets and focus our anger on the root causes of systemic issues. This week on Conflict Decoded, I talk with Denise Padín Collazo, who knows this well. Today’s Guest: Denise Padín Collazo Denise Collazo is a veteran leader in building grassroots power in the U.S. For over twenty-five years, she has been a central figure in the nation’s largest organizing network of faith and spiritual communities. In 2021, she wrote the award-winning Thriving in the Fight: A Survival Manual for Latinas on the Front Lines of Change, a love letter to Latina leaders, reminding them (and the rest of the world) of their power and unique role in the fight for social justice. She’s now the inaugural executive director of the Fund to Build Grassroots Power. In our conversation, Denise and I explore how to understand our habitual responses, identify what truly brings us alive, and organize our lives to honor our energy. We discuss dismantling anti-Blackness, parenting teenagers and adults, finding joy in the fight, and much more. Episode Highlights: Our Habitual Responses to Conflict: "My default response to stress or frustration was often anger. It’s like if you can only play middle C on a piano—it’s one note—anger, anger, anger… So how do you let that mask go that served you so well so long ago? What got you to this point is not always going to be the thing that gets you to the next place in your life." What Thriving Looks Like: "Everyone has an image of what thriving looks like. When people describe it, their entire demeanor changes—they get happy, excited, and smile. That's the kind of leadership that we need. We need passionate, energized leadership for this moment and for the moments that will come." Prioritizing Rest & Sleep: "Being hopeful and positive is hard when you're exhausted, sick, or sleep-deprived. A big antidote to burnout and hopelessness is rest and sleep. Our body tells us what it needs, and sometimes we ignore it…" Setting Boundaries & Thinking Creatively About Time: "The most helpful definition of boundaries has come from Prentice Hemphill, who describes a boundary as 'The space between you and me that allows me to love both you and me.' I’ve wrestled with this for years… There are ways we can think more creatively about our time, remembering its value, taking a hard look at what we’re doing, and asking, 'Is this really necessary? Do I need to be in this meeting?'" Resources Mentioned: Connect with Denise: denisecollazo.com | linkedin.com/in/denisecollazo