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Parenting Post-Wilderness: Parenting a Struggling Teen Before, During and After Treatment

Beth Hillman | Parent Coach for Parents of Struggling Teens

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Your guide to parenting a struggling teen or young-adult, whether they’re home, transitioning home, or presently in treatment. Parents, say goodbye to exhausting confusion, overwhelm, panic and the unhelpful patterns that keep you and your family stuck. Learn how to develop healthy responses and set healthy boundaries with your teen instead of acting out of fear and anxiety. Experience the relationship-changing power of focusing on your own behavior instead of futile attempts to control your ...
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Before your child has the chance to understand who they truly are, the world is already telling them what they are. Jake Wood knows this firsthand, and his story turns our whole conversation about teen drug addiction upside down. In one of the favorite interviews I’ve ever done, I sit down with transformation guide Jake Wood to explore a perspectiv…
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Does your teen always have one more promise, one more deal, or ‘just this once’ plea? You’re not imagining it. The moment you start negotiating with your teen, you’re pulled into a messy family dynamic that almost never works out the way you hope it will. In this episode, Seth and I talk about why these IOUs, bargains, and “I swear I’ll do it tomor…
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You want to be honest with your child… but when emotions run high, it can be hard to know where the line is between healthy emotional expression and unintentionally putting a burden on your young child, teen, or young-adult kid. If you’ve ever felt terrified, overwhelmed, or lost in the fear of “what if,” and weren’t sure whether to show your child…
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So much work happens during treatment, but the real test begins when your child comes home. The patterns that once kept your family stuck can easily reappear unless you intentionally create space for something new. This week, we talk about how to allow a fresh start after treatment and rebuild trust in a way that supports lasting independence and c…
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What do former addicts wish their parents had done differently? Josh and Heide Case are joining us today to explore that question. Both Heidi and Josh began using as teens and spent decades navigating addiction before finding lasting recovery. Their stories are raw, real, and filled with moments every parent of a struggling teen can learn from. Now…
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You’ve probably found yourself reacting before you even realize what’s happening countless times. I certainly have. Those fast, heated moments, when your blood boils, your breath shortens, and everything speeds up, can feel impossible to stop. And before you know it, you’re in a reactive back-and-forth with your teen or young adult kid. But what if…
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When your teen starts doing better (going to school, staying sober, following through), it’s natural to breathe a sigh of relief. It’s also natural for your teen or young adult to plead their case and ask you to loosen the boundary. But that’s the trap many parents fall into: they loosen the boundaries that helped create that progress in the first …
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You want to trust your teen again when they come back from treatment, but every setback and every little misstep can send your mind spiraling back to worst-case scenarios. Luckily, we’re joined again by Colin MacDonald from Not Therapy Coaching to explore what it really looks like to parent your teen after treatment, and how to make sure fear doesn…
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Teen suicide is every parent’s worst nightmare. Andy Campbell lived through it when his 18-year-old son took his own life. “I used to tell my son, ‘make any decision you want, but not the irreversible decision’, until he did.” - Andy Campbell Andy shares his story with raw honesty, describing the years of living with his son’s suicidal thoughts, th…
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Stories about wilderness range from life-saving transformations to devastating failures, and often, the loudest voices online lean toward fear and controversy. That’s why I’m so excited to be joined by filmmakers Mark Strauss and Vince Dixon, co-directors of the upcoming documentary Forest for the Trees: The Truth About Wilderness Therapy. With liv…
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When your teen is caught in the cycle of substance abuse, it can feel like you’re living in a nightmare you can’t wake up from. You find yourself wondering: Is this just normal teenage behavior? Or is something much bigger going on? I remember asking myself those same questions when my own son was struggling. That’s why this conversation with Dawn …
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Misdiagnosis, trial-and-error medication, and treatment plans that miss the real issue are realities many families haave to face, even though the last thing you want is guesswork when it comes to your struggling teen’s or young adult’s care. That’s where psychological testing comes in. In this conversation with Liz Griffith, owner of Psychological …
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You want to protect your child and give them a better life than you had. But sometimes, those good intentions backfire, leaving our teens less capable, less confident, and more dependent than we ever wanted. In this conversation with licensed clinical counselor and life coach Virginia Townsand, we explore how over-helping can unintentionally create…
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You step in to help, ease your kid’s struggles, but is your help actually helpful or is it keeping your struggling teen or young adult from making the changes they need most? You want the best for them, but how can you influence internal change? It’s a painful truth many parents don’t realize: sometimes “help” becomes enabling. By rescuing your str…
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Ever wondered if your teen’s latest mood swing, eye roll, or total shutdown is just part of growing up or a sign that something deeper is going on? You’re not alone. Parents ask me about normal teen behavior almost daily, especially when past struggles or treatment make it harder to tell what’s typical and what’s cause for concern. In this conversa…
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When your teen lies to you, it can feel like a betrayal, whether it’s about doing the dishes, where they were last night, or something much bigger. But what if their dishonesty isn’t a sign of disrespect, but a sign of something deeper? Today, therapist Dana VanRenterghem is back to unpack the emotional complexity behind why teens lie. From little …
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It’s one of the most heartbreaking parts of parenting a struggling kid: watching them resist the very help they need, even when they KNOW they need it. In today’s conversation, Seth and I talk about the resistance to change: what it looks like, why it shows up, and how powerless it can make you feel as a parent. Whether your teen is avoiding treatm…
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What if your struggling kid isn’t defiant, out of control, or ungrateful… but just hurting, lost, and desperate to be understood? In this follow-up conversation, Enzo returns. Last week, he shared his story. This time, he’s here to offer something every parent craves: honest, compassionate advice from someone who’s been there. Someone who ran from …
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What’s underneath the chaos when your teen or young adult is out of control? I may seem like they don’t care about anything: school, their future, you. But what if underneath, there’s a deep sense of fear, loneliness, and the desperate need to belong? As parents, we often only see the surface: defiance, shutdowns, risky behavior, silence. But there…
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You’re probably sick of hearing about self-care, and you’ve surely heard a hundred times that “you have to take care of yourself.” But when parenting a struggling teen or young adult, choosing yourself doesn’t always come naturally. So what does it actually look like to take care of yourself it feels like your family is in constant crisis? In today…
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There’s no handbook on how to advocate for your child at school, especially when things get hard. Navigating IEP meetings can feel overwhelming, intimidating, and downright confusing. You know your child needs support, but between the legal jargon, emotional stress, and resistance from schools, it’s hard to know how to show up as a strong advocate …
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Nobody really talks about what happens after treatment. The messy, vulnerable in-between where your teen or young adult is no longer in crisis but still doesn’t quite feel at home in the world. They’ve changed… and they can feel it. But instead of feeling proud, they often feel disconnected, misunderstood, or even rejected by their peers. They’ve g…
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“You’re so controlling!” Did your kid ever tell you that? If your teen or young adult constantly complains about your rules, expectations, or structure, saying that you’re controlling them, you're not alone. Many parents trying to set healthy boundaries with their teen end up questioning themselves the moment they face pushback. You want to listen,…
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When you’re desperate for support, it’s tempting to turn to extended family. But sometimes their “help” just makes things harder. It’s a common and painful dynamic for many struggling parents: your teen is having a hard time, and suddenly the grandparents or extended family start weighing in with passive-aggressive comments, outdated advice, or jud…
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What if the solution isn’t sending your teen away? When your child is struggling and the emotional rollercoaster has taken over your home, wilderness therapy might seem like the only real option. But what if it’s not the right option for your family? Today, I’m joined by mom Kathy and therapist Jen Murphy to talk about a different kind of approach …
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You’re trying to help. They think you’re trying to control them. Sound familiar? As parents, we often step in with the best intentions: to protect, guide, or simply make things easier. But when your teen or young adult shuts down, gets defensive, or accuses you of being controlling, it can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and stuck. So, what do yo…
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"I'm sorry" might be the hardest two words to say to your teen. But what if apologizing is actually the key to rebuilding trust and connection? In today’s episode, I sit down with therapist Dana VanRenterghem to unpack the real challenge of taking accountability with our teens and young adults. We dive into those messy moments when emotions run hig…
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When your kid makes harmful or self-destructive choices, it's natural to want to step in, correct, and fix. But at some point, empathy might feel like enabling. How do we listen with compassion without sending the message that their behavior is okay? In this episode, Seth and I unpack the fear that being supportive might mean condoning poor behavio…
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When our kids struggle to make better choices, we often focus on offering consequences, creating a plan, and following through. It’s a natural instinct to try harder, create structure, and hold boundaries. But what often gets overlooked is the role that beliefs play in motivating behavior change, both our kids’ beliefs about themselves and our own …
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“I do so much for them, and they don’t even notice”. Sounds like a familiar thought? Many parents of struggling teens or young adults feel used, taken for granted, or stuck in a dynamic where love feels more like a series of trades than a relationship. In this episode, I’m joined again by therapist Trevor Allen to unpack the tricky dynamic of trans…
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It’s not your child’s job to live up to your expectations. That might sound harsh, but it’s one of the most important truths I’ve had to learn as a parent, especially during the transition home after treatment. If you’re anything like me, you might be thinking: ‘But I don’t even have that many expectations!’ I used to think that too… I wasn’t askin…
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There’s a distinct shift that happens when your teen becomes a young adult, and it’s not just about age. Whether your child is living at home, in college, or fresh out of treatment, the transition from parenting a teenager to parenting a young adult is one of the most nuanced and challenging shifts we make as parents. In this episode, Seth and I ta…
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If your teen seems anxious, unmotivated, or constantly overwhelmed, there's often more going on beneath the surface than meets the eye. Teen anxiety is more common and more complex than many parents realize. Life coach for teens Monica Crnogorac brings both personal and professional insight on how to help your anxious teen. Together, we explore how…
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One of the most overlooked challenges after treatment? The loss of community. Teens and young adults often return home (or head off to college) and suddenly find themselves without the peer support they had in treatment, even though that kind of support, being seen and understood by someone who’s been through it too, can be one of the most powerful…
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When your teen or young adult is struggling, it’s easy for everything else to fall away, including you. It’s a pattern we both see often: parents abandoning their own needs in the name of care, staying on high alert for the next crisis, and losing themselves in the process. I remember the desperation I felt when my son was struggling. I poured ever…
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When you're doing the work to grow as a parent, it's common to overcorrect. You recognize a pattern (maybe you tend to be explosive in conflict) so you swing to the opposite end and become overly passive. It feels like progress, but suddenly you're stuck in a new extreme. In this episode, Seth and I explore what we call the "pendulum swing" of beha…
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We all have an inner dialogue. But it's too easy to take the stories we tell ourselves, about our kids, our parenting, and what’s going to happen next, to start feeling like facts. In this episode, Seth and I explore how our narratives can quietly shape our reactions, expectations, and ultimately our relationships with our teens and young adults. “…
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If your teen or young adult constantly underestimates how long things take or insists they “have plenty of time” when they don’t, welcome to the club! This common struggle is called time dysmorphia, and it’s more than just procrastination or laziness. It actually has to do with executive functioning. In this episode, executive function coach Chriss…
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Do you ever find yourself stuck in a conversation that’s going in circles, desperately trying to find a resolution? It’s natural to want closure, but sometimes, the healthiest thing you can do is step back. In this episode, Seth and I explore how disengaging can actually strengthen healthy communication with your teen rather than shutting it down. …
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It’s devastating to watch your teen struggle and feel like nothing you do is making a difference. You love them more than anything, yet your support, advice, and care don’t seem to make a difference. If you’ve ever thought, Why isn’t my love enough to help my struggling teen?, you’re not alone. In this episode, Seth and I unpack why struggling teen…
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Home visits after treatment can be both exciting and nerve-wracking for everyone involved. It’s a time filled with hope, but with that hope often comes fear: fear of falling back into old patterns, fear of things going wrong, and fear of not knowing what to expect. In this episode, Seth and I unpack what makes home visits so important, why they can…
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When a child struggles, the entire family feels it. But the sibling’s experience is often overlooked. Today, we get to hear the sibling’s perspective as Ethan Gordon, a mentor for struggling kids, teens, and young adults, joins me to share his unique perspective as both a sibling and a social worker. Drawing from his personal loss of a brother to d…
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Healthy communication is the foundation of strong relationships. But when emotions run high, it’s easy to fall into unhelpful patterns. In this episode, trauma therapist Sarah Allen joins me to explore how communication styles shape family dynamics and what it takes to shift toward healthier, more assertive communication with your struggling teen. …
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When life feels like too much, it’s easy to get caught in the spiral of overwhelm. And let’s face it, whether it’s your teen or yourself as a parent, overwhelm is something we all face from time to time. In this episode, we dive into how to support your teen through these challenging moments while also learning to manage your own as a parent. Overw…
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What do you do when you’ve tried everything? Your teen has been to wilderness programs, therapeutic boarding schools, partial hospitalization programs, and more—and yet, the struggles persist. The behaviors, the fears, the maladaptive patterns, they all return in some way or form when your teen comes back home. What now? In this episode, I’m joined…
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Parenting often feels like one of the most rewarding yet unrelenting journeys. There’s no clocking out, even after major milestones are achieved. In this episode, Seth joins me to explore what it means to keep showing up as a parent, even when the work feels never-ending. I reflect on how my son has grown far beyond his time as “my wilderness kid.”…
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Sometimes the shame around my actions feels so heavy and I feel like I’ve failed as a parent. Sounds familiar? In this deeply personal episode, I open up about one of the most painful regrets I’ve had as a parent. A moment I carried shame around for years. It was a time when I was overwhelmed with emotions and lacked the tools I have now, leading t…
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It’s no secret that sleep is crucial for teens, but getting them to prioritize it? That’s a whole different story! This week on the podcast, I’m joined by Dr. Funke Afolabi-Brown, a triple board-certified sleep physician and founder of Restful Sleep MD, to dive into the importance of sleep for our teens and how we, as parents, can support them in d…
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How do you know if your teen is truly making progress? As parents, we often cling to our own standards, like better grades or sticking to curfews. These are the markers we cling to as evidence that the therapy or treatment is “working.” But what if the signs you’re looking for aren’t the ones that matter most? Because, our teens? They’re navigating…
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It’s SO frustrating when your kid doesn’t take your advice, isn’t it?! As parents, we have more life experience and we can share our advice with our kids to give them an easier and smoother life experience, at least that’s how it feels to us, right? That’s not how it works though. Together with Ciara Fanlo (a former “troubled teen” turned mentor fo…
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